Minor vs Major
by WinterierLionheart
Summary: Major Suzaku Kururugi has been quietly given an office post. He intends to simply wait it out till he can get back to his normal life, which is until he meets Lelouch, the boy who works at the local Barnes & Noble, and unfortunately a minor.
1. Major Suzaku Kururugi

_**Pairing**__: SuzakuLelouch_

_**Rating:**__ M _

_**Summery**__: Major Suzaku Kururugi has been quietly given an office post for an incident his superiors would like to keep equally as quiet. He intends to simply wait it out till he can get back to his normal life, which is until he meets Lelouch, the boy who works at the local Barnes & Noble, and unfortunately a minor. _

_**Warnings:**__ Don't do them, so read at your own risk. _

_**Disclaimer:**__ Don't do them either but just for good measure I own nothing, but my stories ….duh. _

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><p>Minor vs. Major<p>

Major Suzaku Kururugi

3/29/2011 5:21 PM

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><p>Because he really hadn't wanted anything else, he had joined the military. Because he had always been good with physical things, he'd left on his first deployment before the rest of his barrack mates had even finished training. Because he had always been good at following orders to the upmost extreme, he had achieved one hundred percent with zero casualties on almost every assignment given. Because it didn't make sense for him to not accept his officer's promotion, he had accepted it. Because he didn't know what else to do, he'd simply saluted upon orders to serve another tour. Because he couldn't bring himself to leave that soldiers body in the cold mud, he now pinned that medal on before every formal event right next to the last four he'd been given. Because he couldn't come up with a better reason not to he had taken the command post. Because he hated every loss taken to his battalion, he had taken the vague job offer he'd turned down year after year after year. Because he hadn't been surprised at what it all entailed, he had passed his first mission with flying colors and simply washed the blood out of his uniform with care. Because he knew he'd never be anything better than he was as a killer, he'd excelled at what he did. Because he couldn't remember the last time he'd told someone no, he'd given a "yes, sir" and gone ahead with his next mission.<p>

But now—

He stood at the desk—his new desk. He hadn't been stupid. He –well he wasn't sure what he had been. Had there been a "because" when he had looked that solder in the eye and waited for the gunshot that never came he may not have had to stand there. His hands shook as they skirted over the small plaque at his finger tips. "Major Kuurugi" was printed across the front in basic font.

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><p>"You need to take some time off."<p>

His superior had sat at that same desk the day when Suzaku had been swore into that special unit. He was sure that the desk was a standard size, but it looked so much bigger with Bismarck's lumbered and broad form seated behind it that he was never sure. The same man didn't look up as he spoke to him. His tanned hand held a pen for which was quickly signing their way through the papers before him. Suzaku knew those papers, especially from the name of Suzaku Kururugi printed throughout the same said document.

"Weinberg said you didn't even flinch. That's a problem." He said it with irritation. Suzaku knew why, problems were hindrances, and a hindrance was unacceptable. "Take this job for a good year or so and after you get a hang of yourself I'll call you back."

Suzaku gave a solemn nod. He wasn't sure what else to do. He—what had he done that night? He couldn't think of it. He'd seen it coming and he hadn't even tried to stop it. But that was behind him, just like ever thing else. He just needed to move on now. It had been a minor insurrection, and now was simply something that needed to be forgotten.

"I will call you back." Bismarck assured as Suzaku's eyes fleeted up to find he was being looked at, directly. It wasn't a promise or an assurance as much as an informative.

"I understand sir." Suzaku said as he gave another sharp nod. He straightened unconsciously just a little, his hands clasped just a bit tighter behind his back, his feet squared just a bit more precise. He knew he was a good soldier, if nothing else, he knew he was a really good soldier. He also knew that Bismarck knew this, even if Suzaku was still ever ready to prove it yet again.

"Good." That stare of ice turned back down to the paper work placed on the desk. It weighed the room down as it ever bore witness to what was happening. It wasn't a demotion, but it was close enough to that that Suzaku despised his name upon it. His stomach churned at the thought. He wasn't unaccustomed to failure, he just simply was unaccustomed to it in the one thing he knew he could do very well. "Get over this quickly, Kururugi. I don't have time to let you be idle." Bismarck's voice rumbled over the words, forced Suzaku to listen, and forced him to recognize the unspoken order.

"Yes, sir." Suzaku said as he swallowed down the unneeded lump in his throat. He knew that Bismarck's words had been meant as nothing more than a command, but at the same moment there had been implications, of resignation, of disappointment.

Suzaku hated disappointment, at least when applied to him. He hated felling it for himself, and he hated it worse from other people. He hated it in high school when he'd gotten it over and over again as he'd asked yet again to have a grammatical, mathematical, or even a historical concept reiterated. He'd hated it when he'd turned his grades into his coaches for pregame checks. He hated it for every shot missed or bench time spent. He hated to see it in the eyes of his principle every time he ended up back before his desk, bloodied knuckles and no remorse, while he was informed of his opponent's condition. But mostly he hated it because over all it reminded him of one man, his father, and of all things he didn't want to be reminded of his father.

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><p>His eyes followed the lines of his new office from the book case, that held books he had never and probably would never read, to the decorative gun cabinet, which held every gun he'd ever had the privilege of firing and a few he wouldn't mind to get his hands on. He'd only had an office once before in his life when he'd been in charge of a command. Of course, then he'd been on active duty so he could have counted the amount of times he'd stepped into the office between his hands, and how many times he'd spent more than a minute or so with in that office on only one hand.<p>

However, he now sat at his desk and waited. For what he wasn't sure, he'd never had an office post, and he'd never wanted an office post. So he shifted forward, noticing the creak in the office chair, and leaned over the desk. He noticed his desk didn't have a creak when he leaned his weight on it. He shifted his weight within the chair and listened closely to that tell-tale creeeaaaakkkkk.

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><p>An hour later Suzaku sat on the floor of his office, the final screw in his hand. The rest of the pieces were scattered around him in order of dismantlement and the room was now bare of an office chair. He looked at the wooden piece in his hand before he scanned over the rest of them as well. He'd never tried to put a chair back together, but then again, he'd never tried to take one apart either. He knew how to take a lot of other things apart, most of which were explosive, but never a chair before.<p>

The door opened suddenly. He turned his head to look up at the guests, the screw still held up in his hands.

"Major?" The private stood at the door, his hand still at the knob, looking first to where the Major should have been then down to where the Major was. "…Major?" There was a bit more apprehension in his voice now.

"Yes?" Suzaku looked up at the private with a bland expression.

"Uhm," the private started as he seemed to try and remember what exactly he had gone there for. "Uh, Colonel Li Britannia, would like to know if you have made up your mind about the recruitment offer?"

"Recruitment?" Suzaku repeated. Suzaku hated recruitment assignments, almost more than his new office. He'd somehow found a way out of it when as a Warrant Officer he'd had been assigned it more than once. According to his superiors, he had a good way with people and a nice face to use for recruitment. He didn't know how they'd ever come to the conclusion after all he'd been proven really good at was killing people vs. talking it over with them. Then again, he knew he was good with people on a common everyday level. He was just fucked up enough to know that unless it was in the context of sex or the mundane he wouldn't be much of a persuader. He could already imagine some kid asking him "hey why did you join the military?" He was smart enough to know that an answer along the lines of, "I'm good at shooting people" wouldn't be age appropriate nor very kosher.

"Uhm yes." The private looked a little unsure of himself at this point.

"Well…" Suzaku weighed the possibility of good behavior getting him out of this office sooner and the distinct feeling of nausea at the mere thought of spending hours talking and smiling and acting like he really wanted to be there, when he didn't. In the end he figured getting on his new commanding officer's good side won out—mostly for the fact he wanted his old commanding officer back. "Yes, well tell her I'd be glad too." …begrudgingly, but for her with a smile!

"Excellent, Sir. I will inform her immediately." The Private said as he turned to leave.

"Private," Suzaku stood, retrieving his uniform jacket from the desk.

The Private stopped in his tracks and looked back, alert and ready for orders. "Sir?"

Suzaku pulled his arm into the first sleeve before pushing his other through the oposite. "Do you know where I could possibly get a good cup of coffee?" Not that he needed it, but hated his office—a lot.

"Well, sir, there is a Barnes & Noble down the street."

Suzaku stopped for a moment to think. He was pretty sure he had asked for a _good _cup of coffee. "Is there anything else?" he added in a small smile as not to make the Private seem inadequate.

"Uhm, well let's see, most coffee places are farther downtown, but I think there's possibly a Denny's nearby."

Barnes & Noble it is!

"Or actually the cafeteria on base here serves coffee!"

He was definitely sticking to Barnes & Noble.

"Thank you, Private." Suzaku said, he plastered the smile over his face as he reached for his wallet and keys he'd placed within his desk drawer. "You've been helpful."

"Of course, Sir!" the private beamed before departing.

Suzaku gave a sigh before he looked back at the chair…or at least what used to be the chair. He wasn't sure if he should try and pick up a new chair or not. After a minute he wagered that he was indeed going to a book store, and a "how-to" book was much cheaper than a chair.

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><p>Finding the Barnes and Noble was the easy part, finding a book on how to fix an office chair hadn't been. Finally after traveling a third time down the same isle, he decided to go for the coffee instead. Now he found himself standing in line before the counter and one of the most extensive menus he'd ever seen, in a Barnes and Noble or any other kind of café. The man in front of him chattered on to the girl at the counter without any signs of stopping, which suited Suzaku fine since he really had no clue what he even planned on ordering. Choice overload was never something he did well with. The man in front of him moved away a moment later, without much notice from Suzaku.<p>

"I'm going on break. Take over the register for me, Lelouch." The girl chimed, still much to Suzaku's oblivious nature.

It was a short moment, but Suzaku was still lost, looking up at the menu. Where the hell was just regular coffee? He didn't really even have a preference to brand, just a little cream and he was always fine with it.

"Having trouble, soldier?" a deep and low voice asked.

"Oh," Suzaku realized he was up and he still didn't know what he wanted. He gave a chuckle as he looked down. "Do you guys have just coffee at all?"

The teller was leaned over on to the high counter lazily, his deep amethyst hued eyes hooded. At the comment, his eyes sprang to life and a smile broke through the bored expression.

Suzaku couldn't help but smile back as the dark haired boy sat up and faced him, with such a great smile Suzaku didn't have a choice in the matter.

"I'd imagine you could have just gotten that on base, am I right?" The boy said. It was presented as a question but had a hint of statement of fact behind it. Regardless, deep violet eyes sparked with amusement and he stood properly to face the conversation a half a second later.

"I probably could have." Suzaku reasoned with a shrug of his shoulders.

"But clearly didn't?" The boy continued for him. "Is there a reason behind that?"

Suzaku couldn't help the smile that stretched across his lips now. He knew this game, it'd been a while since he'd played, but he was pretty sure he was still just as good at it. And if memory served him correctly, at one point in time he was more than good at it. Not in the same way that he was good at his job. His job was conditions(his broad body type coupled with fast reflexes and hand eye coordination) meeting more conditioning(that would be his ability to attract fights rather than avoid them), training(and a lot of it), and expectation(of his superiors and himself). This, on the other hand, was entirely natural. In high school, he'd discovered it first with the girls around his age, when he was looking for friendship. Then with the college girls he'd met on accident. Then, the most enjoyably, was with some of the other recruits. It had started out as need and basic depravity, but after a few times, Suzaku had realized how partial he was to seeing another male writhe under him. After that, of course, his job had become his sole ambition and constant endeavor. Not that sex had become something of lesser need, it was just that he no longer had a use for it, and really in the middle of an attack the ability to pull a sweet smile and a charming statement out of thin air didn't count for much.

But he wasn't anywhere near a warzone now. So he let the smile linger on his face a moment longer before he answered. "I really don't like my office." He said it off handish, but vague enough to hopefully spark inquiry.

"An office, huh?" The man said, a rather sharp flash of interest crossed his eyes. "Are you an officer yourself?"

Suzaku gave another bright smile. "Yeah, something along those lines," He knew saying "yeah, I'm only twenty four and already a major," had too much shock value to be profitable, let alone the fact that he hated to brag, about anything.

"Hmmm," the young man hummed. "So just a single then?" he snapped back to the register.

Suzaku smiled and gave a nod. The end of their conversation had ended a bit sooner for Suzaku's taste but it wasn't like he didn't still have ample opportunity, and if not today he still knew where to find the boy.

A smile was given to Suzaku under raven strands as the boy pushed the order into the machine before looking up again. "That will be dollar eighty six."

"Right," Suzaku said as he reached for his wallet. His eyes barely left deep amethyst.

The boy opened his mouth to speak again to only close it with an abrupt cut off.

"Hey-" the abrupt cut off of not only the boy but of the new voice, immediately called for the snap of Suzaku's head to the side. Suzaku wanted to strangle someone at that point. Before him stood two privates, one of which was being elbowed in the gut and the other caught mid-salute.

"Major!" the respectful one hollered as his went stiff as a board, and salute as equally tale tell. The other quickly composed himself and pulled into the same position. They were new recruits—and Suzaku wanted to kill them both.

"Major?" Suzaku's eyes pulled to the boy. There was confusion for the slightest second, then, something he really didn't like, resignation. Suzaku wanted to bang his head against the counter. Now it looked like he had lied to the boy and they'd just met and he hated the new recruits and he knew it would take a lot of fixing to get things back to a comfortable friendliness, let alone a real shot again. A small voice in his head pointed out that it was probably a good thing he didn't have a gun on him, because if so the two recruits would have been bleeding out on the floor while he looked up, smiled bright, and asked the boy to dinner.

He shifted his eyes back to the recruits; they after all were making a scene, which was the last thing he needed. "We're off base privates, no need for formalities."

"Yes sir!" the two gave an agonizing shout to add to injury.

He turned his head back to fully look at the boy at the register. He had a completely different demeanor now, and Suzaku wanted a gun for it. His posture had turned defensive, but not overly, like Suzaku was a stranger and nothing like he'd been just moments before. Amethyst eyes were on the register, his lips in a hard line, and his raven hair cast a shadow over his forehead.

Damn it! Now the boy thought Suzaku was a liar at the best and at the worst a manwhore if the base here had any reputation connected to it. He didn't know that for sure yet, but he could have a good guess that this is where a lot of soldiers came through for one thing or another, and almost every soldier was eager for some form of contact, not all very honest or honorable. Ergo, Suzaku now looked like a lying manwhore…great—why the hell did he leave his gun in his blasted awful office!

Nevertheless, he'd have to attempt a comeback later. The boy was far too defensive right now and he'd thoroughly blow first impressions at this point. He would consider giving up completely, but the boy was very attractive and Suzaku very much liked his sharp wit. The point was that the boy was too much of what he liked to pass up easily. But he'd have to work on this another day, when the cards were in his favor, and the impression of lying scum, whore, conman wasn't so vivid in the boy's mind.

Now he simply handed over his visa and waited patiently as his card was swiped and he signed the receipt. Behind him, the recruits had broken into their own comfortable conversation, but the stillness between Suzaku and the boy hadn't been ruptured.

That didn't stop Suzaku from noticing the long elegant fingers that took the receipt back, or the brush of dark lashes when he looked down at the signature before tucking it into the till.

"Thank you," The boy said in a much more reserved tone. His face was kept emotionless, his eyes no longer made contact, jaw set in a defiant sort of way. Yes, it would have to be much later before Suzaku was allowed a second chance.

But that didn't mean he had to deepen the bad impression. "You're Welcome."

Amethyst flashed up and Suzaku smiled as eye contact was made. It wasn't a huge smile, one just big enough to be considered friendly.

He didn't get a smile back. It was clearly a warning, not a glare, the brow wasn't low enough for that, but it was still a very clear warning. And Suzaku took it quickly picking up his order number and turning away. A minute later a girl behind the coffee machine handed Suzaku his cup and he gave a smile as he noticed that the boy was for sure glaring as he helped the new recruits. Maybe it wouldn't take as much as he thought to get back to square one.

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><p>His opportunity came sooner than he'd expected it too. After scouring the rows he'd found a book, he wasn't sure if it would be very helpful but if not he a. made more money than he ever managed to use(most of the time he was never in the country so paying for things like rent, car payment, or insurance were all unneeded. Overall, it seemed like most of his money went to uniform replacements and first aid kits) and b. he always knew he'd end up returning it anyway (it after all was a useless a book, besides he hardly ever was in possession of an apartment let alone a bookcase to put the book in). He took a sip at his coffee as he looked the book over one last time and started his way to the register. He stopped as he did.<p>

A grin formed as he looked across the store to the small open area used for the café, several booths and tables dotted the place. What caught his eyes through the filled tables was one table with only one occupant. He wagered quickly the possibility of just leaving without another word, but if he wanted a more welcoming situation he wasn't sure he was going to get it.

So he took the last swallow of coffee, for good measure and weaved his way over to the raven haired boy. He sat alone at the table, but perfectly content, with a book open in front of him and a fork in his hand as he picked at a small Tupperware bowl of pasta.

"Are you reading out of convenience for the fact you work in a book store, or is it convenient that you like to read and work in a bookstore?" Suzaku asked as he approached.

Amethyst eyes looked up for a moment, and for that same moment Suzaku dreaded the look in those deep hued eyes. Then lenience sparked and, though without a smile, he answered. "I like to read, and it is convenient that I work in a book store, but regardless this isn't exactly a pleasant read."

Suzaku's could feel his brow furrow. To him almost nothing was exactly a pleasant read. Sunday football(playing or watching, but more so with the playing) was pleasant, swimming was pleasant, early morning hiking was pleasant, even a particularly brutal hockey game was amazingly more pleasant than sitting down to read, especially if it was good weather outside.

"I'm studying," A smile broke this time and Suzaku was thankful, for the smile and the explanation.

Suzaku took it as an invitation also, set his book on the table, and seated himself, intentionally, on the opposite side of the table. "What are you studying for?" He inquired.

He'd been warranted another smile. These smiles were different now, much more reserved and carful than the first. "I have ACT's coming up soon."

Suzaku grinned at that, college age, perfect. He'd be considered college age himself if not for his chosen profession. He knew a lot of recruits that joined the army for college specifically; he'd just never had the want or the need. He was very good at what he did after all.

"Is this your first time taking it?"He asked trying to keep the conversation up. He had never been much for the academics but if it was a means to an end he could skim over the topic with enough vigor to hopefully get him to a more engaging subject.

"No." The boy answered. Suzaku knew his smile grew just a little. The boy was possibly closer to his age than he'd earlier hopped.

"Have you taken it?" The boy asked. Even better, Suzaku thought, it was the boys turn to keep up the conversation now.

He shook his head. After all he'd already been portrayed as a liar, anymore lies could be detrimental, and in his defense he never lied the first time, he just didn't tell the whole truth. The thought hit him and he gave another shake of his head.

"I'm a Major, why would I need to?" That's it he told himself, admit up to it, and you could possibly be forgiven easily.

Or not…the boys face dropped. "I was informed of that." he said rather dry.

Suzaku sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to not tell you."

"Why?" the question was very firmly placed, decided already that the boy wanted a completely honest answer. Through those amethyst eyes, Suzaku could see a kind of commanding nature—he wasn't sure how he felt about it either.

"Did you expect me to introduce myself as Major Kururugi?" Suzaku said trying to sound amused more than anything.

"I specifically asked you your rank." The boy answered, with no amusement at all.

"In my defense, you asked if I was an officer, which a Major is an officer rank, and also—"he pointed to the golden oak leaf metal at his uniform. A smile crept back into his lips.

The boy gave a sigh. "Whom."

Suzaku let his hand back down to the table as he looked at the boy, "whom what?"

"Whom a Major is of an officers rank. You used the wrong word." The boy said as he let out a small chuckle. "And I should have seen the insignia, you're right."

Suzaku wasn't sure if he understood the grammar part but he understood a chuckle and admittance. "Well thank you then! Though if you had recognized it I would have been very impressed."

The boy gave a bit wider smile this time. "You said your last name is Kururugi? Are you—" he trailed off.

"Second generation Japanese," Suzaku finished for him.

"Aw." The boy breathed. Suzaku couldn't help the slight smile it sparked, the other man managed elegance so easily. "And your first name?"

"Suzaku."

A long thin lipped smile stretched, a sincere one this time, and the boy put down the fork to extend his hand across the table. "Lelouch."

Suzaku gave in return a particularly warm smile as he lifted his hand. He changed his mind almost immediately as he was about to shake, instead he slid his fingers under Lelouch's long pale digits to hold his fingers and run his thumb over the slight boney knuckles. It was, after all, better to make an impression than just something other wise generic. He heard as Lelouch's breath caught in his throat, and Suzaku eyes flickering to his reaction. He gave good reaction to surprises, good to know for further reference. Amethyst eyes were focused on their hands for just a moment longer before they adjusted upwards and Suzaku was quick to make eye contact. Pale lips pressed together, Suzaku wasn't sure how to read into the actions, but from what he could tell it wasn't something bad. Nervous most likely, anxious (oh god he could only hope), surprised a possibility, but it was most certainly not a glare and he in no way looked scared of him.

Lelouch's—Suzaku already loved that name—eyes fleeted down to the book, and he pulled his hand from Suzaku's loose hold.

"Black and Decker Complete Photo Guide to Home Repair," He read the title aloud. "You bought a house or something?"

Suzaku laughed. "No, I took apart my office chair."

Lelouch gave a light hearted chuckle as well. "On purpose?"

"Yeah," Suzaku continued to chuckle. "Well taking it apart proved easier than putting it back together." He lifted his arm to scratch the back of his head with a sheepish grin.

"I'd imagine." Lelouch leaned forward, his arm rested on the table and he tucked his chin into his palm all with a fluid motion. "Why were you ever taking it apart in the first place?"

"It had a squeak." He explained. "It was annoying and I wanted to fix it so… well I didn't quite manage that."

Lelouch gave a wide smile and another breath of chuckles. "So you figured you could fix it with a book?"

"Well, I wanted coffee too, and a book is cheaper than a new chair." He held up the book he picked for further inspection. "And it's even a picture guide as well, so maybe it will be double the help."

"I doubt that book will help you much." Lelouch said like he was trying to make it a light letdown.

Suzaku started to flip through it. "I don't know…it looks pretty comprehensive."

Pale fingers spidered over the edge and pulled the book down to the table top. Suzaku gave a smile to amethyst eyes. "It's a home repair guide." The owner of those same eyes explained.

"And I broke something, so it should tell me how to fix it." Suzaku reiterated.

"You took it apart an office chair, correct?"

Suzaku looked up from the book. "Well yeah." His face was blank, because his mind was black. He'd already told Lelouch that's what he did. He'd laughed about it, then Lelouch had laughed about it, then they had switched subjects to the book. Maybe Suzaku wasn't as good at this as he used to be…

"So it's like a puzzle." Lelouch said as his brow lowered a fraction of an inch and a smile Suzaku couldn't quite place stretched on to his lips. "All you have to do now is put it back together."

"I'm not very good with puzzles." Suzaku said trying to sound a little less lost than he really was. He gave an inward sigh, and they had started out so strong. He wasn't even sure where he had muffed it up at.

Lelouch's smile widened just a touch. "But I am."

Suzaku couldn't help the bright exuberant smile that came next as he leaned across the table farther. "How long till you're off?"

Lelouch stood fluidly and flipped the study guide shut as he did all with the same distinct smile. "I'm off now." He shut the Tupperware, the pasta still half eaten, and slipped it into the messenger bag Suzaku hadn't noticed was hanging off of his chair.

Suzaku stood as well. He wasn't sure what to say so he didn't say anything. It was in Lelouch's ball park now. Not that he wasn't ecstatic that Lelouch wanted to come and help him, but at the same time, this was going a lot faster than Suzaku ever planned. He'd thought that he might talk to him for a while, they could get friendly, then tomorrow he'd come back get coffee around the same time and flirt again as he paid, he'd possibly let their hands touch as he handed him his card and they'd get closer and that would be that. Possibly by Thursday he could score a number, then a day or two later a date. But apparently Lelouch had decided to skip all that and they were going to fix his chair, now, like a weird almost date—right now.

Lelouch pulled the light jacket on with the messenger bag over one shoulder. Suzaku picked up the book on the table to only have it slipped from his hand as Lelouch walked past. Lelouch discarded it on a random table of books, one of a completely different subject than home improvement by the way, and Suzaku followed him to the doors.

As Suzaku slipped his arm to hold the door open and Lelouch gave an abrupt stop. Suzaku mentally wanted to kick himself. He always did that. He had trouble keeping girls and boys straight, especially the fact that one appreciated it when he did things like held the door and the other didn't. Why couldn't they both just like the same things! He stopped, grimaced, and waited for a scolding.

Lelouch didn't turn just leaned back with a slight twist of his hips and turned his head to the side. "Are civilians allowed on base?"

Suzaku had to think for a moment before he could pull an answer out. He wasn't sure if he should still expect a scolding or not but he did know if he didn't answer that would warrant one for sure. "Uhm, yes, well you're allowed in my office at the least."

"Aw." He said and leaned forward. "And thank you, for the door that is."

Suzaku smiled. He had a feeling they were going to get along just fine.

* * *

><p>"I thought you said you were bad at puzzles." Lelouch said as he laughed. He leaned against the desk drawers while Suzaku sat against the wall opposite to him, a half made chair in front of him.<p>

"Well after elbowing you I feel obligated to be the one that fixes." He said. A screw driver was in hand as he twisted another screw into place.

"If you hadn't have stopped me when you did!"

Suzaku looked up. "You were putting the arm rests on the bottom."

"No." Lelouch said, "I was redesigning." he made sure to make it a point.

Suzaku gave a smile. This endeavor, at first, had seemed a little weird and possibly a bad idea, but now—well it had turned into an adventure very quickly. He learned a lot, about Lelouch and his office, in the process as well. One of them had just been reiterated to him. Lelouch never liked to be told he was wrong, or bad, at something. Teasing was fine, to a point, but Suzaku doubted that any real accusation would go over well.

"You told me you were good at puzzles." Suzaku said.

"I am and home improvement, which is what that was."

Suzaku threw him a look. "Because when I sit down at my desk I want to be able to know I have arm rests they just face the wrong direction."

"Its modern!" Lelouch shot back. "You're a Major; you need to be on the cutting edge of fashion."

"What part of this office really looks modern?"

"You told me you've been here for a day and a half." Lelouch reasoned with him as he lulled his head against the wood to capture him in those amethyst eyes. "You just haven't had time to bring it up to speed."

"I should have stuck with the book." Suzaku mumbled as he moved on to the next screw.

A well earned kick in the shin made him almost drop the screw driver.

"Ow!" Suzaku said.

Lelouch gave him a pointed glare. There was a conveyed and effective, "I'm so much better than any book and you better remember that," though the glare. But within a few moments the glare was gone and his eyes roamed to the window above Suzaku's head. Suzaku glanced up from his work. Mostly for the fact he enjoyed the view, but also because of the silence. It wasn't awkward but enough that Suzaku had wondered what Lelouch was occupied with.

Lelouch didn't look down as he spoke in a mellow, even tone. "It's a lot later than I thought it was."

Abruptly Suzaku noticed as well. He looked around his office, the fact of the dimming light and soft tones draining all color from the room making it clearer. How had it gotten so late?

"Wow," he breathed, before he let a chuckle slip. "Everyone else has probably already gone home."

Lelouch hummed a reply.

Suzaku finished up with the particular screw and set the half chair—thing aside. In pointing out the time, Lelouch had signaled that it possibly was about time he headed home. If nothing else, he wanted to not have a chair between them for a final conversation.

"How did you become a Major?"

Suzaku froze his eyes darted to the floor and he felt his breath still. This was an unexpected question, but even more, this wasn't a good question. A question he wasn't supped to have gotten for a very long time, let alone had to answer for longer, if he could manage to stall long enough. Then again, Lelouch didn't seem normal. He should have foreseen something along these lines, but he didn't and now he was left with deflection.

"I worked my way through the ranks, just like anyone else."

A delicate eyebrow arched. "You've worked your way through the ranks at your age?"

Suzaku gave a wide smile as he stood. He knew that at this point he had sent his own message with the action, but this subject needed to be killed quickly. He offered his hand down to Lelouch.

His raven hair splayed across his forehead, only added to the dimming colors of the room, and two bright amethyst stone eyes peered up, still looking for an answer that wouldn't come anytime soon. Suzaku offered his hand closer. Lelouch had flicked his eyes to it before going back up to Suzaku. Answer first apparently.

"You really don't even know how old I am." Suzaku pointed out.

Lelouch stretched a smile. "That wasn't an answer, Suzaku."

"We've just met." Suzaku explained as he gave a look to the clock. Eight fifteen was a lot later than he'd expected to keep Lelouch. He didn't like the thought. If they stayed together for much longer it could dip into something Suzaku wasn't interested in…at least, not at this point. He knew if they had sex tonight, tomorrow he wouldn't call him and he wouldn't go back to the bookstore to get coffee there again anytime soon. He just knew it, he'd done it before, several times, and he knew how it worked. He had at least a year here, and because of that he didn't want this to be a one nighter. He wanted casual yes, but not a fling. If nothing else while here he could enjoy companionship.

"Alright, I concede, but I want an answer at some point." Lelouch said with a huff.

Suzaku smiled at that. It implied there would be at the least a second meeting. He offered his hand closer for a final time. He was pleased as he felt Lelouch's long hand thread over his fingers. Once he had a good grasp he pulled and lifted the boy to his feet.

Suzaku imagined the gesture and motion being rather chivalrous and, if he dared say it, elegant, until Lelouch tried to stand. A fumble of feet had ensued and within that same moment Suzaku realized he was apparently the only coordinated one and caught Lelouch's weight before he pulled him to a stable stance. What he didn't notice was that in the process he had pulled the boy to him as well. So upon looking up, he was met with wide deep violet eyes. Suzaku recognized the look immediately He'd gotten it earlier that day at the book store when he'd touched Lelouch's hand.

This was indeed the same look, concentrated into deep violet, but it was so much more intense this time. There was nervousness, for sure, and anxiousness, but this time there was fear, just enough of it though that it drew Suzaku in farther. He leaned forward his hand slid up from the small of Lelouch's back. They shared breath for a moment. Suzaku could feel his eyes on instinct start to hood. He felt Lelouch's fingers fidget at his shoulders and he forced his own eyes open. The boy's breath had already hitched, his fingers dug into his sleeves, and his eyes were still very wide. Suzaku forced himself to slowly pull his hand up to cup around Lelouch's neck with painstaking slowness. He debated for a moment longer. He could have stopped here and there would be minimal consequences. He wasn't sure what Lelouch was afraid of, but he didn't want to make it worse. They had tomorrow, possibly even the rest of the week. They didn't need to rush this quite yet.

He didn't have time to pull away though as Lelouch ground his fingers into his sleeve and lurched forward to crash their mouths together. Suzaku let out a rather undignified and unpracticed yelp as he was forced to yet again catch the uncoordinated boy before he pitched them both to the ground. He didn't even have time to close his eyes, because of which he caught a glimpse of eyes squeezed shut before he slipped his own shut—kissing with eyes open was after all just weird as fuck. He pulled the boy closer and started to move. He was surprised that the most pleasant parts of the kiss weren't actually of the kiss itself. He loved Lelouch's hands, one at his collar, still fidgety but pleasantly stroking at the skin just under his throat and playing at the button there as well. His other arm had gone around Suzaku's shoulders, his long fingers fisted in his shirt there. He adored the way he pressed the side of his nose next to Suzaku's own. His shoulders, probably the most pleasant, would go from relaxed to strained very quickly as Suzaku pressed the kiss harder. Lelouch took a step closer his hips brushed forward and Suzaku's eyes shot wide.

He broke the kiss with a jolt and forced the boy a few inches from him. Upon retrospection, Suzaku would have scolded his actions. The boy was very slight and completely opposite to Suzaku in almost every way, which didn't give Suzaku right to push Lelouch around, especially for the fact he had a hunch that Lelouch wouldn't appreciate it very much. But this wasn't retrospect, so at that moment Suzaku just stopped their actions from progressing any farther than necessary. The last thing he needed was to have to farther clean his already drastically destroyed office.

He felt Lelouch's breath at his cheek before he ever heard the words. "I have to go, I have somewhere to be."

Suzaku gave a hazy nod. He repeated the line in his head several times; the boy was right after all. He did have to leave, and Suzaku was far too on edge at the moment to be this close to him. "Alright," he spoke soft and went to turn to the door.

"Wait," Lelouch hand stopped him, his pale fingers at his arm.

Suzaku moved his eyes to meet Lelouch's. His hands still at Lelouch's hips tightened just enough he knew but he prayed Lelouch didn't notice. He'd didn't need the boy to think he was already exhibiting signs of possessiveness. He quickly pushed that thought away as well. Thoughts of possession led to actually possession. He didn't need that. He needed to keep things together, but casual, and easily left behind when that is what would be required of him.

"Hang on." Lelouch breathed before twisting he managed to keep Suzaku's hold on him but enough he could reach the desk next to them. His fingers scrambled their way around for a moment before he turned back with a post it (Suzaku wasn't sure where came from) and a pen (Suzaku knew exactly where came from—it had been free). Lelouch scrawled something down quickly before he presented the paper a moment later to Suzaku.

Suzaku looked down at it and as reluctant as he was to let go of Lelouch he did to take the Post-It.

"Text me tomorrow." Lelouch said.

Suzaku gave a nod. "I will." It was a promise. He made a point that he'd have to remember to go get a phone in the morning. The thought crossed that he had a very old cell phone he left in Taiwan—they'd finally gotten a hold of him about it three countries later.

"I have to leave." Lelouch said again.

"Alright." Suzaku release him but kept a hand at the small of Lelouch's back as he reached across the desk to the messengers bag.

"Thank you," the small murmur was pressed into a small kiss Lelouch gave Suzaku before he let Suzaku open the door and left.

Upon his departure, Suzaku gave a sigh and turned back to his office. It was a mess from floor to ceiling. They had started with the chair and ended with it as well. Between then everything from a critique of book selection to a demonstration on how to take a rifle apart had taken place until they had just parted after all things as a kiss, and not a normal kiss either. Suzaku had to lean against his desk at that thought. Damn that boy was good at kissing, nervous, but really good at it. He wasn't sure how long either of them would be able to hold out for sex.

* * *

><p>"Lelouch! Lelouch!" Rivals called out and waved enthusiastically over to Lelouch.<p>

Lelouch finished the button at his Ashford uniform as he started over to his friend. He had in no way meant to spend that much time with Suzaku, but after he'd been in his presence it had been hard to talk himself into leaving. Overall, his goal had been achieved. He had a lot riding on this including his reputation. He would have to find a way to get what he wanted without having Suzaku find out exactly who he was. The small moments had been easy to hide; it was the long run that he'd have to do some serious work for.

"Hey man! What has been up? I've been trying to text you for the past hour, you said you got off of work at four and Shirley and Milly wanted to go to the mall so I was going to invite you to come too." Rivals drawled on as Lelouch passed him on his way to the elevators. They had a match to make, which meant no time to dawdle in the lobby over something so mundane. Besides Rivals never shut up regardless.

Nevertheless, Rivals words shocked Lelouch back into the world he belonged to. After spending the afternoon with someone who hadn't spent an afternoon at the mall in probably years it was a shock to have to come back to earth and realize it was what he had done just a few days ago.

Rivals followed him and they both stepped into the elevator compartment. "So?" he pressed.

"So what?" Lelouch asked as he turned to shoot Rivals a casual oblivious look. The last thing he needed was for this one to find out what he was up to.

"So where have you been all afternoon? You know Shirley has it for you bad." Rivals whined.

Lelouch checked his uniform again. The uniform was important, the older he looked the harder the win would be, he loved it when he was underestimated enough to get a five minute win, and he wanted to get this over quickly, he still had to get home in time to call and asked if he could pull another shift tomorrow at the same time. He knew that being at the café tomorrow would be needed just in case Suzaku decided he wanted to see him again.

"I mean really if you ever want to get a lay out of that girl you got to step up your game!" Apparently Rivals had just kept going even without Lelouch's attention.

"I'm not that into Shirley." Lelouch said rather dry. "And what's the big deal? what does it matter where I was?"

Rivals gave him an incredulous look. "You weren't with another girl, were you? Cause seriously man, you need to start telling your homies about this. It wasn't Kallen was it?"

Lelouch gave a sigh. If he didn't answer him, Rivals would be spreading rumors he didn't want spread. Then those rumors would reach Shirley and he'd have to deal with a weepy needy girl everyday for the next four days at school and possibly even the weekend if he got rounded up into the Student Council trip.

"I was at the base."

"Wo, what?" Rivals did a double take. "You mean the Military base?"

The elevator dinged and Lelouch stepped forward to exit. "Is there another kind of base in the city?"

"What in heaven's name were you doing at the military base?" Rival yelled.

Lelouch gave a roll of his eyes as he continued thorough thick crowd to the back rooms, where his match was to be held. He knew he'd have to answer though and a right at that moment a lie just didn't seem appropriate.

"I was working on a lay." He called back just before he opened the door and Rivals knew conversation was over from the glare Lelouch placed back at him as they entered.

* * *

><p><em>Note for this Chapter:<em>

_Black and Decker Complete Photo Guide to Home Repair, is a real book, and is available for $23.33 on the Barnes and Noble Website. Not that I actually think you're reading this for home repair guides, but if so there ya go! _

_I wrote, edited, and reread this chapter several times in three days(I don't know if I should be filling for insanity and stupidity or if I should be claiming my bragging rights, my vote is for the first, though I will take advantage of the second) on a whim and am now posting it. I'm sorry if it comes out as crap…I wanted to write something a little more fun than Amethyst King and something that requires a little less homework than Curse of Fayte and this is what emerged. Its lighter and I hope interesting because I was intrigued when writing it. _

_I realize that this Suzaku is—a bit cocky and a lot more confident, don't worry he's still Suzaku and this isn't completely OOC but I will admit this one isn't so much of a kid, probably because he's in his twenties so I just took the Suzaku from canon and tried to think what he would be like aged and if he'd gone farther in the Military without Lelouch's interference. _

_~Review they make me feel whimsical!~_


	2. Can't get You off My Mind

Special Thanks:** rebirth-flame,****Minute-Maid511,****elspethie,****LittleBlackRaven,****Miriam,****.line,****luckless-is-me,****XXImakeusmilEXX,****Cor,****jadedfox2,****801-chan,****my name is paper YAH,**

* * *

><p>Minor vs. Major<p>

Chapter 2

Can't get you off My Mind

5/28/2011 4:50 PM

* * *

><p>Because it was a dream, he couldn't just run. Because it was a dream, he was forced to stay, to stand, to watch. Because it was a dream, he was just as disgusted with his actions as he had been in life. Because it was a dream, and one he'd had often enough over the past few weeks, he knew there was no fighting it. Because he knew it by heart now, he knew the blood at his sleeves wasn't real and that the bodies at his feet weren't really reaching for him, but that didn't stop the revulsion, and he doubted it ever would.<p>

* * *

><p>He woke with nothing but a pair of sweats on his legs. The cold air wasn't what shocked him awake as he found himself sitting up, staring at the blank opposite wall of his new apartment. He calmed his breathing before looking around the room. The only thing within it was the blow up mattress he had borrowed from the base store-house (he'd found out in the process they had the most random shit there) and the military issue duffle bag thrown into the corner. He rolled to the side, hands fiddling to find the old pocket watch he'd left with his wallet and keys on the floor. The time was four fifty seven and from the lack of light in the room his guess was that was in the am hours. He lay back with a sigh. He didn't have to be at work till eight, several long hours away.<p>

He lulled his head to the closet door was open to reveal his uniform hanging up. He only owned one because before this time all he ever needed was one. Under that in a black duffle bag, not the standard military issue, was what he was used to wearing. Primarily the cloths he would wear were black tight fitting and easy to move in, the body armor was engineered the same way. Really it just came down to being as efficient as possible. He rarely had to be even covert, that was the CIA's job after all, but he was prepared nonetheless. He smiled at the thought, Gino had always laughed at the idea of the CIA. As much as the two separate entities hated each other, they worked together a lot, and it was no secret that if one of them did get discharged the CIA would have several job offers awaiting, followed quickly by FBI-but really they were respectable for the most part, and actually open with their affairs, where's the fun in that?

Suzaku stared up at the white washed ceiling. Bismarck had made it clear he didn't want Suzaku applying for a retirement, and Suzaku made it clear that he wouldn't be. That didn't mean thought about what would happen if he'd gotten a discharge instead. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, regardless if it was an honorable one or not. He guessed that he'd probably take a job offer from another government organization, but at the same time, he didn't really want to work anywhere but in the Army.

He gave a sigh before he pulled himself up to stand. He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't had to sleep in an outfit he could be ready for anything for, so upon arrival home (he wasn't sure if that was the right term even. He was American so he guessed he could call the states the closest he had to a home), he'd tried to think what a normal person wore to sleep in on an average night. That had turned up empty so he tried to think what he used to wear. In high school, it had been nothing but a pair of boxers. The idea had been intriguing, but he liked to think he'd moved on from that point, so he'd found the pair of sweat pants buried deep in his duffle bag and gone to bed, not a huge improvement, but still was an improvement nonetheless.

He was running into that problem a lot over the last three days. The very first had been with the apartment. He had been offered military housing, but turned it down. The housing itself was always very nice, but there he always ran into the married men (with or without children, overall most with) or the recruits in college or just—not people like him. He preferred off base as odd as it was to say or think for someone's whose life consisted of the military.

He ambled his way into the kitchen as he brought a hand up to his head. It was way too early for this kind of behavior and he'd gotten too little sleep between moving what little he had in and the ever new incoming dreams. He found his way to the refrigerator and opened it only to remember he didn't actually own any food. He gave a sigh and shut the fridge. The mail he'd thrown on the counter the night before stared back up at him. With another drawn out sigh of exhaustion, he reached for it. The first was a little bit of a relief, from the storage room he rented—he couldn't even remember where-they had gotten his request for his stuff, all three boxes of it and were sending it over. The next was from Gino, a smile crept on for that, complete with a picture of the tall smiling man and himself. On the other side of a Russian postcard was a short, 'The new guys no fun and you owe me a beer when you get back for the whole mess.' He looked to see a couple of bare plain magnets on the fridge and posted the postcard, letter, and picture up there. A heavy weighted paper envelope next contained a letter of thanks for accepting the post, signed by Lieutenant Colonel Cornelia Li Britannia. He tossed it back on the counter. He stopped at the last letter. The post mark date was from two weeks prior—when he'd been given his official notice of transfer—and the address was to the base. He pursed his lips athe return address.

He left the letter there on the counter untouched, unopened, no desire to read it.

Instead he took one last look to the silver pocket watch for the time and went into his room to find some gym cloths. It would only take a minute to dig his laptop out from the bottom of the closet with the rest of his equipment and Google a 24-Hour Fitness Gym nearby.

* * *

><p>He wasn't sure whether or not if it was because he was bisexual that he tore through his closet and found absolutely nothing to wear while in want of something nicer to wear. He knew it was because he was in the army that there was indeed nothing for him to wear, but that was an entirely different story all together.<p>

So in the end he'd had to settle for a dark navy button up and a pair of slacks. Thankfully he still owned a nice vest, Suzaku was sure belonged to a very nice suit—though the suit was unaccounted for—he slipped the black vest on and buttoned it, hoping it made him look a bit classier. Mostly it instilled the want for a tie, which he didn't' have unless it was in beige or army green, both of which went to well his uniform.

Suzaku wasn't sure exactly how Lelouch preferred anything from how Suzaku dressed to the place to eat. In the end, Suzaku had just decided that just picking someplace and taking Lelouch there would be the best option. Basically the same way he'd just worn whatever he could find and hoped Lelouch would like it on him. Besides it wasn't like this was their first meeting or his first date or anything. The night before had gone more than accordingly and he'd even gotten a kiss out of it.

Suzaku stopped at that, hands frozen as they reached for the wallet on the dresser.

Sex wasn't far off in either of their minds and he knew it.

As he shook the thoughts away, looked up to the mirror before him, and finished with the vest and checking himself in the mirror ever three seconds. But he ran a comb through his unruly hair in hopes—and failed hopes—that they could somehow magically control the unruliness into a more suitable look. He'd never actually been a big fan of the military cut, and because of it when it was no longer required of him he didn't have it.

But Suzaku had always been clean shaven so as he glanced back into the mirror, sighed, and trudging into his bathroom to find his razor.

Fifteen minutes later, smelling of after shave, having checked himself in the mirror aging, fretted over the prospects of sex for another minute and a half, changed his shirt, deciding he didn't like the new pick and changed back to his original shirt, checked his reflection again and finally made it tin to the kitchen.

As he glanced at the clock on the stove he at first didn't realize shrugging it off as he looked for his apartment keys. The second glance though made him sputter a few swear words and he left quickly—only to return before the door had clicked shut to try and find his cell phone. Once out the door, with everything he'd ever need and looking as well mannered and pristine a he could get himself, he came to the conclusion that civilian life was hard.

* * *

><p>Suzaku thanked the cab driver as he got out on to the sidewalk. Once out of the car, Suzaku stopped surveying his surroundings for a moment, shoving his hands in his pockets and neck craning.<p>

When Suzaku spotted him, he almost wasn't sure it was the right person. He looked so–scrawny wasn't the right word and yet small wasn't either—vulnerable was the closest he figured he could get. It was strange and yet it wasn't, like he'd seen Lelouch like this before, though Suzaku hadn't the slightest idea where the idea of that had even come from. Then the light, well a light, spilled out from the alley way, immediately illuminating the edges around the other mans form, and Suzaku knew exactly where he'd gotten that impression from.

He stopped, rooted to the cement under his feet at that moment as violet eyes lifted and Suzaku was rushed through the image of very different colored eyes, Eyes that had shown like leaves in spring, but with a halo so similar to Lelouch's –only the light had been hot, and unlike Lelouch's pale skin, this image of pale had been tainted, dripping black and red to the floor. Suzaku was frozen. The numb extortion of his senses kicking In as his ears buzzed and the hair on his arms and neck stood on end.

A smile broke on Lelouch's face, not as bright or as cheery as most, but it was enough and the image was shattered, the fear of monsters chased back under the bed. And with the last blow, completely pulling Suzaku from his daze Lelouch spoke. "Hey,"

"Hey, Lelouch!" Suzaku said, before that smile could falter as he approached the other man. He cleared his throat, tugging at his sleeves I n the same moment.

"Suzaku," the other said as always with the same elegant air as he bowed his head just a touch in greeting.

Suzaku came to his side placing a tentive hand at the others back as he gestured to the restraint. "Shall we?" Suzaku couldn't stop his eyes as they roved over his counterpart. Checking for signs if Lelouch even realized what had just happened or not. Suzaku also threw a glance over his shoulder to the alleyway, making sure that the light that had just shut off wasn't the same… His was satisfied as he saw the dull artificial light flood the narrow way again as a door to one of the buildings was opened. Suzaku's eyes returned to Lelouch.

With little to set a standard on, Suzaku wasn't sure if the other had dressed up or just always found a way to look comfortable and nice in whatever he wore. Suzaku had a hunch that may just be it, but as he took in the slim fitting dark shirt and pristine dark wash jeans with an upturn of a starting smile. Suzaku wonder if it was just a natural talent or if Lelouch just had a very close sister.

"You're late." Lelouch mused, a light smile still gracing his face.

"I had difficulties with my hair." Suzaku admitted. He held the door, hoping Lelouch was still partial to the extra care, as they reached the entrance.

Lelouch chuckled, a hand, long and pale, coming up over his mouth. "You don't say?" He glanced back as Suzaku followed him into the lit reception area. "Well, I—I don't actually think I see a difference."

"Because there isn't one to see, and that was the difficulty." Suzaku said.

He'd earned a smile and as the hostess perked up, asking how many there would be, it took Suzaku a moment to tear his eyes away long enough to answer her.

* * *

><p>"I speak French."<p>

Their food had arrived, some time ago actually, though it wasn't being eaten very fast as they chatted, or at least Lelouch did. Suzaku sat back in his chair, listening as he took a sip from the glass in his hand. He wasn't forcing Lelouch to hold up the conversation, it was becoming apparent the other man could do that without any encouragement at all. It was a notion that hadn't occurred to Suzaku yet. Upon their first meeting, Lelouch had spoken only the minimum, and even at Suzaku's office, there had been a sense of reluctance. Now, whatever had happened to the other had changed that as Lelouch went on asking questions some requiring answers and others completely rhetorical.

"And you?" now was the moment for one of those questions, and those deep eyes would turn to Suzaku. As they seemed to do Suzaku found himself pinned down with that stare, the answer expected.

And Suzaku, found that as of yet he could not refuse the other man. "Several languages, though Japanese is the only one I'm fluent in." He also had a hunch Lelouch would probably make a very good interrogator if it ever came down to it.

A shapely eyebrow arched as a smile slid on to thin lips, "Not English as well?"

"I blunder my way through it." Japanese had been the language he'd primarily learned at birth, upon his father's insistence of course. "As you stated I have little to no accent, so I guess I do pretty well,"

"But not your favored language apparently?" Lelouch pressed. Suzaku had noticed that already—if the other man wanted to know something he wouldn't stop till he learned it. _Stubborn._

Suzaku smiled. "No, not particularly," and on second thought he continued. "Though, I'm not much for words as far as the prospect goes." Sucks pulled his hand up from the table scratching at his neck a bit. As far as impressing Lelouch, Suzaku doubted that this was a great attempt, but it was still true, and Suzaku would rather tell the truth.

But when Suzaku looked up he was met with not scrutinizing eyes, but deep, curious, and very violet eyes.

"Interesting." Lelouch breathed, before breaking the eye contact to take another bite of his food. "And the others?" Lelouch inquired further, voice more causal now than before, not as contemplative as the first statement.

Suzaku leaned forward, making sure to avoid letting his elbows rest, setting his glass down. "I'm well enough that I can get what I need when I need it."

A spark in those eyes again told Suzaku Lelouch knew there was more to the story, but like the very intelligent human being he was proving to be, he let the matter lie. Though Lelouch kept the small, sly smile on his face, his eyes narrow just a bit, but not in any form of suspicion or anger. . "Yes, indeed interesting," he murmured before starting out on a new avenue. "Do you like chess, at all?"

Suzaku debated, and as always reverted to the truth. "Not in the slightest," he chuckled. He was a simple man, he got orders and he saw them through, and he was never one for being the one calling the shots, having to mourn for the lost that were his fault was never something Suzaku enjoyed.

He earned another smile, though this one much different, almost abashed. "Would you play, if I asked?" Lelouch's voice was of the same. It was of the same brand of oozing confidence only quieter now, distilled as Lelouch's eyes wondered their way around the table before returning to Suzaku.

"Absolutely." Suzaku answered.

A smile, small and thin stretched on Lelouch's face, making Suzaku suck in a deep breath. "I would really like that." Lelouch went on.

Suzaku looked back down, his fingers fidgeting with the closest eating utensil. "When ever you like," Suzaku said looking up, catching that eye contact again, and losing his sense in those same eyes, so vivid in color. Suzaku was pretty sure that as those eyes were on him, he'd do anything for Lelouch. He was also surprised that those same eyes hadn't hypnotized Lelouch into getting a boyfriend before Suzaku had ever come around. "I'll play with you," Suzaku chuckled, "but I'll probably lose,"

Lelouch grinned, this time a little more coy as he himself leaned back into his chair, a hand, long and elegant, coming up to his mouth, but not to cover it. "You like being outside, don't you?"

Suzaku's skin color was probably answer enough, but he gave a nod. "Prefer it, actually."

"I had thought you would." Lelouch murmured, his hand coming forward now, those long fingers at the stem of his glass moving up and down the smooth surface of the glass. His eyes were downcast though, thoughts occupying Lelouch's mind elsewhere.

Suzaku was about to say something when Lelouch looked up again, and Suzaku's mind seized, intent to hear whatever Lelouch would lay before him.

"It's a bit cliché, but if you would be up for it, there are chess tables at the park, and the mornings are actually quite lovely there, would you like to go sometime?"

It sounded a bit more formal than Suzaku was comfortable with, and because of that he placed the boy in a suspicious look. "Are you asking me on a date, Lelouch Lamprouge?" A jesting smile was already creeping its way onto Suzaku's face.

That had earned Suzaku another smile and this time one that Suzaku was very much sure he could take a shinning too. It was an easy smile, not as calculated as the others, not large, or small, just natural. Suzaku leaned forward. Both of their food he was sure was long forgotten at this point. The need for food had been tossed away in hopes for something better. It was fascinating what attraction did to humans.

"Well," Lelouch started with a flash of mischievous eyes. "I am trying to take advantage of you, Mr. Kururugi." He looked away innocently and lifted the glass to his lips to take a quick, casual sip.

Suzaku gasped, "Taking advantage of an American soldier?"

Lelouch finally sat forward as well, letting his chin rest over his laced fingers, and quite purposefully placing his elbows at the table. "You see, my plans are to seduce you." He said as if he were a professor leaning over his desk to better explain his theory.

"I knew you were trouble." Suzaku drawled, but didn't move from the table. "Me and my office chair are in for the worst."

With a quick smile, Lelouch arched a finely shaped eyebrow as he continued, "Even after I've told you my plans? Shouldn't you be fleeing at this point?"

"Oh, I kind of already knew about your plans," Suzaku looked off into the distance. "It was something about the way you kissed me last night."

"Do I get a kiss tonight as well?" Lelouch inquired. It was a quick subject jump, but not an unwelcome one.

Suzaku glanced down, eye contact made again along with the little spark that attended it. If they weren't in a public place, Suzaku had no doubt they would be kissing already. "I don't think asking for permission makes a very good seducer."

Lelouch smiled that same coy smile again. "I have unique methods." His smile just widened. "But they always work."

Suzaku was sure of that as well. Lelouch was quite possibly the embodiment of confidence, and it was indeed very becoming. He had a grace to his movements, Suzaku wasn't sure where he had picked up, but it was effective, drawing out the moments and drawing Suzaku's eyes to ever precise gesture. In fact, precise was probably the best word to describe the other man. Everything, from wording to gestures, movements, tone all of it seemed calculated to the smallest detail.

"I am though." Lelouch added a moment later.

Suzaku perked. "Seducing me? Most definitely." He chuckled.

There wasn't as much amusement as Lelouch answered. "…no." He reached forward.

Suzaku was about to pull one of his hands off the table before he stopped—a long finger making contact over his knuckle. Lelouch stroked lightly over the skin, his eyes down at the same dark tan hand. The contrast between the wide almost brutish hand of Suzaku and Lelouch's, long, elegant, alabaster skin, and Lelouch was making it look like an art as he lightly ran his finger tip of Suzaku's middle finger over his palm, tracing along the veins, and retracing to Suzaku's middle finger and stroking down the digit with gently light strokes.

Suzaku had to swallow hard to keep himself from lunging over the table to Lelouch's. For seemingly harmless intimacy, Lelouch was doing a very good job of it, and it was very much having an effect on Suzaku. He hated that he had chose a restaurant at that moment. He should have invited the other boy over to his apartment, where—well never mind there really was no furniture yet, but he could have at least kissed him there, pulled him to the air mattress in his room and—it wasn't very romantic but it was better than watching Lelouch tease him in public.

"I have classes in the mornings, but on a weekend sometime, I really would be pleased to go to the park with you." Those eyes flicked up, to make a very fleeting, but charged contact with Suzaku.

Lelouch had been right, he was very good at seduction or at least he was right at that moment. The passing glances weren't so intoxicating the night before, but they hadn't been in public the night before. Suzaku had to sigh, it was just his luck that the one moment he wanted to jump the boy there was ten other tables of people around them.

Suzaku smiled, beaming. "That would be great."

A small smile, but they didn't seem to come to Lelouch's lips as easily as they did to Suzaku's, and because of that Suzaku took it as another brownie point in his favor. "I have this thing this weekend, but next weekend I…" He trailed off as Suzaku leaned forward.

"I already told you whenever you want me to go I will."

Suzaku flipped his hand letting Lelouch fingers tickle at the inside of his palm. It gave him enough leverage to tickle Lelouch's palm as well. Suzaku earned himself another smile and a bit of a blush. Eyes a bit too rich and dark to be placed as solely lavender fleeted up, accompanying the red stain of his cheeks. Suzaku gave a wide smile in response. Lelouch looked away, down at their so close to being interlocked hands.

"Can I count on a date the Saturday morning after this weekend then?" Lelouch said, recovering from his blush rather quickly to square Suzaku in the eye again.

"Of course." Suzaku smiled accordingly.

Lelouch's fingers started to move again, this time running the pads of his three middle fingers along the inside of Suzaku's palm, so light they left a bit of a tingle. Lelouch looked down, focusing probably on the way Suzaku was so easily handing himself over. Suzaku, in turn, wondered to himself how he had ever thought they wouldn't be this charged for each other in public.

Suzaku cleared his throat attempt to clear his thoughts as well. "So where are you going this weekend?"

Lelouch didn't look up. "It's a school trip." It was an off handed answer, tossing aside the topic immediately upon its arrival. He looked up, bright amethyst sending a shiver through Suzaku's spine as they flashed in the dim light. "Do you want to get out of here?"

Within a few second Suzaku had flagged down the nearest waiter for the check.

* * *

><p>Lelouch had him against the wall with a surprising burst of energy and even more surprising surge of—Suzaku would call it want but it seemed more like a need. Whatever it was if was certainly driving him as Lelouch thrust his hand through Suzaku curls and connected their lips, crashing their bodies against the bricks of the narrow alley way. As lewd and as obscene as this was Suzaku couldn't help but find it arousing, wrapping his arms around Lelouch's shoulders and giving himself wholeheartedly over to the kiss.<p>

He felt Lelouch shiver, probably from the night air, and he broke the kiss, his hands at Suzaku's chest as he huddled closer to him. Suzaku chuckled and pulled his arms a little tighter around Lelouch's shoulders, chafing his hand over Lelouch's sleeve at his arm, to try to generate some heat.

Suzaku wasn't sure why of all places Lelouch had chosen the alley way to start at it, he could have waited a few more minutes before they could come up with somewhere to go, but over eager and needy he had pulled Suzaku in and once far enough in he was pretty sure no one could openly spy on them, Lelouch had crushed into him and sealed them together.

Looking up Lelouch didn't even have to say anything, letting his eyes hood, parting his lips just enough, and Suzaku was leaning down, pressing into the kiss again. Lelouch's hand worked its way back up sliding against Suzaku's neck, sliding around to cup the back of Suzaku's head. Lelouch was demanding, but taking it slower than he had the night before. Suzaku's lips parted and Lelouch had his tongue thrust into Suzaku's mouth almost immediately. Suzaku cracked his eyes for half a second, sliding his own tongue across Lelouch's.

There was a flash of light through the alley way, probably just headlights from a passing car on the street, but it was enough Suzaku jerked his head up, certain he'd seen it for just a second…the kiss was broken for a moment and Suzaku's eyes searched the alley way. He could have sworn—there had been something there, standing against the wall.

"Suzaku?" Lelouch's voice was just a little different—distant, like there was something in the way of Suzaku being able to hear him.

Another flash of head lights and Suzaku had Lelouch behind him. It had been there for sure this time. Both of them, dripping blackened ash-smeared sweat, red pooling at their feet, the gun… It had been fleeting just like the moment itself, and Suzaku reached behind him finding Lelouch, or the side of him at least, checking to make sure the other boy was still there, still safe.

"Suzaku?"It was a far more worried voice this time, even a bit panicky. "What's wrong?"

"You ever think that their not just memories?"

Suzaku spun, forcing Lelouch between his back and the wall as the voice from deeper in the alley echoed. Suzaku didn't have a weapon but he was still descent enough at hand to hand as he squared up the man. He was broad, well set, but not perfect, heavier though it all looked to be build, not fat, but still heavy—something Suzaku could use against him if there as need. He was also swaying slightly, the bottle in his hand very firmly grasped—something else Suzaku could use against him, drunkards weren't hard to knock off balance. Assessment made, Suzaku widened his stance, readily if need be to lunge, it would be faster that way and if he timed it right he'd be able to throw Lelouch back towards the entrance giving him a head start for a run for it.

"They don't go away," the man went on, his voice deep and surprisingly articulate for the fact he was from the looks of it stiff drunk.

Suzaku felt Lelouch's fingers curl in to the fabric of his shirt at his shoulder.

"If anything they get worse. The nightmares too, do you get those?" the man turned to look at them just as another flash of headlights.

The glimpse was all that was needed for a complete assessment change. In the flash of light Suzaku had become aware of the jagged scare across the man's face, the dirty (literally, not just color) blond hair, the lazy blue eyes and most shocking the coat—it was military issue. Older than the hills, but it was a trench, faded army green and still even had rank stars at the shoulders. A make that hadn't been issued since the 70's, but still had the flag patch at one of the man's shoulders.

The man lifted the bottle taking another swig. "It's the one's that come like that that really start to get to ya, they come out of nowhere and just the littlest damn thing like a door slamming shut or fireworks—God, I hate fireworks."

Suzaku turned to a very nervous and confused looking Lelouch. "Come on," Suzaku said as he gestured for them to leave. His eyes roamed over the other boy—the same impression of vulnerability coming back to him again.

Lelouch wasn't looking back at Suzaku thoigh, his eyes locked on the man behind them. "What is he talking about?" the deep tone of Lelouch's voice was nowhere near vulnerable at this point.

"It's nothing." Suzaku assured tugging at Lelouch's arm now as Suzaku took a step closer to the entrance.

"They told you to keep quiet about it didn't they?" The man's booming voice reaching Suzaku's ears this time, making him look back, forgetting himself for just a moment. He almost charged then, almost thought of how best to incapacitate the man quickly but still leave him conscious enough to answer how he knew—this couldn't be just guesses at this point.

A lopsided grin came onto the man's face. "Yeah, they take the boys who don't do anything wrong and give them whatever they need to feel better, but with the ones that shame them, the ones that do all the dirty work they just toss aside, reassign, hope you forget about it so you can be useful once again."

Suzaku's eyes widened just a bit his mouth snapping shut while his mind raced. Did he know this man? Negative. Did this man know him? He couldn't have, Suzaku just got here. Negative. Military background? Most definitely positive. But in what faction? The coat was army, draft issued. Still in military services? Unable to tell, but the answer was mostly likely negative. A threat? Maybe sober, but now, with the good ten foot distance between them? Negative. Than how did he…? That was an answer Suzaku couldn't calculate out. It wasn't an answer he'd been trained to recognize immediately.

"Suzaku,"

It was Lelouch, and because it was Lelouch Suzaku's head snapped back to look at him. He'd honestly almost forgotten Lelouch was there for a split second.

"What is this man talking about?" Lelouch tone was still deep, more demanding this time, like an issued order.

Suzaku didn't answer, knew he couldn't even if he wanted too.. He just stared back down at Lelouch, almost assessing him as well, even knowing this was his date not a threat.

There was laughter this time, and Suzaku's head shot back to pin the man back within the stare of green eyes.

"You're not getting any answers from him, boy." The man kept up the laughter, though it having died down to just chuckles. "That boy could probably be half dead and you still wouldn't get a peep out of him, no matter what you did. You got to hand it to them, they sure know how to train a man to keep a secret." He took another long swig of whatever sort of alcohol he had in that bottle.

Suzaku had been about to turn, about to just drag Lelouch out of the alley way if necessary, but he was stopped at the sound of that voice again. The other man was getting not only inconvenient at this point, but bold, taking a thick booted step forward. When Suzaku looked again the other man was pointing straight at Lelouch.

"Make sure you take care of him though." The man still had a very lopsided kind of grin. "As long as he keeps coming back to you, he's still there, maybe not all there, but deep down he's there." He took another step forward.

The alarms in Suzaku's head instantly started to scream and he reflexively took a purposeful full step way, pulling Lelouch with him. He figured the radius those arms could reach were a good four feet, if the man lunged closer to five or six, and Suzaku was not letting Lelouch be caught with in that potential threat zone. It served a second purpose though, switching on the rational side, the side that knew that now was the time to be leaving before the other man got any bolder and Suzaku got any more impatient with him.

"Let's go," Suzaku said, taking Lelouch's arm, more firm this time, not letting there even be a chance he could push him away. Later as always Suzaku would feel a bit guilty for using his physical strength against Lelouch, but right now Suzaku was only thinking about getting out of the alleyway. Lelouch didn't need to hear anymore of this loony and Suzaku didn't need to be anymore paranoid than he already was becoming.

Lelouch didn't comply easily, "Suzaku!" the sharp tone tearing at Suzaku's ears. "How do you know this man?" He'd taken a stance, not one that Suzaku couldn't pull him out of if he'd have tried, but one that Suzaku wouldn't be gaining any ground.

"I don't," Suzaku answered short, giving an insistent tug to Lelouch's arm.

The sound of laughter echoed through the alley way again.

Suzaku didn't even look this time, only changed his hold on Lelouch to wind his arm around his waist and giving a jerk, forcing the other boy to stumble a step forward. With the grounded stance broken it was easy enough for Suzaku to get a hold on Lelouch enough to pull him out of the alley way and on to the open street.

Compliance didn't seem to be something Lelouch wanted to do, but he let Suzaku pull him along anyway. Suzaku pulled his arm out from Lelouch's waist, leaving only a loose hold at his arm again as Suzaku stepped to the curb to hail a cab.

"What was that man talking about?" the tone Lelouch took now was quiet, but still just as clipped. He stood stoic, chin raised just slightly, as if he was looking down at Suzaku, not a hint of vulnerability now.

"Absolutely nothing," his own tone was a bit clipped as well. Suzaku wasn't surprised that he'd made Lelouch angry, he himself would probably be angry if in the same situation, but Suzaku wasn't sorry for his actions, at least not yet, and as a cab pulled up he opened the door to guide Lelouch in.

Once in, Suzaku leaned forward to give an address, before looking back at Lelouch. "Where do you live?"

Lelouch's head snapped to him. "We are not finished for the night." He hissed.

Suzaku, unaffected, asked again. "Where do you live?"

"No!" Lelouch growled. "I still have questions. Like for one who was that man?"

Suzaku sighed. "Lelouch, give me your address,"

The sigh only seemed to make the boy even more livid. "You have got to be joking!" disgust showed in the sneer now marring Lelouch's face. "We just went through that and you think you can just drop me off and it be done."

"No," Suzaku answered honestly. "But after what just happened I doubt you'll want to be around me for the rest of the night."

"I still have questions." Lelouch growled, his arms crossed over his chest and jaw set.

Suzaku tilted his head. "Then you can ask on the way, now what is your address."

Clearly displeased with Suzaku, Lelouch leaned forward, giving his address to the cab driver himself. With another sigh, Suzaku sat back, facing the window. As far as dates went that hadn't been the best one he'd ever had in his life.

It was a long moment, the city rushing past the cab windows in a blur, before Lelouch finally spoke. "Who was that man?"

Suzaku stayed silent. Resting his elbow on the door, he brought his hand up to his mouth. He was pretty sure that even if he did say anything to Lelouch at this point it would probably be more damaging than anything.

"Suzaku!" It was hissed again. A clipped tone, Suzaku had hoped they wouldn't come to for a while longer in their relationship. "Answer me."

Suzaku didn't look away from the window, didn't focus on anything in particular, deciding an answer was probably best at this point, despite the fact he knew it wasn't one Lelouch wanted to hear. "It was no one. No one I know at least."

"Then why was he talking to us?" Lelouch took in a huffy breath and exhaling before he continued. "That wasn't just some drunk stumbling home."

"I don't know him." Suzaku reiterated, his hand going to his face, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose.

Lelouch, Suzaku was learning, couldn't just let a subject drop. "He talked like he knew you. He talked like he knew exactly what was going on with you, like he'd seen it himself."

"It was nothing!" Suzaku finally hissed back himself. His eyes narrowed as he pushed off from the window to bare that gaze down on Lelouch. "Just drop it! He knows absolutely nothing about me and neither do you!"

It was quiet then. The cab driver hadn't said a word from the moment they got in the car and Suzaku didn't blame him, what was worse than getting in the middle of a fight between two people stuck in the backseat together? Suzaku looked back to the window, no longer being able to stand Lelouch's stoic gaze over at him. The other boy hadn't moved, his arms still crossed over his chest, no sign that he was affected at all by Suzaku finally loosing it a bit.

And it stayed that way for several long moments, the city disappearing as the cab started into more suburban area. Neither spoke, but Suzaku could still feel that gaze still lingering over him, still looking at him like –well in a much different way than Suzaku would have preferred. His own gaze was outward looking to the passing lights and street signs. There was no reason to make this confrontation worse, or even this date any worse, by actually speaking. If Suzaku had had a hope before it had dissipated some time with in that alley and only been affirmed by the fact he'd lost his temper.

The car pulled to a stop, Suzaku too distant to even take a good look as to where.

"It's not that late."

The sound of Lelouch's voice a bit startled Suzaku. He looked over slow, watching Lelouch's now more reserved form. He'd pulled back from the easy and pleasant contact the two had seemed to fit into so well.

"No one will be expecting me home yet." Lelouch was looking down, eyes not exactly focused on anything.

Suzaku couldn't argue with that. It wasn't exactly how he'd planned the night either. If things had gone smoothly they would probably still be enjoying each other now. But despite his reluctance, he couldn't help but speak up. "Would you like me to walk you in?"

Finally Lelouch looked up at Suzaku. As always, that gaze had an effect on Suzaku as well. He swallowed, the sound cutting through the awkward silence, and though not helping, was still some sound. It was hard to not reach forward and take Lelouch's hand and lead him up to the house despite what he would answer. Suzaku did want to make this right if it was possible, though now that possibility was rather slim at this point. It was their first official date and their first official fight—not exactly an amazingly fabulous start to things.

"Thank you," Lelouch said quiet.

Suzaku perked ready to move to take Lelouch's hand.

"But I'll be fine walking on my own." Lelouch continued, cold and calculated as Suzaku had ever heard him. Suzaku was starting to realize that when Lelouch was mad he was good at snippy comments and crushing little comments. He was so different from Suzaku. Lelouch seemed like the kind of person that wouldn't fight fair, if openly at all.

Nodding, Suzaku sat back. "Alright."

His eyes, deep, violet, and completely unreadable didn't move away from Suzaku. It was the same for Suzaku as well. It was silent between them, but then again at least they still had that bit of limited contact and they weren't throwing bit out comments back and forth.

"Hey," Suzaku's head snapped to the taxi driver, finally voicing his presence. "Is the kid getting out or what?"

Before Suzaku could even attempt a reply Lelouch was already on top of it. "Of course, sorry to hold you up." No, he wasn't. Suzaku could tell from the tone in his voice and the way that he hadn't even spared a glance in the cab drivers direction.

The door was open a moment later and Lelouch was getting out. Suzaku slid across the seat not sure on what exactly to do, walking him to the door was off limits, but what about anything else? Was he even allowed to just say goodnight? Awkward, awkward, awkward.

"I don't leave until Friday afternoon." Lelouch again, was already on top of it, standing from the taxi and pulling at the blazer, setting it just right on his shoulders to look as primed and pressed as it could.

"Alright." It seemed to be the only word Suzaku could come up with at the moment as he himself stood from the cab but kept a hand holding the door open. The taxi driver was probably a bit perturbed to wait just a moment but Suzaku still needed a way home since it had been made clear Lelouch probably wouldn't welcome him inside, even if it was just to call another cab.

Lelouch was looking at him still, but he was distant, physically, stepping back to give Suzaku an ample amount of room to stand. "So if you want, I'll have my phone so—"

"I'll call you." Suzaku interrupted, which was rather rude, but he felt he needed to say it. He was still invested to an extent. They'd need to find a way around this awkward argument some time and over the phone seemed like a fairly good place to start if not the lesser of the two options.

A nod was Suzaku's only answer for a moment, Lelouch's eyes fleeting down to the asphalt below their feet. "If it's not too much, I really would like to see you again before I leave." It wasn't a question.

But Suzaku didn't give an affirmative answer either. "I'll call you." He repeated, not taking his eyes away from Lelouch's long ebony head of hair.

This wasn't getting any easier. In fact, as a touch of silence set in again, this time with the chill night air brought along for the ride and the dim lit street to set a tone Suzaku didn't much like. It was far too somber to leave like this and not have some sort of resolve or even hope of a resolve.

"Well—" Lelouch started as he turned.

Catching his hand on Lelouch's arm, Suzaku pulled him back. "Wait." It was still so—weird. It had been the first contact they'd had since Suzaku had led Lelouch to get into the cab after their hasty escape from the alleyway. In retrospect the alleyway hadn't been the greatest choice of places to initiate that kind of contact between them. Suzaku did have to admit there hadn't be an array of choices to choose from in hope of having a nice make out session, but the alley had been a really bad idea.

Lelouch stopped, glancing back, but didn't tear his arm away.

"Are you two breaking up or not?" The cab driver called out the window.

Suzaku didn't spare the man a glance. He kind of wanted to tell the man to can it, but instead he addressed the situation, no matter how rude the man was he had a point, and Suzaku had to acknowledge that exact issue.

He glanced down the street for a second making sure there weren't any significant watchers before he spoke. "I promised you a good night kiss, didn't I?" He looked back up at Lelouch. Suzaku didn't drop his hand from Lelouch's sleeve either.

Not fighting Suzaku at least, Lelouch stared back at him. It wasn't a vacant stare, eyes shifting as Lelouch roved over Suzaku's face and a bit below his shoulders before snapping back to hook eye contact. "Yes, I suppose you did." He said, making sure he was just audible enough for Suzaku to catch.

It wasn't the best answer that Suzaku had ever gotten but still an affirmative. Suzaku moved, stepping forward, sweeping his arm up and hooked it around Lelouch to pull him closer. Making sure to move slow, not to make Lelouch feel like he was being attacked he cupped his other hand at Lelouch's face, and still holding constant eye contact. If Lelouch didn't want this than he wanted to know before he initiated anything.

But Lelouch complied and easily as his hands run up to Suzaku's shoulders, tilling his head as Suzaku tilted his own leaning forward. The press of lips and molding of the two of them was as always seamless. Suzaku barely opened his mouth, moving slower, making the kiss much more tender and less heated, and Lelouch seemed to quickly catch on to the same idea letting his own lips linger one arm going up to lazily slide along the mantle of Suzaku's shoulders. If they didn't have the company of the taxi driver Suzaku might have actually tried something more, but instead he tightened his hold around Lelouch's waist, his other arm coming to fold around the younger boy as well.

"Hey, let's get this show on the road!"

With a jolt they separated, startled by the call from the taxi driver. Suzaku didn't completely let Lelouch go though, keeping a hand at his shoulder as the kiss broke and Lelouch took a step back.

"Alright," Suzaku called over his shoulder. He hopped that his tone conveyed enough of 'shut the hell up' that the message got through.

Lelouch gave a nod, "I'll see you then?" he said.

Suzaku looked back at him, his gaze softening as he smiled. "Of course," He gave his own nod. "I'll text later, okay?"

Still tightlipped and very controlled, Lelouch stepped out of Suzaku's grasp. "I'll make sure to keep my phone close." He straightened his jacket again. smoothing the wrinkles out before stepping up on to the sidewalk. "Goodnight, Suzaku," he said without looking.

"Goodnight." Suzaku said watching the other boy go for a moment. His feet seemed up able to move from the spot, his brain still focused on Lelouch's cold retreat.

But knowing the cab driver would only get upset, he turned, sliding back into the car, and leaning forward to give the address of his apartment. The cab driver said something about this being a nice neighborhood, but Suzaku wasn't listening, his thoughts elsewhere. Whatever else conversation the driver had tried to make was lost as well, and by the time the cab had pulled up in front of the apartment building and Suzaku had gotten out, paid the taxi driver and was making his way up the stair he'd come to the conclusion Lelouch was still very much mad at him.

* * *

><p>Lelouch opened the front door as he heard Suzaku getting into the cab behind him. Turning his head just barely caught the sight of Suzaku closing the door and the cab driver pulling away. It was perfect timing as just then Euphemia entered through the door to the living room.<p>

"Oh, you're home early." Euphemia commented. "Usually you stay out longer when you go with your friends."

Already lost in thinking what to do about he and Suzaku, Lelouch only nodded, stepping into the house and clicking the door closed behind him. He immediately turned to the stairs, hoping to get out of the prying eyes of his sister.

"Did you not have fun tonight?" Euphemia asked, probably from the overall lack of answers from Lelouch in total.

"Yeah, it was fine," Lelouch said, finally looking up but not quite meeting Euphemia's lavender eyes. "Is Nunnally upstairs?"

"I put her to bed just before you got home." She affirmed with a sweet smile.

A nod again was all that Lelouch could really come up with. He had been hoping to see his little sister before continuing to his room. It would have been a nice pick-me-up after the disaster he'd somehow managed to survive. "I see."

"Father's left again, so I told him I'd stay here just to make sure things went alright." Euphemia continued now a little more awkward. Not that Lelouch couldn't blame her, he wasn't exactly being a tremendous amount of help in the conversation department.

He would have normally protested, told her that he and Nunnally would be fine without her, especially with Sayako around and that there was no reason for her to stay, but he knew that with the student counsel trip that weekend it was probably better that Euphemia did stay. "Your roommates are alright with that?" another awkward question.

Euphemia giggled. "I doubt they'll even notice I've gone." It was easier, along with the smile as well. "It's not with trying to get my student teaching hours that I'm there much anyway."

Lelouch gave the third (fourth?) nod of the night. "Oh, alright. Thanks for coming though." He started up the stairs. "Well, I'm going to head up to bed."

She looked perplexed for just a moment, but smiled again, that sweet smile as she spoke. "Alright, sleep well."

"Thank you." Lelouch said cordially before the pointing his gaze away to the steps as he continued up the stairs and to the hall. He couldn't help but peak in at his little sister's room for just a moment before continuing to his own room. Once there the first thing he did was set his phone at the nights stand, already knowing he'd check it every waking moment at twenty minutes intervals and probably several times throughout the night.

* * *

><p>Okay so a bit shorter than normal, but I hope it was entertaining. I am sorry for such a long delay on all of these and by that I mean all of my fan fics. But yeah as with everything I'm pressing out lately there is always that question nagging in the back of my head on believability…and I hope I didn't fail on that.<p>

~Reviews, like kittens and puppies, are always loved.~


	3. Parental Love and Caring

**Special Thanks: NinjahNeachy, Atheist1, ycart, luckless-is-me, May, kpopmaniac615, Rosie-lol, ChiTsuki Takai, Riverspirit86, jadedfox2, OrlandosLover2009, Danny, Eien-Kiseki, broken-paige **

**Warning: Shit kind of hits the fan in this chapter. There is refrain use, domestic violence and abuse, and way way too many problems for one story.**

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><p>Minor vs. Major<p>

Chapter Three

Parental Love and Caring

1/25/2012 9:20 AM

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><p>"Your father was a cop?"<p>

Cornelia sat behind her large solid wood desk. Her entire office was immaculate, barely even a stray scrap of paper to be found. The room—Cornelia's office—was all just the same brand of meticulous, no nonsense kind of clean. Behind Suzaku, the walls were lined with photos. The most impressive of which was of white washed landscape and Cornelia, armed to the teeth and in white camo gear. A long, scoped rifle hung off her shoulders and underneath that single black—high heeled—combat boot a polar bear's dead eyes stared up through the photo. A small trickle of blood leaked from the bears slack jaw.

Suzaku nodded. "Yes ma'am, he was chief of police for most of my childhood." He didn't say it like others he knew. It was a quiet tone filled with less pride and more reluctant acknowledgement.

"Hm." Cornelia snorted, completely uninterested. "And you have a different address listed here when you went into high school. Your father didn't change districts along with you though."

Suzaku shifted, a grimace on his face as he tried to think of a good answer to give. "I—well it was easier, not to live at home."

"Well it must have paid off, you're grades went up, you went into the Student council, even got all American in Soccer." Cornelia brushed through several pieces of paper. "You played a little bit of everything it seems: swim team, basketball, even the lacrosse team. I'm sure any college would have loved to have you. "

She was his superior officer, she was allowed to look at his file, his life, every minute detail he'd ever had about him if she so please, though Suzaku had to admit he'd never had a commanding officer be so thorough. Even Bismarck had perused most of the information and went straight to his history from boot camp on. The problem was Suzaku wasn't sure if she'd just asked him a question or just stated a fact.

"Well—" Suzaku started, trying to think of what to say. "I'm not so sure of that."

"Yeah, neither am I, Kururugi." Cornelia said before going on. "Now in Junior high there was a completely different story going on."

Suzaku wanted to say something along the lines of, 'I don't want to talk about it,' or even better, 'shove off.' But Cornelia vi Britannia, was a Colonel and there was no way in hell he'd ever try and disrespect someone two ranks ahead of him, let alone a woman that had taken down a polar bear for fun.

"To be honest I would have never guessed that you had this kind of a record." Cornelia thumbed through the paper work like it was nothing but what was to be expected. "You're lucky you were very much a minor, or I don't think the Army would have given you a chance."

That was definitely a compliment coming from her and Suzaku took whatever he could get, "Yes ma'am."

"You know, it surprised me a little when I found out you have never gone to an officer's school." She went on. "Though your record speaks for its self," she went on, her tone shifting this time to a much more distant, almost like she wasn't speaking to Suzaku at all. "In all your very boyish attributes, there is a sense of formality that surrounds you that only most graduate officers have."

The fan over head spun in time with the clock on the wall, Suzaku wasn't sure how to answer again so he just looked away to the floor and said. "Yes ma'am."

She looked up with a sharp motion of her head. "You're excused Kururugi." It was a tone that bit at Suzaku's heels, the kind of tone that would have better been accustomed to 'go be useful somehow,' instead of a brisk dismissal.

Either way, Suzaku nodded and stood, giving a salute before going out the door. Once he left the room he let out the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding.

* * *

><p>"He hasn't called you, yet?" C.c. asked.<p>

Lelouch shook his head. "He's called. I just—I didn't answer."

Sitting against the wall they both just looked off towards the railing. C.c. leaned forward as she brought her knees up to lean against them. Her long hair trailed over her shoulder in two low set piggy tails. Lelouch in turn leaned back against the wall, his head back against he cement of the wall, and neck craned so he could look up at the sky.

"Did he leave a voicemail?" her voice was muffled by the long sleeves of her school uniform, but Lelouch could still hear her clear enough.

He shook his head in more of a shrug of a motion. "I don't know. I didn't check. Milly texted me so I didn't get a chance."

It was quiet, but not awkward, just quiet between them for a few moments. Below they could hear the ruckus of gym class in progress. They could even hear the jarring of the basketball banker and the 'thwap!' as tennis rackets made contact with the ball. It echoed through the courtyards of Ashford, reverberating off of the tall builds that surrounded and refracting off the dorms.

Lelouch looked over towards the dorms. Mostly they were for the kids whose parents just wanted to get rid of them for the school year, several talked about how their real homes weren't that far from Lelouch's own house. But there were a few who lived there because their parents simply lived elsewhere in the country, which was what the dorms were meant for. Lelouch always wondered what category Cc. fit into, but she never mentioned her parents, her home, or her family, so Lelouch left the matter at that. C.c. liked to keep her secrets and Lelouch let her, and that was why their relationship flowed so well.

"He really just dragged you out of that street/?" C.c. asked.

"Pretty much," Lelouch said with a sigh.

"He swore he didn't know that men at all?" C.c. asked.

Sparing a glance over at the girl, Lelouch could tell she was having just a hard of time putting it all together as Lelouch was with the whole thing. "He—" Lelouch stopped looking down. "He said he didn't know him. But the man acted like he knew exactly what Suzaku was going through, like he'd been him at one point in his life. "

"You don't think that maybe Suzaku's taking something." It was so nonchalant that Lelouch knew no one else could say it but C.c. "It's not uncommon for soldiers to come home and get a little—well one thrill must be replaced with another."

"No." Lelouch said. "We had dinner for over an hour, there was no way. I would have known if he was on something."

It was quiet, neither of them sure what to suggest next to come up for Suzaku's recent absence.

"He didn't text me all weekend even."

"You did tell him you were going on a school trip, didn't you?" C.c. said, for once it seemed trying to give some ounce of comfort. On a normal day the school trip would have been the topic of discussion, but after the disaster of a date Lelouch had had with the much older man—there wasn't much talk that didn't involve his disaster of a date with older man.

Lelouch didn't look way from the sky. "After Sunday I didn't even expect him to call at all."

"You know, you probably weren't the only one shook up over what happened. I doubt that what happened was at all what he expected. Maybe he just needed some time, and maybe he was considerate enough to think that you needed the same."

His head, lulled to the side, enough to catch contact of one single golden eye. "Maybe he didn't want to face me after what he'd done."

C.c. gave a huff, and not a normal huff, more like a huff that told Lelouch her patience was running thin with him.

"What?" he growled.

"You're just taking this all in strides aren't you?" The scolding was given in the same bored tone she gave everything in.

With a snort, Lelouch leaned back against the wall. A little red faced he wasn't going to let C.c. see it that was for sure.

"Just answer, next time he calls." C.c. said as she stood. Her skirt whipped with the breeze for a moment as she walked around Lelouch to the door to the stairs.

Lelouch heard the clank of metal as C.c. fleeted through the door and back down into the school.

* * *

><p>After a dead try the day before Suzaku wasn't sure he should even try again for the next couple of days. But his brain reasoned that he'd given Lelouch almost a week's worth of space—unintentional but he'd given it. The boy had to pick up his phone at some point even if it was just to tell Suzaku that it was over. Though as of then 'it' hadn't quite been clarified.<p>

Leaning against the gray brick of the building Suzaku raised the phone to his ear and waited.

-and waited, and waited, and waited, until Lelouch's voice mail message came on, again.

Suzaku let out a huffed sigh before the beep signifying he could give a message.

"Hey," He said. He swallowed, not sure what to say at this point. It was the second message he'd left in the last few days. "Uhm, I called." Again. "I just wanted to talk to you about us.." that sounded oh so manly, didn't it? Might as well go take a Midol and drink some cranberry juice. "Look uh, if you get this just call me back. I was kind of wondering if you'd be up for a redo of last time." His case wasn't getting much better the farther he went on. "Just—just call me, okay."

With a loud snap, Suzaku clamped the phone shut in his fist and dispensed it in the pocket of his trousers before turning back to the door that led into the building.

That night Suzaku went home without a reply. He then went to bed without reply and got up the next morning without a reply. It was the first time in years he watched his phone like a hawk, kept it in his shirt pocket just in case, in hopes that maybe if he kept it on vibrate he'd stop checking it every couple of hours.

* * *

><p>"Where is it?" She hissed as she came through the doorway into the formal living room.<p>

Lelouch stood from the couch. Euphie was up as well and ushering Nunnally to come with her as she hurried out of the room. Lelouch felt the hard pressed pang of guilt in his throat as he thought of Euphie, of how Euphie's mother, rejected by Charles as well, had never acted with malcontent towards the family.

Lelouch's mother crossed the threshold into the room in longs strides, her twitching fingers already aiming for Lelouch, just like her wild eyes were locked onto him. "What have you done with it?" She hissed at him again.

Saying anything to her at this point was pointless so Lelouch just backs away. He can't stop his tongue though and bite out the snarl of a comment. "Why would I want that in this house?"

Marianne vi Britannia didn't look much like the photos that still hung in the house around them, Lelouch thought as he watched her face contort in a snarl. Behind her, on shelf's, and side tables, and even a full print on the wall are photos of a former her. A picture of her wedding day hangs behind Lelouch over the fireplace, encased in a gold-colored frame. The long elegant white dress, and happy smiles. A bouquet of calla lilies and roses, forget me not's, and baby's breath was in her hand, her other curled around the elbow of Lelouch's father—his constant bored expression through almost all of the wedding photos should have been Marianne's first clue it wouldn't last. Lelouch's eyes fleeted to a photo of a smart looking Marianne, just made partner to the law firm she now only dropped by every once and a while to collect her share.

"Give it to me." She snarled at him, snapping Lelouch's attention back to her.

That effortless, exotic beauty was so far from gone. Her long ebony hair once silk to the touch and shining black waters to see flooding over her shoulders was brittle, lack luster, barely combed, like rotted straw hung from her head. Her sunken face still glared at him, lipstick was smeared, probably from the shaking, and mascara had hastily been applied—more than likely before she had discovered that her stash in her purse was missing. The once coveted designer clothes hung off her shoulders in need of wash and repair. Lelouch was surprised she's even managed to find cloths that matched let alone the Jimmy Chew heels she stumbled forward in.

"Give them to me!" it was a scream this time.

Lelouch looked up, done lamenting over the powerful and strong woman he'd had as a mother at one point in his life. "No."

She lunged at him, her movements desperate and sloppy. Lelouch retreated in the direction of the drawing room. He was pretty certain that by now Euphie would have Nunnally up and in her bedroom, hopefully with her hands clasped over the poor girl's ears. As much as Lelouch hated her blindness, he was glad she'd never seen the horrid example of a woman that called herself their mother, not that she claimed them any longer.

"Where then?" Marianne screeched. Lelouch backed a few more steps into the room and away from the center as she attacked anything in sight. The drawers set into the French side table were ripped out of their slots, papers and things flying in the mad woman's search. She shattered a crystal paper weight and threw a silver vase to dent against the hardwood of the floor.

Marianne had worked all her life to rise up from her middle class, blue collar family. Her father had worked himself to death to just live day to day, and her mother had just—given up, tired of working all day every day. That woman had worked her way through a law degree at Yale. That woman had almost cried when she looked at the hourly wages of the first job she'd gotten as an attorney. That Woman had built herself and her reputation from the ground up. Of course, then she had met Senator Charles zi Britannia.

She toppled books off of their shelves and hurled a framed family photo to the floor in a sickening crack as the glass made contact with the hard wood. Lelouch eyes dropped to it. A much younger version of he and Nunnally smiled up at him, Marianne sat behind them, with Charles standing in back, his hand at her shoulder. Then a peep-toe heel entered his view. Another cracking of glass sounded as Marianne stepped on the broken frames surface. The photo crinkled and gave way, impaled on the speared heel and Marianne stepped over the mess to charge her son.

"Where have you hid it?"

Lelouch sprang from his corner, fleeting through doorways to the old servant's kitchen. Sayoko was there already, she seemed to know immediately what was going on as she moved to the back door trying to get it open—But Marianne was already through the drawing room door and Lelouch scattered the contents of the table as he ran through the closest doorway to the dining room. He'd almost come full circle through the house, making it to the entryway before Marianne caught him. Her long, deep red colored nails dug into his skin through the cloth of his sleeve as she wretched him around to look at her.

"Where is it, boy?" Marianne shook her sons arm, tried to shake his entire frame, drilling him for any information he would dare divulge. "Give it to me! I know you, you little weasel. You're always the cause of this! It's you, I know it! What have you done with it"

Lelouch set his jaw, jerking his arm out of her grip before taking a step backwards, standing almost exactly in the center of the foyer. "I threw it out."

"What?" Her face broke, as if it was an unthinkable prospect before her. "Lelouch, my son, you—" She shook her head, her finger twitched and shook as she raised them to her face. "You wouldn't."

He didn't say anything. His mother had heard him, he didn't need to keep going or further draw the pain out any longer.

"Tell me you didn't throw it away." Her lips trembled as she spoke. It was the first time that night that her voice had lowered to a respectable volume.

Lelouch raised his chin, there was an arrogant tick to the raising, as he proclaimed. "I threw it all away."

It took a moment for the words to barrage through her reason and want. "What?" she hissed. "What are you _thinking you little shit_?" it was a roar of emotion this time as she lurched at him.

A staggering step back was the only response Lelouch gave, his face morphed into disgust. "You really think I would have let that filth stay here? With Nunnally?" it was his turn to be angry. "We had no idea where you were! We never know where you are! You're almost as absent in our lives as our father. Why would I want to keep anything here that's yours?"

Marianne said nothing for a minute. "Don't you judge me, Lelouch."

His lip curled in a sneer as he watched his mother. What was she trying to convince him of? That this monster attacking him over nothing really wasn't who she was? With a sharp noise made with his tongue Lelouch turned, heading for the stairs, in slow deliberate strides. "Just leave us alone, mother. Go see our father; I'm sure he'll find you some Refrain somewhere."

"Don't you leave me!" She screamed at him as she reached out again.

Lelouch moved, trying to fleet out of her grasp, but failed. Her acrylic claws for nails snagged on his crisp white sleeve of his shirt and caught, stumbling back and they both toppled to the wood floors. Marianne was built so differently from her son. Though in disarray and general poor condition, she had the strong limbs of a born athlete, and with that strength she wrestled Lelouch to the ground, straddling over his stomach to pin him against the floors.

"Give it to me! What did you do with it?" She hissed and snarled and bit out as she yanked Lelouch up to her.

A hard backhanded slap made stinging contact to his cheek in the struggle, his trousers slid against the polished floor as he tried to get away from his mother to get to the stairs or the living room or just out from under her hold to run again.

"Their gone!" Lelouch huffed out as he raised his arm in defense.

Next thing Lelouch knew he was shoved down to the floor. A dazed and confused moment followed again in his head, he had to blink before he realized that he was being frisked by his mother.

"You've always been his favorite. He always gives you whatever you want. You always have his money, he practically throws it at you!" her rant didn't slow as she tore through his pants pockets before attacking the vest, going through every little nook to hide something in. "He's always taken care of you. Always!" She was screaming the words at him, angry over what she was saying to him because she hated the truth to them.

Buttons popped as she ripped the vest open, finding the inside pocket she clawed at the wallet there to get it out. Seconds later the woman stood as she shoved the found cash into her own pockets. The sound of clicking heels and small 'yes, I knew it' escaping her mouth was all that reached Lelouch's ears. She left everything else, ID, debit cards, everything and flung the wallet back to her son. Within a couple of minutes she was out the door. The purred hum of her Mercedes outside was followed by the screech of tires to accompany her frightful departure.

Lelouch gave a sigh letting his body still lie there for a moment, long enough to let his mind clear, let his body calm form the fight of flight situation he'd just been immersed in.

"Nunnally's wondering if you're alright." Euphemia stood at the top of the stairs, one hand rested on the banister and her other was held lank at her side. Her usual expression of blissful happiness was—marred. The frown that replaced her usual bright face didn't become her.

It took a bit of effort but Lelouch heaved himself up, slouching over his lap as he retrieved his raped wallet up from the floor. "Tell her I'm fine." He didn't turn his head as he spoke to her. It would take a few hours at least for the pain in his cheek to formulate into a bruise but he wasn't going to take any chances of Euphie seeing anything. "Tell her that I'll come in later and talk to her."

Euphemia did nothing but nod. Sayoko came in through the dining room, a wash cloth in her hand. She knelt next to Lelouch, whipping at his face with the rag to make sure there was nothing at least atop the skin that would give any cause for worry before picking herself up as well she trailed off towards the drawing room. The feeling of shame washed over him again as he looked down at his lap. This was so normal at that point that Sayoko hadn't even asked what to do, she just went to go clean up the mess, yet again.

His face finally turned as he heard Euphie's own heels as she made her way down the stairs. "If you moved into the main house you wouldn't have to put up with this. There's no way that—"

"We're fine here." Lelouch cut in. He was ashamed enough here. If they lived at the house all he'd get was the back biting whispers and glances. He wouldn't move there and he wouldn't drag his sister in through those blood soaked doors.

He saw the displeased purse of Euphie's lips, even the way she shifted her eyes down and away from meeting his own. "I have to get back to campus soon."

"Yeah,"

There wasn't anything else Lelouch could think to say. Euphie didn't belong there and they both knew it. She was too used to the massive hand that their father used to protect and constrict his children. She'd grown up with the lavish balls and parties, gotten any thing she'd wanted, never even needed to ask; been waited on since birth, and dressed like a little Britannian porcelain doll since day one. Unlike Lelouch and Nunnally she'd cleaved to her father the second her mother had separated from him. Lelouch gave a nod in acknowledgement of his thoughts. Euphie's pretty face and cheerful demeanor had helped out Charles's campaigns more than once in the past. It was the way it should be. Euphie would always have the comfortable lifestyle being a Britannia came with, because she had never had a mother like Marianne or a fight with their father or even questioned her family.

Lelouch looked straight down at the floor as Euphie just kept looking at the railing of the stairs. And without much else to be said it didn't take long before Lelouch heard the click of Euphie's footsteps back up the stairs and to Nunnally's room. She would probably be gone within an hour or so.

The phone still left in his pocket vibrated, and Lelouch reached in to pull it out and slide it open. 'New Voice Mail: Suzaku' strolled across the desktop of the phone. Lelouch looked at it for a long minute or so before he set the phone down on the floor, closed it, and watched as the screen dimmed. Even if he did call back, for once in Lelouch's life—he wasn't sure what he'd say.

* * *

><p>He was getting sick of this one sided phone tag. It was more like hide and seek and Suzaku wasn't getting any leads. He wanted to throw his phone against the wall of his office but instead he moodily swung back in his chair, tossing the phone on his desk to brood over the thing for a few more minutes.<p>

What was Lelouch's angle on this? Why couldn't he just answer Suzaku's call?

"It's just a damn phone call." Suzaku mumbled under his voice. That was all he wanted back. One phone call and if Lelouch wanted it over that was fine. Suzaku couldn't stop thinking how he just wanted an answer.

His fingers fumbled over the desktop until he got a good hold on the phone. He looked at it for a long few second before he flipped it open. He was not going to text Lelouch something after what had happened. Suzaku needed to call to talk about this. He couldn't do it over text, he refused to be that rude and insensitive to try anything over text. But he could just send a small message. Something to remind Lelouch that Suzaku was trying—

But he'd left voice mails. He'd left three at this point. It might be time to just quit. Give up and go home. But Suzaku—there was a part of him that never gave up on things. He never gave up on people and values and things. He couldn't let it die, because if he did there was no way he'd ever get himself to stop regretting it.

Suzaku tossed the phone back onto the desk. He was getting desperate, and it might just be better to let it all settle for a little longer. That didn't actually mean Suzaku wanted things to just settle…

"Major Kururugi?" an officer said as he poked his head in through the door a bit cautious as his hand knocked against the wooden door.

"Warrant Officer," Suzaku said in return, clearing his throat in an effort to clear his thoughts as well.

"Sir!" the man stepped into the room and stiffened into a salute.

"Warrant Officer," Suzaku repeated and barely noticed as the man relaxed. He started to riffle through the paper work that had been drowning him over the past week. "What do you need soldier," because the last thing Suzaku needed was to have to see to some mundane issue like recruiting again.

"Colonel Britannia wants to speak with you, sir."

His head snapped up as the words barely made it out of the man's mouth. "Again?" he realized that that probably wasn't the proper thing to say, but it was all he could think.

The chair gave a squeal of protest as Suzaku leaned back again. It wasn't like their first meeting had at all been somehow informative or even helpful on either end. Colonel Britannia had almost made Suzaku shit himself, but nothing else had really happened. She'd informed him of his own history and that was it. Any questions she had asked she had already known the answer, it wasn't like it was something about attraction. Hell, the whole base knew that Lieutenant Colonel Gilford was—well Suzaku wouldn't be surprised if Cornelia was the one that did the fucking in their relationship, but it was pretty plain there was a relationship there.

"Uhm, yes sir, again." the Warrant Officer stammered on.

Suzaku gave a huff of a sigh and reached behind him for the coat he'd hung on the back of his chair. "Well, tell her I'll be in momentarily." The moment he gathered this thoughts enough to be able to address a superior officer, he'd leave for her office. It was one thing to be blatantly informal with an inferior, but Suzaku was fine with casualties—most of his superior officers weren't. Bismarck had never liked it, but he had tolerated the small things but made sure they all stepped into line the moment it was needed. Cornelia—was an entirely different story. The minute details were her specialty, everything was to the letter of the law, nothing out of step or out of place.

"Yes sir!" the officer shouted as he dismissed himself.

"Okay." Suzaku said to himself. "Okay." He stood retrieved his coat, buttoning it up with care, smoothed over the front and took quick stock of his appearance, making sure it was good enough, before he went to the door and started to Cornelia's office. "Okay." Maybe the more he said it the more he'd believe it.

* * *

><p>"Why did you move?" Cornelia clearly wasn't a person that beat around the bush much.<p>

Suzaku sat there for a moment. Before nothing clicked officially and he figured he was allowed to further question. "Excuse me, ma'am?" moved where? For what? Why did he move back to the states? Well Bismarck was the answer to that.

"In Junior High, why did you move? Better yet where did you move to?" She was completely serious at this point. And it was the first time in Suzaku's life he couldn't see a way around answering that question.

He cleared his throat, thinking about how to answer before he just let it all spill out. "Me and my father didn't get along. He had different ideas about justice than I had."

She gave a curt nod. "And you lived..?"

"I lived in an apartment—It was cheap enough that if I saved I could afford the rent."Suzaku said with his head down, his hands clasped in his lap. There was no way to get around his answer and it was no secret that the Britannia family had certain—aspects about them that couldn't be over looked. They were the elite of the elitists, and the Senator Charles zi Britannia wasn't exactly quiet about his opinions, and Suzaku doubted his daughter would be as well.

"I see." She said. "You were self made from day one. " She never mumbled, it just wasn't something Cornelia ever did but she lowered her voice enough it perked Suzaku's interest. "And you lied on your transcript into high school."

"I didn't lie." Suzaku defended himself with an even tone. "My grandparents would have seen to anything that was wrong, just because I refused to live with them doesn't mean I couldn't consider them my legal guardians."

"And your address?" she hissed back.

It silenced Suzaku quick enough, smacking him back to reality and reminding him who he was talking to and that he was in no place to ever over step his bounds. Besides that, he didn't have an answer for that kind of question. He had lied. So he shut his mouth and looked down to the floor, hoping it was a clear sign of submission.

"My father always told me, show me your friend and I'll show you your future. The problem is I can't find your friends. All I have to go on is your past and that's a little hazy as well."

Suzaku didn't say anything, didn't even look up this time. He wasn't sure what he could say to make that better.

"You can leave now, Kururugi." She said as he leaned back in her chair, spinning just enough so she could look to the window behind her. "And expect to hear from me again."

"Yes ma'am." Suzaku said as he stood. He gave a quick salute before hurrying out of the room. If there was anything in his way it quickly got out of the way as Suzaku charge back to his office. It had been years since Suzaku had been broken down to that level over words. He hated it.

* * *

><p>They didn't speak this time as they sat out on the roof. C.c.s' eyes were appraising him and Lelouch could almost feel it in the prickle of his skin as the girl made as many assumptions as she wanted, over the darkening mark across his cheek.<p>

"Has she called at all?" C.c. asked.

"No." Lelouch said. He didn't raise his gaze to meet that of his friends. "She hasn't been home since." The words, thank god, were left unspoken.

"Euphie knows." It was a statement. "She came into student council twice this morning."

Licking his lips, Lelouch wasn't sure how to go on. "Yeah, uh, yeah, she was there."

C.c. raised her head up off her arms as she looked over at Lelouch. "I see. And did she say anything to you?" Her arms were still wrapped around her knees, and her hair still spooled over her shoulders and those sharp eyes were right on Lelouch as always.

"Not much. She suggested I move me and Nunnally back to the main house." Lelouch went on.

There was a certain understanding between C.c. and himself, which Lelouch couldn't quite define. He told her things he'd never told anyone. He confessed to things he'd never told anyone. And at the same time he never needed to confess. She was like him in a way and in enough of a way that she never asked questions. If she wanted answers she usually tried to find them out for herself. C.c. knew things about him because of that, things that he blamed on gym class or on his bad habits.

"Well?" her tone was sharp, wanting an answer she had to ask for.

Lelouch looked up at her. "I'm not moving us anywhere. I'm not moving back in with that man. I won't grovel at his feet." With a set jaw he looked back over to the railing. "Things with Charles only work in terms of gains. He gives me anything more than what he gives our mother and he will expect me to give to him at some point."

"Even as his child?"

Violet eyes narrowed. "Especially as his child."

* * *

><p>One letter. It stared at him across the table and glared at him every morning Suzaku came in to get coffee. It was starting to haunt him and he wasn't sure why. Suzaku watched the letter across from him, as if it might grow a large, shark toothed mouth and sic him.<p>

A part of him wanted to throw the letter away and just go to bed, but at the same time a part of him wanted to know what it said. He'd had it in his possession almost since day one back in the states. But that was the problem. The longer he kept the thing, the more he wanted to either open it or throw it away or send it back or just something! The thing was demanding action. That was the problem. He wanted to burn the letter, but he wanted to know what it said, and he wanted to know what it said, but he didn't want to give that man the satisfaction that he'd gotten to Suzaku and gotten him to actually pay attention to anything he said.

So the best option was burn it. …but Suzaku still wanted to know what it said!

His hand slammed down on the table and he used the leverage to shove himself upright and to his feet. He looked away from the letter, tossed his coffee mug into the sink and switched off the light as he went back to go to bed. His date wasn't calling him back, his superior officer was riding him harder than any officer had since boot camp, he'd gotten little to no sleep with the nightmares, and he really just wanted back into Bismarck's unit—a stupid letter should have been the least of his concerns.

* * *

><p>Lelouch glared at his sister. There were few times in Lelouch's life when he really truly glared at Euphie. But that night as she sat at in the formal dining room of his own home, with his two older brothers to her right, Lelouch directed that look to kill straight at his sister. That night she wasn't Euphie at all, she was Euphemia and first and foremost a Britannian.<p>

Around him the room was lit in a soft light, one that would hide the scrapes in the hard wood and the scuff marks around the furniture. Sayoko did a good job, as she always did, but there was only so much that could be done. There was still the proper airs in the wallpaper and the silver and the French cherry wood table. If no one looked at the details than nothing was amiss. But as Lelouch's eyes rested on Schneizel's sharp eyes and smug smile Lelouch already knew those icy blue eyes had picked up on every detail.

Lelouch hated to admit it though as he looked at his older brother Schneizel. He hated to admit Schneizel of all people knew what Lelouch told no one. Lelouch stood a little taller as he proceeded into the room. He set his coat over the back of one of the chairs as he stepped forward. The smell of coffee clung to his skin from work, but he'd left the dark green apron at work along with the name tag. His white shirt and slacks thankfully weren't as incriminating.

"Lelouch," Schneizel said as a greeting.

There was a chance that at some point Lelouch might have greeted back, but with Euphie standing just feet away, that anxious expression on her face, Lelouch knew exactly what this little house call was going to be about, and Lelouch wanted no part of it.

After a ringing silence allowed for enough time for the terms to be set and Lelouch to clearly not return the greeting, Odysseus spoke, "Have a seat, brother."

Lelouch opened his mouth, ready to retort that he'd rather stand, when Euphie caught his eye. She'd already seen enough embarrassing behavior in that house already and Lelouch wasn't going to have his sister see Lelouch get into another verbal confrontation with in one week's time.

He turned his head away to breathe as he pulled out the chair and slid into sit across from his two older brothers. His hands linked in his lap and he looked up slow to his siblings. Schneizel was smiling at him, that awful, terrible, vicious smile he always wore before he went after something he already considered his own.

"How are you?" Schneizel asked. "How is school going so far?"

Keeping up with pleasant conversations was the way that they worked, Lelouch reminded himself as he nodded. "We're doing fine. Nunnally is doing well at Ashford, as well as myself. As you can see there aren't any problems here that I can't take care of. "

"Nunnally is at Ashford now?" Odysseus followed up.

"Yes." Lelouch said. His eyes only fleeted to Odysseus's face for half a second before he focused back on icy blue eyes. "They have a several aides that help her with getting things in Braille, besides they let Sayoko freely on the grounds."

"Euphie," Schneizel spoke soft and charming as ever as he looked over his shoulder, "Would you mind getting us a bit of tea?"

They all knew that there was no reason to ask Euphie, Sayoko could have taken car of it, but none of them said a word as Euphie nodded and went to do as Schneizel asked.

"Oh, uhm yes of course." Her eyes fleeted to Lelouch before she stepped through the doorway and out of sight.

The door swung in her absence and Lelouch continued to watch the space she had formerly occupied, almost wishing she had stayed, just long enough to stay the storm that much longer.

"Euphie tells me you're getting started on college early." Schneizel went on in his same casual tone. "You're getting ready for ACT?"

He leaned back in his chair his arm resting askew on the arm rest. Lelouch hated the way he would do that. His shoulder's were spread wide with the action, showing every amount of dominance that Schneizel could squeeze out of one image. Schneizel was most of all, all about image. It had gotten him far as well. Unlike the rest of his family that went straight into politics of some sort Schneizel had as always, had taken a more creative method to control-business. And from the shine in his blond hair, down the pinstripes of a suit that cost more than Lelouch's monthly household budget to the perfectly polished leather shoes, Schneizel had become every bit of a more deadly predator in his chosen field.

"Yeah, I'm working on SAT's as well." Before Schneizel should ask Lelouch figured he should go ahead and go on. "I'm looking into Cornell or maybe Stanford."

An eyebrow arched at that. "Oh really? Both of those schools are a quite a good distance from home, Lelouch."

He didn't answer instead looking over to the clock.

"Well, you have a couple of years still ahead to choose." Odysseus said, trying to curb the tension in the room. "We have no doubt you'll make a good choice."

With a flick of his eyes Lelouch looked away from the walls back to his siblings. It would be considered rude but at the same time—"What do you want?" he locked eyes on to Schneizel again, this time confronting him with his own gaze instead of just watching. "Why are you two here?"

A smile quirked again as Schneizel leaned forward and rested a hand to lean against on the table. "The family is concerned."

"Euphie," Lelouch hissed under his voice. "She had no right—"

"Euphie is concerned as well," Schneizel politely interjected. He held his hand up to try and qualm Lelouch. "Don't blame her, we would have found out what Marianne was doing here anyway."

The scrap of the chair across the floor was the only sound as Lelouch stood. "Get out." Lelouch growled. They'd known, they'd known from day one what Marianne had done to her children the second Charles turned her out. His father had even to an extent given her the money and Lelouch still had a hunch he was still giving her money and if he wasn't she sure as hell knew where to find it, even if it was right off of her children. They knew, and Lelouch hated it when any of them lied to him about it.

"We're here became our father is concerned, Lelouch." Odysseus spoke up again.

Not sparing a glance in his eldest brother's direction Lelouch placed his hands on the table to look Schneizel square in the eyes. "I said get out."

Those blue eyes only blinked, resting closed for just a moment before Schneizel looks up at him, looked up at Lelouch like he was a child throwing a temper tantrum over a piece of candy. "Lelouch, please take a seat. I would like to have a civil conversation with you."

Euphie came in the door then. The silver tray in her hands she kept her eyes down as she set the tray onto the table top. The clank of china sounded as she went to disperse the cup among the three men. Before she could get the first cup out Schneizel placed his hand upon hers.

"That will be fine Euphie." It was a clear message. Schneizel was just like their father in many ways and one of those ways was that he held the family to a certain standard. He wasn't about to let Euphie lower herself enough to act like a common maid.

"Oh alright," Euphie said with a small smile before she stood and giving a polite dip of her head fleeted through the door again. This time she didn't need an order from her older brothers.

Lelouch's eyes settled on the china. It was real—and valuable, along with the silver tray and utensils. He quirked a smile. Sayoko had been a lot of help to he and Nunnally. When their mother had started to ransack the house for valuables she'd acted without even a peep. The house may be in need of a good polish and repair but there was still value, hidden where the very wise maid knew the Mistress of the house would never find any of it. Painting and tapestries, the china, silver, candelabra's, books, jewels even, had all disappeared over night. With Marianne's head always s in focus of one thing she'd never noticed the changes. Each time she came home she would take more, but what she never noticed was that more had just disappeared.

He could have scolded Sayoko for never telling him where the things in the house were but through the years he had learned that Sayoko knew exactly where everything in the house was and she knew that at certain times it still had to be brought out—made to look like their home was as filthy rich as any other Britannian home.

Lelouch's eyes fleeted to the walls, bare. The wallpaper was expensive enough, but Lelouch doubted Sayoko had had enough time to find a painting to make the room look indulgent. She had found the china though, and the silver, or at least enough of it to hopefully fool Lelouch's family into leaving.

With that very thought in mind, that trickery the whole house had been playing over Charles's eyes for years Lelouch took up his seat again. Getting angry was very Britannian, _acting_ angry on the other hand.

Schneizel nodded to him, quirking a smile of his own. Lelouch didn't smile back. He could hear it wafting off of his brother's countenance the clear impression of: I win, Lelouch. I win.

"This is quite excellent tea, Lelouch." Odysseus said. "As always that maid of yours is quite the cook."

They didn't say anything. Lelouch was happy enough to let Odysseus just sit there and sip at the tea, enjoy the ride a while, watching Schneizel do his job.

"Indeed," Schneizel lied through the pleasantry, his tea still sat in front of him, untouched. "You know Lelouch our father has talked about you recently. He'd talked about maybe taking you on as an intern at his office. Wouldn't that be an opportunity of a lifetime?"

Lelouch was realizing just how long he'd been away for his family. Dealing with his mother he'd become accustom to actual fighting, yelling, screaming, insulting, even physical violence if she was desperate enough. He'd forgotten what it was like to disagree with his eldest brother and not be able to get angry about it to his face, not be able to call him out for what Lelouch knew he was, for the con he was trying to pull over Lelouch's eyes.

"I'm afraid I wouldn't have time." Lelouch gave as polite of an answer as he could.

"Oh yes," Schneizel said. "Especially with that little coffee shop job of yours."

Violet eyes flicked up at that.

"Yes, Lelouch we know all about that little job of yours. To your credit we didn't find out until about three months ago. It would have taken us longer if you hadn't of chosen somewhere so close to Cornelia's post." Schneizel leaned back in his chair, comfortable with the tone of the conversation now as he went on. "Our sister has made a lot more progress than I would have ever thought there. Not for herself, I never doubted that, but she's gotten quite a few recruits there as well. She is working on a couple now she thinks might be able to help father's career along."

His eyes down again Lelouch looked off towards the table. He wanted to ask why Schneizel always felt the need to fill Lelouch in on the things he never wished to hear, but instead he just nodded.

"I'm sure Euphie has already told you, but she's doing quite well also, her student teaching is almost through and we're working on getting her to go back for a doctorate, it'll be best for her."

Lelouch looked up, his mouth forming a hard line.

"You see, everyone in this family gets it Lelouch. We give you opportunities and you take them, because that's how it works. We succeed as a whole."

…or we each die alone? Lelouch couldn't stand to look into those icy blue eyes anymore. "I'm fine where I'm at." Forcing himself to look up, Lelouch didn't smile. "I quite enjoy working there. It fits me." –as a Lamprouge.

Schneizel sat forward again. "Lelouch,"

"I'm asking politely this time if you would please leave my home. Nunnally should be in bed by now and I have homework." Lelouch stood, slowly this time to show his eldest brothers to the door. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your own families."

Schneizel had no family—he had Kanon, the little weasel that did all the really dirty work, but Odysseus had married some little pea-brained of a girl and had followed dutifully along the steps their father had laid out for him. From the look of the suits Odysseus was starting to wear and the way he'd been shaping up his family—"Good luck with your campaign Odysseus."

As he said it Lelouch locked eyes with icy blue eyes. He let a smile spread across his pretty face and gestured to show the two men out.

"Oh! Well thank you, Lelouch." Odysseus said as he stood, going to shake Lelouch's hand in a brotherly kind of way.

Accepting wasn't so much of an option as it was a priority so Lelouch gave Odysseus a different kind of smile and even suffered through a pat on the back goodbye, leading the man to the door.

Schneizel wasn't so quick to latch onto Lelouch's shut down of the conversation. He had stood from the table but walked slow as he continued into the entryway. He tugged on his coat and flipped the scarf over the back of his neck, taking his time with the act before facing Lelouch.

Lelouch just smiled back, holding his arm out towards the door in a gesture to set the statement that this was Lelouch's home still; he did have the right to not oblige his brothers. It was easier said than done though, Lelouch reminded himself as Schneizel strode closer to him.

"I'm sure our little sister is doing well?" Schneizel asked for the first time about Nunnally as his fingers pulled the coat closer to him, buttoning it up.

Shoulders tensing Lelouch watched his brother as he answered. "She is doing well." He forced himself to continue to watch his brother instead of glancing up the stairs to Nunnally's room.

"And her health?" Schneizel's handsome smile didn't falter as he looked up at Lelouch, watching Lelouch for anything he could glean from the conversation. Lelouch knew because he himself was doing the same thing.

"She's fine. Sayoko has helped out with her a lot. Nunnally's been doing well under her care." Keeping his tone as even as he could Lelouch chanced a glance to his other brother.

Odysseus stood at the door, his face blank and just as confused. It was clear the purpose of this visit had been to convince Lelouch of something, whatever that was, and that Odysseus looked to think that that message had been delivered. Quickly, Lelouch focused back on to Schneizel, his eyes narrowing.

"I see. And her schooling?" Schneizel went on with a pleasant smile.

"As always, Nunnally is paying great attention to her studies." Quickly, Lelouch tried to think where his sister was at that moment. She should have been upstairs, preparing for bed. But there was only one set of stairs in the house and Sayoko hadn't gone up them as long as Lelouch had been home, so there was no way that Nunnally would be in bed like she should have been. Lelouch just needed to hurry this up so he could be free to go and check on her.

"Of course," Schneizel said, but he stepped closer to Lelouch, letting his hand rest at Lelouch's elbow, as if he were going to guide his brother through some traumatic event. "I do worry about her safety though, here. With Marianne acting how she has as of late I'm not sure she is best off staying here."

Livid—that was the only thing that Lelouch could feel immediately coursing through his veins. He looked away. Lelouch felt he had to look away as he clamped his mouth shut, the muscles along his jaw tightening to the point of pain. Bet he couldn't keep his gaze down, he couldn't just let this grievance just go. His violet eyes gave a sharp upturn and bore up at his larger brother. Lelouch let that gaze so full of utter rage broil and burn right up at that man, letting Schneizel know exactly how Lelouch felt over the matter. His body tensed and Lelouch forced his arm out of Schneizel's grasp in a firm but subtle movement.

And that bastard was smiling back at him. His voice was even and just as pleasant. "Well, it is getting quite late. Thank you for having us, Lelouch." With a single step Schneizel backed away from Lelouch's now taunt form and casually let his expression turn smug.

"Euphemia," Odysseus called through the entryway.

She must have been ready because almost upon the very instance the first syllable of her name was out she was coming out through the kitchen, A fashionable pea coat already on her shoulders as she came through the dinning room to join the rest of her family. With a sweet smile Odysseus held out his arm and she took it without needing any more prompting. She didn't say anything. She didn't need to say anything as for the first time since had reentered her eyes lifted just enough that Lelouch could catch her glance. Euphemia immediately looked back down to her petite little shoes.

Odysseus gave a fake pleasant smile as he opened the door. "It has been so lovely to see you again, brother. Father will love to hear that you are doing well."

If it was possible, Lelouch felt his chest feeling even more with that same hot rage. He should have known they would be reporting straight back to his father. It was becoming quite clear exactly what their intentions in Lelouch's house had been. There wasn't any concern, just like there never would be or had been, there was just another change for his brother to get gain.

Lelouch stepped forward as Odysseus let himself out the door, pulling on his coat as he did so, and guiding Euphie along with him.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" Euphie said as she turned once they were down the stairs and on the walkway. Her hand still tucked around Odysseus' elbow and her other hand clasped at the collar of her pea coat, holding it close to her face. Her soft eyes were looking up at Lelouch, pleading in that soft pale lavender.

For one moment Lelouch could feel the rage release as he looked at his older sister. Lelouch was reluctant as he stepped forward to the threshold of the doorway but he pursed his lips as he gave Euphemia a single definite nod. It was enough for a small though worried smile to break on her lips as she turned letting Odysseus lead her to the car.

Unfortunately Schneizel stepped closer, this time laying both hands on his brother. He came up behind him, resting his hands over the peaks of Lelouch's shoulders. Lelouch could feel the brush of Schneizel's soft hair against his own, could sense the radiating heat from his brother's body as he was forced to lean over to speak in his brothers ear. It was insulting how small Lelouch felt at that moment. Lelouch's eyes moved down, his own shadow was completely blotted out, and in its place was Schneizel—the looming lumbering and broad form of his brother completely encompassed Lelouch's own shadow.

"It's been an eventful evening."

Lelouch could feel the rolling heat of Schnitzel's breath over the skin at his cheek. It was so hot Lelouch had to turn his head, had to get away somehow from the scolding feeling across his senses. It felt like Marianne had struck him again, Lelouch could feel the sting as the back of her hand made contact across his face—this time it was different though. There was the bite of his words, the sing of Schneizel's arrogance, and the fear of what Schneizel would do to him.

"I'm sure you will take what I have said into consideration—and that you will make the right decision," his voice wasn't of velvet or even toned this time. It was rolling, deep and commanding. It was a voice Lelouch knew Schneizel used when he wanted him to listen very carefully. "You need to consider your own situation as well as that of Nunnally's."

Then his brother was brushing past Lelouch. Then Schneizel was sliding his hands away from Lelouch and sliding out the door to follow Odysseus. Then there was just Lelouch left in that doorway, his eyes were lingering on the silhouette spanning across the steps. With the light of the house behind, Lelouch could perfectly see his own shadow now, could see his own slight frame. The impression of his brothers shadow fresh in his thoughts Lelouch could do nothing but look down at his narrow set shoulders and shallow chest and sneer with his rage.

When Lelouch finally had the gall to look up, again he caught one more flash of steel blue, cold eyes and a smug smile as Schneizel slid into the back of the car, Odysseus doing the same on the opposite side.

Before the driver had time to make it down the street Lelouch pivoted, storming back into his own house he left the door open as he charged back into the dining room to retrieve his jacket. He flung it over his shoulders, shoving his arms through sleeves and with a violent movement fitted the fabric over his shoulders.

"Sir?" Sayoko stood in the entryway. Her hands were down, clasped in front of her as she looked onto her employer.

"I'll be late tonight." Lelouch hissed as he strode past her on his way to the door. The leather jacket hugged his form as his shoulders hunched, Lelouch unwilling to make eye contact with his maid.

"Sir," Her tone was louder, much more firm this time. There was no sound as she turned watching him from at the doorway.

It did stop Lelouch. "Make sure Nunnally gets to bed, she'll get sick if she stays up too late." And with that he was charging his way through the doorway, his stride long as he descended the steps.

His eyes straight ahead, all that ran through Lelouch's head was those words, the snide and casual way his brother let his body press down over Lelouch's. His thoughts were completely consumed with those icy blue eyes mocking him. Lelouch could only think of how his brother were probably already on the phone with his father. His mind wrapped around how his sister had been so submissive to their every command. She had acted upon every beck and call Schneizel would give. White hot with rage he could think of nothing else but the haughty way his family had come to his home and left in the same manner. They thought they owned him! It was his home, his family there and his things—and they had acted like he should come crawling back to them like a-

"I know."

This time Lelouch truly stopped. It became clear that Sayoko wasn't speaking to him as a maid would speak to her master. Lelouch heard the sound of his shoes scrape to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk in the middle of his front yard. When he turned he found Sayoko coming down the steps to him.

"I will take care of her." Sayoko assured, promised. She stepped forward to pull Lelouch's jacket up around his neck, to help block out the cold. "This house will be fine." When she finished she let her hands drop but did not drop her eyes.

Lelouch felt the sigh as he gave it, and he nodded.

"Now, I will make sure Nunnally knows that you are safe and that you will be there for her in the morning." Sayoko went on her eyes still looking straight up at Lelouch. "I will clean up and tomorrow night we will talk about this. If the mistress is to return, I'm starting to believe we need some sort of backup plan."

Lelouch only nods, knowing that Sayoko is only echoing his own thoughts. They couldn't let their mother just keeping taking and taking—soon they wouldn't have anything left. It didn't matter that the bank accounts were locked and sealed against her, It didn't matter that the silver was hidden or that more and more things were being moved to the attic. The family was getting involved, meaning there had to be some sort of change in how Lelouch and Sayoko were handling the tense relationship with the 'mistress' of the house.

Done giving her message Sayoko turned and went back up the step to the door. "And Lelouch," Sayoko rarely said his name, but when she did—Lelouch knew he should listen.

It almost hurt to raise his eyes knowing what he'd almost done, what he's wanted to do—but he looked up to his maid.

"Please don't dirty any dishes if you get home late. The longer they sit in the sink the harder they are to clean in the morning." Sayoko sighed before she continued into the house, closing the door behind her with a quiet click.

And with that Lelouch was left in the middle of his front yard. He looked down at his feet before reluctant but feeling the flare of his anger—even put at bay from Sayoko—he pulled his phone from his back pocket. He had three voice mail messages. Not a one had he check. Lelouch didn't even bother now either and just raised the phone to his ear as he turned to the street again.

* * *

><p>One thing that had to go was the air mattress. If nothing else in his apartment went it was the air mattress. Suzaku couldn't exactly say he'd gone shopping for furniture. He had a couch and a table and a couple of chairs, a dresser—but the air mattress had to go! He wasn't sure where he was going to be able to find a proper bed or even have the time to move it into his apartment. But damn it all he was sick of slowly sinking to the floor every night!<p>

It was uncomfortable besides, the covers a mess around him and three extra pillows to try and help the issue of comfort, Suzaku had finally achieved sleep. It was a long process usually. Not that he was extra picky over anything he just—wanted a bed. It could have been the fact he was back in the states—he expected things like Starbucks, and cell phones and a comfortable bed at night. That was probably the exact reason. He had gotten himself a proper cell phone, he'd been to Starbucks several times, and now he felt robbed of a comfortable bed!

But he was asleep. He didn't have to think about the superior officer that was interrogating him or even the air mattress—he was in blissful numb sleep. At least until—

His eyes didn't even open at the sound of his default ring. It was almost instinctive for him to immediately reach for it without having to be fully awake. It was hard to teach an old dog new tricks and within half a second Suzaku had the phone flipped open and to his ear.

"This is Kururugi."

There was a moment of silence. There was no relay of orders, or coordinates of target, or even a voice he considered that of comrade. And then there was an answer. "…Suzaku?"

His eyes flew open and he was on his side in half a second, making sure he was awake this time. It very well could have been a dream for all he knew.

"Le—Lelouch?" Suzaku had to make sure. It had been two days since Suzaku had given up on ever hearing from the other boy again. He had thought that it was completely over. It wasn't like he'd had a star performance on their first date anyway. "What time—" his fingers toppled things over in his search for the alarm clock he knew was there—somewhere. Finally he found it, jerking the small box up to see the red numbers looking up at him. "Oh…" It definitely wasn't the most typical of time to be calling, but Suzaku wasn't going to be picky.

"Yeah." Lelouch sighed on the other end. "I know it's not exactly the right time—I just…"

Suzaku could hear it. It was s faint in Lelouch's voice. But Suzaku knew it when he heard it. It was in the way Lelouch was letting himself jumble his words. In the way his voice sounded weak.

"If it's too late, I mean I didn't—this isn't just a, you know…" It was the first time Suzaku had ever heard Lelouch in such a state. It was a scatter of words and a fragment in thoughts almost. Suzaku hated to admit it, but he knew how helpless that felt. "I know what this must sound like… But believe me, I'm not like that."

"I know, Lelouch." Suzaku said as he searched again, this time for his keys. "Where are you?"

* * *

><p>"Thank you." Lelouch said yet again as Suzaku made sure Lelouch sat down at his table. There were only two chairs set on opposite sides of the linoleum table.<p>

"Yeah." Suzaku said. He had already turned to the coffee machine.

From the moment Suzaku had seen the younger boy now seated in his kitchen, Suzaku hadn't really known what to say. It could be said that this was some form of turnabout. If the angry Suzaku, the Suzaku ready to strike that Lelouch had seen that night had been Suzaku's worst this Lelouch—shoulders slumped, eyes not moving from the floor—this Lelouch must have been the flip side of the coin.

Suzaku took out a couple of mugs, filling them before he turned. "It's decaf." It was way too early in the morning and a good few hours before Suzaku had to be up for work so caffeine wasn't something that Suzaku was in any need of.

Lelouch nodded. "Thank you." It was probably the first time that night that Lelouch looked up, tipping his chin just enough for Suzaku to finally see Lelouch enough to catch a moment of eye contact.

It was a harsh movement, but as the light fell over Lelouch's pale skin Suzaku could see just enough of a bruise his hand reacted first and he grasped Lelouch's chin, tipping his head up even more. This time, his hair slid back from his face and those violet eyes widened for just a moment as Suzaku focused on the revealed discoloration across Lelouch's cheek bone.

"What happened?" Suzaku asked, his own eyes were searching the mark. He'd never had much medical training so he wasn't sure if there was even much to do for the bruise at that point.

A sneer on his face, Lelouch hissed out his answer. "I fell down the stairs." And just to add insult to injury Lelouch jerked his head, escaping Suzaku's hold on him.

Clearly, there were still some issues between them. "Fine," the growl back rumbled in his chest as Suzaku turned away. He snatched his own mug of coffee and slumped into the chair opposite to drink it in silence.

Across the table, Lelouch's finger stroked thee smooth surface of the coffee mug handle. When he finally looked up from his cup he locked Suzaku in a hard stare. "Who was that man?"

His face scrunched. "Who?" Suzaku's mouth hung open for just a moment even he was so confused.

"In the alleyway, who was that man who spoke to us?" Lelouch's voice was stronger, louder this time.

A sigh was the first thing that came through Suzaku's open mouth. "I don't know." He closed his eyes, letting his body slump in the chair and leaning his head back on the top of the chair. He set his coffee on the table and waited for the bad to just get worse.

"Fine," Lelouch mimicked back to him.

And silence. Again.

After a moment of realizing he couldn't just fall asleep like that Suzaku sat up to see the coffee he didn't want to drink and the boy who had wanted his help, but now refused to do anything but start a fight again. Then there was the letter. It stared up at him from the linoleum table top.

Suzaku had had enough and picked up the letter, chucking it to the counter as he got up from his seat. The coffee was set on the counter near the sink and Suzaku let the letter skid into the dark corner next to the fridge.

"Junk mail?" Lelouch asked.

It spooked Suzaku that his tone wasn't biting for a moment so much that he almost didn't answer. His head craned back behind him, to see that Lelouch was looking back at him at that point, he wasn't glaring at least that time around.

"Something like that."

He looked away sharp, back down to his coffee that he wasn't drinking either.

Suzaku gave a sigh. It was four hours until he had to be up and ready for a eight hour work day. Whatever amount of sleep he could get would be in his best interest at that point in his life, and he didn't need to waste that time on conversation that was going nowhere, and company that he barely got along with. And the last part was becoming very clear to Suzaku.

But it wasn't in Suzaku to just kick the boy out. "Look, I just have an air mattress right now, but—I have to go to bed, Lelouch. I'll take the couch just in case you want to stay, but I can't stay up with you right now."

A nod again, "Aright."

Suzaku nodded back, his arms crossed over his chest. He was still in pajama's and he knew he owned a blanket in the closet so there wasn't much reason to stay in the room with Lelouch. So with another nod Suzaku pushed off from the counter.

He was past the table before he felt Lelouch reach out. It was a light grasp at his wrist, but Suzaku froze at the contact.

"Thank you." Lelouch said again, this time his eyes were on Suzaku, but not pinning him for an answer, or wanting anything from him, or even watching for a reaction. Lelouch was looking at him this time to just convey his own message.

"Y-yeah." Suzaku stumbled out an answer.

Lelouch's hand fell away and his fingers curled around the handle of the coffee mug.

With that Suzaku turned to his living room. He pulled a blanket from the closet and searched for a pillow to find none and resurface to see the kitchen cleared. Both mugs of coffee were in the sink and the light was off. Suzaku wasn't interested enough to go see if Lelouch had taken his offer and instead laid down on his couch to try and finish the night out.

* * *

><p>The air mattress was horrible. It was the first time in Lelouch's life that he had even tried to sleep on an air mattress and he was not impressed. After tossing and turning for a good while Lelouch had to admit it was a losing battle. He took a pillow with him then as he crept through the apartment. It was more than likely a bad idea what he wanted, and he knew that they weren't really—okay so they kind of hated each other at that point, but—<p>

But Lelouch had turned to Suzaku, and Suzaku had been there. If actions really did speak louder than words that one action had thundered through the small bond the two of them had.

So there Lelouch was, trying to sneak his way into the living room without letting Suzaku know that Lelouch wanted to sleep next to him. Lelouch was trying very hard to not think of it as creepy. Suzaku have been very chivalrous and let Lelouch have the air mattress in the bedroom, so in all fairness Lelouch should have just been happy and stayed there until Suzaku got up and left. He wasn't though, and that selfish part of him had flared at the idea that he might be able to sleep wrapped in Suzaku's arms. That idea had consumed him in place of all thoughts of that night and Lelouch found Suzaku sprawled out on the couch. The blanket was trailed across the floor, making it easy for Lelouch to lift it and try and slide onto the bit of space that was free.

"Lelouch?" it was raspy and groggy, and unfortunately it meant that as stealthy as Lelouch had tried to be—Suzaku was awake.

"Yeah…" Lelouch breathed. He wasn't sure what else he should say, 'hi' certainly didn't sound like the best option.

Suzaku slid up on his elbow, a corner of the blanket flapping back to reveal a tanned shoulder. A blush spread on Lelouch's face as he averted his gaze only to find the discarded shirt on the floor.

"I'm sorry." Lelouch started. "I didn't realize…"

There was another sigh from Suzaku. "Lelouch—just… come here."

An arm hooked around Lelouch's neck and jerked him down next to Suzaku on the couch. Almost immediate Lelouch could feel the warmth from Suzaku's bare chest. That arm curled around him as Suzaku slid back down.

"Good, you brought a pillow." Suzaku grumbled and relieved Lelouch of the mass of fluff.

He pounded it into the crack between the cushion and the couch arm before he laid his head on it. Lelouch had to admit that he was just thankful Suzaku didn't call him out on how abnormal it was to crawl in next to the boy he'd been ignoring for the past week, let alone how he'd treated him within the last hour.

"Suzaku…" Lelouch started, leaning in to press against that great warmth.

"Shut up." Suzaku grumbled. He turned just enough to be able to look at Lelouch as he spoke. "I have to get up in three hours. I need sleep, Lelouch."

It was Lelouch's time to sigh. "Alright," He could at least understand that. Lelouch did have school himself in the morning, not nearly as early but he still had to make it home in time to get a uniform for school. Conceding Lelouch let his head settle into the pillow. He had no idea what tomorrow would hold but whatever it was, Lelouch at least now knew someone would be there.

* * *

><p>One more chapter and a bit more spice in this one, instead of the sugar. But I hope that you guys liked it and will keep reading. Until next time.<p>

EDIT: I did take out chapter two. It was a waste of words. No plot progression what so every—yeah it was just not in the same lines of the mood of this story so I removed it. Also, if you have tried to reveiw and FF . net will not let you I am sorry. I thought that the reviews would be deleted along with the chapter, but apparently not. So if you're unable to reveiw, don't feel bad! It's my fault for reorganizing haha.

~Reviews are Awesome~


	4. Playing the Game

**Special Thanks: Atheist1, Courage-Winds, .line, ****luckless-is-me, Lelouch Vi Masters, Satanic Tiger Bunnie of Doom, Yuzuki Inohara, Mystline Roulette, XxJewelxX, KuroChaos01, Shane, Lovegranted, Allora Gale**

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><p>Chapter Four<p>

3/24/2012 7:18 PM

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><p>The first time Lelouch had privately crossed paths with his elder bother by eight years, Schneizel, Lelouch was seven. The Britannian estate was big, but no house was big enough to house all the children from five different mothers. There was little to no precedence for it either from Lelouch's own mother. No one liked to be reminded that they could be deemed useless at any time and toss out like the rest to come before.<p>

Lelouch was a quiet child. Bossy and quick tempered, but to his own credit—he was quiet. Talking was after all the only thing that anyone in the estate did. The help whispered among themselves. The other children giggled and chattered on. Nunnally had just learned the art of really holding up a conversation and though very small, and weak and at a far disadvantage managed to draw conversation out of anyone that would see to her. Lelouch's own mother had a knack for never shutting up, always going on and on, desperate to hold Charles attention just a bit longer.

But that was not the case of the small boy with the big, luminous violet eyes of his father. Lelouch preferred to sit alone, and to watch. The world around him moved at such a speed, with such velocity. He preferred to seek out the pattern where everyone else seemed to only recognize chaos.

The lush indoor gardens of the west wing, at least during the day, remained for the most part unoccupied. It was the perfect place for a Lelouch to escape the constant chatter.

Rounding the corner in the path, Lelouch was already opening the book in hand. Reading like the violin, or his silver tongued charm had come effortless, like it was a natural groove that only required Lelouch's attention to polish into perfection. It wasn't until there was a break in the greenery and Lelouch ducked out from under a low hanging fern that he realized he wasn't alone.

Sitting at the small iron framed table was Schneizel el Britannia.

Like Lelouch he was dressed in a suit tailored to fit him. Unlike Lelouch the suit was a soft light blue color, the cravat pin at Schneizel's throat a deep sapphire. Like Lelouch his hair had been neatly parted and combed. Unlike Lelouch it was the perfect blonde every woman dreamed of having, and waved at his ears adding to an already developing handsome charm. Like Lelouch immediately Schneizel focused his eyes, seeming to size up the new prospects first. Unlike Lelouch, Schneizel's did not own his father's eyes.

No, Lelouch would never in his wildest dreams be able to forget Schneizel's eyes. There were almost solid in color, like beams of fresh light under those thick blonde eyelashes. They were like looking into the arctic barrens of the world, giving that glacteral gaze power enough to freeze anyone.

Lelouch still remembered the sharp intake of breathe he took upon making eye contact with those eyes. He remembered that he had stopped, his feet frozen in place.

Neither of them spoke.

Schneizel was the one to move, flicking his eyes over the appearance of his younger brother. They had met in formal terms, exchanging names, and acknowledging that they were of the same linage, nothing more in their relationship had ever developed. This was different. This was with no supervision of adults or the leering eyes of their father or the tutts of disproval from their respective mothers. This was uncharted territory.

With effortless grace that Lelouch would learn in later years, Schneizel reached out his hand and plucked a piece from the chess board on the table. He offered out the black king to Lelouch, the piece resting in his palm.

"Would you like to play with me?" Schneizel's voice would always be the thing that melted the frigid truth of his gaze. With eyes like frozen daggers it was only a matter of survival that Schneizel leaned to drop his the sound of his voice into warm tones of honey.

It took Lelouch a moment, but without a word he stepped forward and accepted the chess piece. If he was to learn to play the game, he figured he might as well learn from the best.

* * *

><p>Suzaku had to admit that of all the things that Cornelia's office was—comfortable was never one of those things. And yet here he was again, half awake and trying to think of what on earth Cornelia would have left to talk about.<p>

She never beat around the bush, she never even attempted at small talk, and this time was no different. Suzaku looked up as Cornelia tossed a plastic evidence bag onto the desk, purposefully right in plain sight of Suzaku. It was at least ten years old give or take a few years. But that didn't change the black incrusted blood along the blades edge.

"So tell me, where did you learn to fight with a knife." Cornelia said with a stead voice, folding her hands in front of her, leaning her elbows on the desk.

Suzaku's eyes were on the blade in that evidence bag. It was a kitchen knife. He could feel the muscles in his jaws contract and tighten. Eyes were already wide so there was nothing else to do but stare as the worst that could have possibly happened happen. His dominate right hand flexed, hidden from view with the desk, fisting tight as memory seeped through the cracks of his composure.

"Enlighten me, Major Kururugi, why was it that you moved out of your father's house at fourteen?" More questions. It was always more questions anymore when it came to Coronel Britannia. The worst was that most of the time she never seemed to want an answer and if she did it was an answer Suzaku was sure she already knew far in advance.

Suzaku didn't shake his gaze. The knife still had the thin trace of where a hand had been at one point. It was where a much smaller, but still a broad hand, that had grasped that knife. His eyes flicked down to his hand in his lap, still tightly fisted.

"Those—my minor records are sealed." Suzaku said as he looked up, locking a steady gaze onto his superior's face.

"That wasn't an answer to my question." Cornelia went on. She stared right back at Suzaku.

The chair scrapped against the floor as Suzaku stood. "Those records are sealed." Suzaku growled.

Cornelia sat back in her chair. "Sit down, Kururugi." She sighed heavy.

There was a minute where Suzaku didn't move at all. He just stared at the Cornel, but it didn't last and as Suzaku always did, eventually he followed orders. He didn't get comfortable, sitting on the edge of the chair while he still continued to watch to see Cornelia's next move.

"You know, when Bismarck suggested you, I told him he was crazy." Cornelia said as she leaned forward to open the drawer of her desk. He pulled out photo prints that she held in her hands, examining them herself. "There is no use for an out of control soldier, especially one that is so highly trained and well armed as you." Her eyes ran over the photos one more time before she set the photos onto the desk for Suzaku to catch a glimpse.

If the knife had set him on edge—the second he saw that girls face, dead green eyes staring back at him, Suzaku shrunk back, his mouth snapped and locked shut as the nightmares ran through his head. How did they get these pictures? No one was there, no one but his partner, Gino. Not that he or Gino could remain quiet about what had happened. The entire mission had gone wrong from the moment the target had set the place ablaze. That still didn't account for photos. The only images Suzaku had ever though made it out of there had been the ones imprinted in his memory.

"Now I'm going to ask you one more time, why did you leave your father's house at fourteen years old?"

Suzaku's mouth hung open just slightly, slack as his eyes just continued to widen. Was this really happening? There was no way that this—Suzaku was good at his job. He repeated it so many times over in his head. If there was no other use for him in the world it was that he was so goddamned good at his job. This couldn't—this couldn't be happening to him. His entire life was a mess but this—and now…

"I—" Suzaku's voice didn't shake. He just couldn't think past what was happening. What excuse was there to give for his actions as a boy?

"Why did a child run away and why did his father not go after him?"

There was nothing that Suzaku could answer. There was nothing to say that would change the mind of Cornelia. How could he have explained a lifetime in a matter of minutes? There was too much to tell, too much that Cornelia would never understand! So in the end, Suzaku closed his eyes and admitted defeat, looking down to the carpet.

"I am sorry, ma'am. I won't make excuses for myself." His tone was level. His eyes stayed glued o the floor. If he hadn't been taught all his military career no tot slouch he would have been leaned over his knee. He felt nauseated—his throat dry and his mouth tasted disgusting. He swallowed hard to get he disdainful taste from his mouth, but it didn't help.

"Leave." Cornelia said, skipping al formalities to turn back to her own work without a second glance in Suzaku's direction.

Suzaku was surprised that it didn't come out as a hiss directed at him, but never the less he complied. His face coming out of Cornelia's office, and carefully shutting the door behind him must have been sight enough, because all the way back to his office not a soul spoke to him.

* * *

><p>"Lelouch!" one of the barista girls called to him from the cash register.<p>

Lelouch looked up from the cappuccino in progress to see what he was needed for now. Unlike other when Lelouch was tires all he really noticed was that he was easily irritable. He bit out sarcastic comments faster and snapped at anyone questioning his actions.

"There is someone here to see you." The girl said as she rolled her eyes, clearly unhappy to be ht her job.

With a purse of his lips Lelouch looked back down to the coffee cup in hand. Schneizel had warned him they knew where he worked, so it wasn't surprising they decided to make house calls so soon. Lelouch hated to think it but he had a hunch he was the family's new charity project. Or the worse scenario was that they just believed that Lelouch was being selfish and fickly with his aversion to accept what he should have, either way he was going to have to get used to people trailing his steps.

"Tell them I'll be there in just second." Lelouch said not looking up.

He took his time finishing up with the order. Keeping his hands occupied made it easier for Lelouch to think. They were tightening the noose around him. He breathed slow. If it was a war they wanted Lelouch would have to remember what it was like, have to remember that with these people the only way to win was to slip out of their fingers, to out think them and be amply prepared.

Lelouch looked up, handing the cup off for pick up. He'd have to try and figure out a way around this, why dancing he fine line of getting out from under his mothers notice as well.

When Lelouch came out to go around the counter he looked for pinstripe suits and smooth charming smiles. Looking around he turned to the girl, "Where…?"

She just pointed with and impatient gesture to the windows at the front of the side café. When he looked in the direction, immediately he let out a sigh of relief a slight smile even touching his lips. Almost a silhouette in the bright light of mid day coming in, Suzaku stood facing the window. He was in his uniform still, as always looked like he tried to calm the mass of curls down and of course failed.

As Lelouch approached he didn't speak. It wasn't until Lelouch was at Suzaku's side that the older boy looked at him.

"Hey," Suzaku breathed, a weak smile tugging at his lips.

Neither of them moved to touch. After sleeping in the same—couch with no qualms a few nights before, there wasn't the need to always reinstate that they liked each other any longer. Besides they were in public, not that it matter much. It was just a relaxation between them. Not that they had lulled into any type of pattern. They had just both realized that for once—it was real. They had both seen a darker side of the other—and they had still managed to somehow still want each other.

"I didn't know if you would be here." Suzaku chuckled. He looked away and down.

Lelouch cocked his head as he took a step closer, possibly standing too close for an ordinary friend. "Consider yourself lucky then." Lelouch gave a glance over his shoulder to the counter. "I'm off in half an hour." He paused not sure if he was crossing other boundaries before he went on, "wait for me?"

Suzaku looked up, this time giving a flash of that breathtaking smile, eyes crinkling into it for the first time as they spoke.

Blushing Lelouch gave his own smile back.

"I can't."

Lelouch's head snapped up. "What?" That smile—he'd just assumed…

Suzaku faced him, taking aside step closer to lean in as he spoke. "I have to go back to work. I'll be there late tonight."

The Army Base wasn't very far at all from the bookstore, only about a block for the soldiers to walk over. Lelouch turned to look out the window. Even just a block away and they still couldn't manage. Reluctant he did not though. He had his own problems to see to anyway. Least of all was the mounting homework, he'd ignored in the turmoil of his life and family.

"Alright," Lelouch glanced up. "I haven't got much homework done lately anyway."

Hesitant this time Suzaku looked up, seeming to try and make up for his refusal. "I was wondering—about this weekend."

Without a second thought this time, he smiled. "I'd love to."

"Oh?" Suzaku quirked another one of those sincerely charming smile. "I haven't even told you what we would be doing."

Lelouch gave a shrug. "Not much else could be worse than our first date."

Suzaku looked down with a chuckle. "I was thinking maybe we could go camping out in the wilderness, with only pocketknives and our bare hands."

"Veto," Lelouch said with a flat tone as he looked back to the counter. If he could he'd milk this moment for all he could. Suzaku may not be staying, but he was still a welcome distraction.

Giving a mock sigh Suzaku looked back towards the window. "Alright,"

When his manager made an appearance, Lelouch looked away to the boy next to him. He wanted to reach his hand out, to touch Suzaku for at least a moment, feel the power in his chest and curl up next to it as he had a few nights before.

The morning after surprisingly had gone quite smoothly—Suzaku had left before Lelouch had ever woken up so it was easy to just slip out of the house and back into his own home before anyone was the wiser. Sayoko knew. Then again she knew everything it seemed. Lelouch quirked a smile. She may have known everything, but she was discreet enough to not mention it.

"I have to go." Suzaku said.

Lelouch didn't look up. Instead as discreet as he could he slid a hand along Suzaku long suit coat sleeve. "If you must," It was when he reached Suzaku's hand that he stopped, instead stroking the soft fabric at the cuff.

It was hard for them both to try and look stealthy, but Suzaku flipped his hand holding his palm open for Lelouch. "I'll see you later then?"

"Most likely," Lelouch took the offer, not holding his hand but letting his fingers slide against his palm.

Suzaku's fingers contracted, actually holding his hand. That was probably better saved for late night sleep over's on Suzaku's couch anyway. It was easier there since usually there was some animosity involved along with just a spite of sarcasm. If Suzaku was too tired to care it helped as well, that way Lelouch usually got away with things like creeping into his bed in the middle of the night. Not that Suzaku had ever denied him. Lelouch had been the one to start kissing him against his desk the first night they'd known each other after all

"I'll take that as a promise then." Suzaku said stepping to the side moving his hand out of Lelouch's to sneak it at Lelouch's waist, letting it rest at the small of his back for just a moment for some form of embrace before as respectful as ever Suzaku stepped away, straightening the sleeves of his uniform.

When he was watched Suzaku leave, staying there in front of the window to watch him through the glass, Lelouch lingered until he Suzaku was well out of sight.

* * *

><p>He was lying. Suzaku knew he was lying but that didn't stop him from going through with his lie. He and Lelouch kind of floated through the part where they talk about what happened and then come to a mutual decision and then come clean about everything—yeah, pretty much they'd just spent the night together on Suzaku's coach. It wasn't fixed, but Lelouch was answering his calls. And screwing that up with one night spent with a grumpy Suzaku—not happening. He had to work late, remember?<p>

Suzaku had to work late because his job was possibly killing him. With Bismarck things had worked like a well oiled machine, Suzaku got everything done on time and in perfect form and in return Bismarck hadn't asked anything other than that Suzaku stay the perfect soldier. How or why Suzaku was the perfect soldier had remained out of things entirely. There was never any questions prying into the injunction filed or the fact that Suzaku had indeed sealed all minority records. There was no need in his own mind. The crime he had intended to commit after all had never been fulfilled.

The base was dark and deserted, but Suzaku didn't move from his desk. If this was purgatory he'd do his time for a crime he hadn't meant to commit. Bismarck said he needed time and he was right to some extent, but Suzaku had mostly needed space. Now—he knew what space and time felt like and to be frank—he hated it. He hated not to have anything to focus on. He hated not being able to hit his target head on without fear that there might be some unseen consequence to come back and stab him in the back. He hated being a civilian. He hated to have to try and fill his time with things he knew didn't matter. He hated his superior officer rooting through all of his life and wanting answers for the hardest thing he'd ever gone through. He hated the nightmares and the memories. He hated the letter sitting in the dark corner of his countertop. He hated all of it—

His fist slammed down on the hard wood desk. Suzaku wasn't sure when he'd started to breath so hard and fast, but it was coming in pants he realized. He looked down to realize that his fist was clenched. The veins in his arm stood out in the strain of muscles, he was clenching so hard. He set the pen down, sitting back in his chair to try and relax his body. Everyone hated the paperwork in the military so that's what Suzaku had been doing. If he was lucky he wouldn't have any for the next couple of weeks for everything he'd gotten done in one late night.

There was even more steam pent up now though. He was wound tighter and strung out even worse than when he'd walked out of the Coronel's office. The entire goal of staying late had been to burn himself out, run all the way down in hopes that in the morning when he had to restart, his mind would run cleaner, less strained.

His hand raised to his face, flattening his palm over his forehead. Suzaku needed a different tactic. A second later he stood and gathered what few things he needed to get home. The internet is a wonderful tool, and within a few minutes he'd bought himself a membership to that same 24 hour gym he was starting to frequent and left immediately to try and work off the steam.

If this was what an audit like than Suzaku now completely understood why every man he ever met who had gone through such an awful thing, hated the IRS with a passion that could have started wars.

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><p>"Milly knows you're a fag."<p>

Turning with an arched eye brow, Lelouch caught C.c.'s eye over a slice of cheese drooling pizza. She shamelessly took another bite, cheese stringing between her mouth and the slice of surprisingly still warm pizza. She looked back at Lelouch, her jaw almost unhinging with the crass display of the first steps of predigesting her food.

"You look like a apple green cow." Lelouch threw out the comment as he looked back over the railing to the courtyard of the school behind him. "Table manners are a bother for you though, I'd assume."

"I'm not a fabulously queer homo on the verge of discovery." She managed to verbalize past another bite.

He let his head lull to the side for a moment, think on if he should take the girls rise or not. He gave a shrug, if she insisted, might as well hear whatever gossip she felt compelled to dish out. "And this information was obtained, how?"

"Girls locker room," She gave a sly, smug smile. "That spice up your interest in the matter?"

"Queer fag, remember?" Lelouch corrected her as he made his own grab for a slice of pizza.

Her eyes returned to the last piece of food left before without regret scooped it up for another cheese fest of chewing. "Shirley swears otherwise." She dangled the extra information out like a dead mouse to a starved alley cat.

Of course, this time as Lelouch locked eyes with her again, taking a bite of his own slice, he knew this routine with her. C.c. liked to feel needed, so to compensate she liked people to come to her, not the other way around. Usually Lelouch could ignore her blatant taunts for attention, but as luck would have it—Lelouch was actually mildly curious.

"I have no idea why she's so infatuated with you," C.c. gave Lelouch a long overview of a gaze before shrugging and going back to her food. "It's obvious you probably fuck like dead fish."

"Has this conversation really sunk that low?" Lelouch rolled his eyes before he took another bite.

"Apparently," C.c. went on. She finished the last of her slice, before with a sigh she took the rest of Lelouch's slice from him. "We don't want soldier boy thinking you're fat and a dead fish." She explained as she inhaled the last of the large pizza.

Giving up, Lelouch turned to lean back against the railing and ignored that his food had just been relieved from him an accounts of a fat comment. "Don't you think we're a little old for conversations based on petty insults?"

C.c. did appear to think on that comment for a moment before a smile spread. "Old enough to know better, too young to care," She concluded before that grin turned sly as her eyes narrowed to slits, "Now do you want to know why Milly thinks you're strip pole-dancer gay?"

Nope! …or at least that's what Lelouch wanted to say, but with a loud sigh he figured he might as well give in early or he'd be hearing it from dawn till dust every moment he was around C.c., which was becoming far too much. "Why not?"

"Your brother came snooping."

Lelouch's head jerked at the sound of his family and his own eyes narrowed just enough to scrutinize C.c. for any signs of deception. "C.c. that's not exactly hilarious—"

"The tall blond one,"

She wasn't kidding this time, and Lelouch stood a little straighter as he watched that sour expression turn grimmer. C.c. didn't like to get involved in other peoples affairs, but she, like Lelouch, shared a certain distain for her family, and as well understood the tricks people preferred to play in wealthy, powerful families like the two of them shared. The only difference was Lelouch's family, though private in most matters, had a state senator as patriarch.

Lelouch continued to watch his friend. She was his closest friend at the school but that didn't mean she always had Lelouch's best interest at heart. "When?"

"This morning," She met his gaze with feline gold gilded eyes. "Apparently he's a pretty good charmer too. The secretary in the office gave him practically everything, right down to your school lunch balance, according to Milly of course."

The courtyard below was still full of students enjoying their lunch break as Lelouch turned his eyes to them. He didn't see it though, mind already gone to thinking as to what Schneizel would have found out , how it could have benefited him, and how Lelouch could counter act. To be honest, Lelouch had thought that his brother would have waited longer, let the raw emotion of their encounter ease before starting to dig through Lelouch's life. The frightening thought that struck—Lelouch closed his mouth, pressing his lips together to form a thing line—Schneizel was possibly doing the same with Nunnally.

"Milly thinks that you must idolize him to the point that it turned to an unhealthy infatuation and that resulted in such a response from you that you no longer talk about your brother and prefer to stay as far from his as possible. In other words, you're sexually attracted to men because your brother is pornstar hot and that is why you freeze up around anything with a vagina that wants to use it with you." C.c. gave a shrug. "Personally, I think that's all a bit silly logic." There was a pause, a tilt of her head, and then she concluded, "You're obviously gay because you had a lack of supportive male figure in your life and now are desperately searching for the approval and affection of men."

If Schneizel was doing the same with Nunnally, which was very likely considering he knew Nunnally and Lelouch were basically on their own. It was at least a point in their favor that Nunnally and he both managed nearly flawless grades. His attendance would need a reason, something other than his minimum wage job to keep his family afloat, or the truth that Lelouch didn't give a flip.

"Shirley swears that Milly is bat-shit crazy though. I think it's those rose colored glasses, called she thinks you're the shit. I informed her you've never had a girlfriend." C.c. was certainly in a talkative mood. Of course they were all slap sided insults disguised as gossip, so no change in their relationship really on all fronts.

He rolled his eyes as he sat up straighter and pocketed his hands. "I've had a girlfriend before," Lelouch refuted with a grumble.

There was a moment before C.c. laughed. A full solid moment—before she laughed at Lelouch.

Stalking off the roof he felt was his only option left. He did have to admit—as far as getting in the last say, that last one was pretty weak. As he reached the door to the stairs and he could still hear C.c. snickering at that point. He rolled his eyes and flipped her off just as he swung the door open.

* * *

><p>When Suzaku saw him, he froze for half a second. Standing at the office coffee maker, the cup stilled in mid air, Suzaku's mouth hung open as well. That moment would have been better spent scrambling back to his office, avoiding the situation all together. But it had been 32 hours ..36 hours… a very long time since Suzaku had gone to sleep. His brain wasn't functioning beyond all of the paper work he'd been blowing though over the past few days.<p>

But Tohdoh clearly had seen him and Suzaku didn't have much of a choice but to acknowledge his presence. He set the coffee cup down on the counter and moved his arm up in a brief salute.

"You've moved up, quickly," As charismatic as ever Tohdoh got straight to the point.

"Thank you, Colonel." Suzaku said, "You've done very well yourself," especially considering Tohdoh's unpopularity.

The men accompanying the newly appointed colonel had to back track the moment they realized the grizzly war hero had stopped in front of Suzaku.

All of them except Tohdoh were looking down at one thing—Tohdoh's outstretched his hand to the Major before them, holding his hand out just in front of Suzaku. Suzaku was startled for a moment before looking down at the outstretched hand before he looked back up. Tohdoh had his usually grim expression on his face. This time that hard, stern expression was directed straight to Suzaku, It wasn't the first time that Suzaku had received that kind of look from his superior officer.

Suzaku knew that expression, he knew that a hard line expression like that usually made men crumble under Toudou, made men confess any misdeed or any casualty. And Suzaku knew that he'd defied that gaze once, doing it twice would never be in him. He took Toudou's hand giving it a solid, good shake, looking that man square in the eye.

"You're a good soldier." Toudou said, accepting the hand shake well.

"Thank you, sir," Suzaku said with a nod.

Toudou released his hand, folding them back dutifully behind his back. "I want to see you. Later this week, I'll give you some office time. There are some things I want to talk to you about."

All Suzaku felt like he could do was nod again. "I look forward to it, sir."

"Good." And again Toudou was off, striding back to his new office.

Suzaku wasn't sure what had caused the relocation of Toudou's unit, but he was pretty sure that talking to both him and Cornelia wouldn't be something Suzaku was looking forward to. It was never much of a secret that Cornelia and Toudou tended to fight like two cats over the same dead mouse. Toudou acted little too much like a sovereign citizen a little too much for the military's taste and Cornelia acted a little too much like a demi-god a little bit too much for the military's taste. Putting them both in charge of the same base was one of the worst ideas Suzaku had ever heard. He just hoped they didn't start a civil war over the whole matter.

Gilford stepped up next to Suzaku as the new authority continued down the hall. "The Colonel isn't very happy about this." The usually silent man said in a quiet tone next to Suzaku.

It took a moment for Suzaku to realize the Lieutenant Colonel was speaking to him. The inner circle of Cornelia's unit was quite small, with only a few choice soldiers that conversed with her over most matters. Besides issuing orders, Cornelia barely ever spoke to the soldiers in her own unit. Not that there was a need with Lieutenants like Gilford and Dalton snarling down their necks there was an embedded fear of what Cornelia's own rage could be capable of.

"I doubt that she is. Toudou isn't a very—traditional commander." Suzaku said once he realized that Lieutenant Colonel Gilford was waiting for a reply.

Gilford looked to him, maybe even smiling—if the very slight upturn of one side of his lips could be considered a smile. "Don't worry, the issue will be handled shortly, I'm sure."

Suzaku had no desire to ask how Gilford was sure of this. If Toudou was in for some rough times, Suzaku wanted to be the last person on the planet to know about it. He just wanted to go back to his office, keep working on his paper work and effectively be forgotten by every one for the next couple of months. Ideally, he'd be remembered just in time to be sent back to Bismarck's unit and there would be no other problems.

One thing was for sure though, Suzaku was very sure that Cornelia would find a way to handle this situation. "I've no doubt she will handle this." And if Suzaku was lucky it would all be over before he would have to opportunity to be dragged into the fight.

Startled out of his musing of how he wanted things to be, Suzaku first looked down at the hand on his shoulder, blinking a couple of times before looking up to see that the somewhat smiling Gilford was the source. Gilford gave Suzaku's shoulder a firm shake before releasing and turning to walk down the hall. Suzaku's coffee was probably chilling as he watched over his shoulder at the retreating form of a man he'd before only said about three lines to, and none of those words were anything substantial.

And he was pretty sure that the same man just gave him a Comrade Shoulder Squeeze. Those didn't happen often to Suzaku, and when they did it wasn't from people he barely knew.

He was fairly certain that it was becoming apparent that there might be a bit of a tug-a-war over whose side Suzaku would be taking in the upcoming World War III.

* * *

><p>"You're not paying any attention." Lelouch said, a light smile on his face, sitting across from Suzaku. He was leaning back in his chair, his elbow rested on the black iron bar armrest, leaning his cheek against his closed hand.<p>

Suzaku looked away from the game of tag a few children were playing just a few feet away. "What do you mean? I'm paying attention, I swear." No, he wasn't.

The park was crowded with every age and every variety of people. Though Lelouch and Suzaku weren't the only ones at the chess tables, they were indeed the youngest. Next to them, two old men fought over the legality of a move and in respect if the game was over or not. Behind Lelouch, a family was sitting down to a picnic. Off to their other side in the wide open expanse couples frolicking and children were playing every form of fun.

It was no surprise it was a perfectly nice day. The sun shone though the comfortably cloudy sky, making it just the right amount of warm. The flowers were out and the water on the lake looked warm enough as ducks dove every few minute before surfacing with shaking heads and ruffled feathers. It was a day that most people dreamed of having an early morning date on. It was a day that most other people would be enjoying the company on a textbook perfect day. It was a day Suzaku knew he should enjoy more than he really was enjoying.

Lelouch across from him was wearing a navy blue and white Reagan, mid-sleeve and looked perfectly comfortable. Grey jeans hugged his waist and accentuated those long legs all the way down to the Chuck Taylors on his feet.

And surprisingly—it wasn't gone, he was still very attracted to Lelouch. It was just that… Suzaku gave a long, wide yawn. "I'm sorry, is it my turn?"

A laugh broke out from his chess mate, Lelouch turning his head to cover his mouth with those long elegant fingers.

Blinking, Suzaku sat a little straighter, his hand already over a white piece on the board, "What?" He asked. A smile couldn't help but creep into his own features as he watched Lelouch almost silent chuckles into his hand.

Lelouch looked up at Suzaku, those bright violet eyes catching the sun in a nigh perfect gleam. "Suzaku, I won—about four moves ago."

"No—" Suzaku looked down. He had several pawns, a bishop, both castles, and a knight in his hand, but what there wasn't present was a King. Suzaku blinked several more times before setting the knight back down. He looked away, smiling. A single laugh did make its way out of his mouth, but he still couldn't bring himself to face his date.

A cool hand on his cheek directed Suzaku back to look into those brilliant violet irises. Lelouch had stood from his seat, one hand resting at the stone chess board and with the other he held Suzaku's chin in his direction. Those long black lashes batted with a slow blink as a thin-lipped smile spread on Lelouch's face.

Lelouch breathe ghosted over Suzaku's face and for the first time in days he was fully awake. He sat back or Lelouch pushed him back in his seat, either way his back pressed against the wood of the bench seat. Suzaku's hands gripped the black caste iron arm rests on either side as Lelouch inched ever closer. Licking his lips, all thoughts that they were in public left him as Lelouch leaned a bit closer tilting his head to the right.

Obeying the silent command, Suzaku tilted his own head to the right, making it very clear he was ready any time Lelouch wanted to close the small gap between them, or at least their lips. Feeling that warm breath across his lips, Suzaku's eyes fluttered closed. It was too tempting and Suzaku's hands went up, aiming to touch along that long pale neck, and he leaned forward up out of his chair to just-

Closing the gap between them was so—so easy. And it was the only thing that had come easy for so long. Suzaku surged upwards into the kiss. His hand had been playing at the back of Lelouch's neck, sliding his fingers through long strands of coal black hair. Only now Suzaku was clenching his fist, clawing on to a hand full of Lelouch's hair, holding him trapped in the kiss.

Lelouch's shock was felt immediately as he jerked in Suzaku's hold.

Suzaku broke the kiss slow, letting his hold lax as he opened his eyes. Two wide violet eyes met his gaze. Opening his mouth, Suzaku was already searching for an apology. Then those eyes narrowed and thin lipped grin spread on Lelouch's face.

"Check mate." Lelouch whispered against Suzaku's lips before he leaned forward for a second kiss.

This kiss was softer, Lelouch the one to dictate in what manner they were to take with the pressure applied to Suzaku's lips. Lelouch even went as far as to brush Suzaku's hands away from his face. Suzaku thought about refuting Lelouch's wishes, but instead relented into the gentle kiss, letting his hands drop to the armrests at his sides. It was soft, it was gently. But best of all it was so breathlessly easy. Handing over himself to Lelouch was probably a little too easy, but fulfilling.

A cat call from across the grass clearing startled them both out of their own little world. Lelouch's head snapped in that direction, a vengeful glare marring his features. On the other hand, Suzaku was grateful for the interruption. He raised his hand, now feeling he could, to slide his palm against Lelouch's face. The night of their first date they had gone quite a bit further than a closed lipped kiss across a chess, board, but this time it felt—it was like a piece of them both had been shared, a little more than what they had shared before.

Suzaku gave a smile, as Lelouch eyes flicked to look at him. In response, Suzaku shook his head. He preferred they keep this sort of affection in private. With the rest of his life, especially the secrets he thought sealed away along time ago, on parade, he preferred that this be kept just between them. Suzaku stood, and motioned for Lelouch to follow as he helped clear the board of black and white pieces before taking Lelouch's hand and trailing his way back through the park.

* * *

><p>He probably should have kept Lelouch downtown, attempted a second go at a small cozy restaurant. It would have been ideal if Suzaku had changed from his tan shorts, long sleeve gray shirt, and white short-sleeve button up shirt into a nice suit and shined shoes.<p>

Suzaku wasn't in a catering mood though. There was something about the closed off space of his small apartment that made it feel like just maybe he would get lucky enough that for a few hours the world outside wouldn't bother him. It was wishful thinking, but it was easier to think about wrapping his arms around Lelouch's middle and dragging him to the couch for another night, than to think about the consequences of what Suzaku would be back up against on Monday morning.

"You have no food!" Lelouch protested as he opened up Suzaku's pantry cupboard.

Ignoring the comment, Suzaku followed the other boy over to the pantry, approaching him from behind. Suzaku let his head rest on Lelouch's shoulder as his hands moved around Lelouch's waist, feeling the slender curve around to Lelouch's stomach, dipping down Suzaku could feel the jut of his hip bone on either side before locking his arms, folding them over Lelouch's stomach.

Lelouch gave an indignant sigh. Suzaku knew he was being obstinate, having first refused to get something while they were downtown and now that they were at his apartment, playing silent as Lelouch looked through his kitchen for anything to eat. It was to the point Suzaku could almost feel Lelouch bristling under him. So Suzaku managed to untangle one of his arms and throw it towards his pantry. He got lucky, fumbling for the first box to reach his fingers he handed it to Lelouch.

"Macaroni and cheese?" Lelouch said in a voice that implied he wasn't sure if Suzaku was serious or not.

"I like Mac and cheese." Suzaku grumbled into Lelouch's shirt.

Lelouch flipped the box over in his hand to start reading the instructions. "Alright," he said as he pried his fingers under the top cardboard flap to tear it open.

With warm food in hand it was easier to persuade Lelouch to the couch with him. It probably should have been a little embarrassing that it was—well it was his bed, now with a couple of pillows a blanket and his alarm clock propped up on the coffee table. Instead he cleared away some stray laundry with his foot and tugged Lelouch down to the cushions with him.

* * *

><p>A walk of shame was never something that Lelouch had ever experienced. Sure, he'd stumbled his way home the first time he'd managed to spend the night at Suzaku's apartment, but that had been easy enough to pull a hood over his head and not look at any one on the bus home. But now, being a Sunday, Lelouch wouldn't be able to catch the bus for his eight am shift at work. Lelouch managed to rut around until he found his shoes, sitting on the edge of the couch, Suzaku still asleep slightly curled around him. He glanced back over his shoulder, the thought tugging that it could be possible Suzaku never managed to sleep with a shirt.<p>

Lelouch didn't care though. It wasn't like anything had happened through the course of the night. It was actually really warm to curl up against Suzaku's bare skin.

A frown did tug at Lelouch's lips as he thought of the night. For being the younger out of the two of them sometimes he felt like the one that was the comforter. Not just because of the way Suzaku had dragged Lelouch to the couch at barely eight, but—Suzaku hadn't said anything. But Lelouch was becoming certain that Suzaku wasn't always in control and wasn't always aware of that overpowering strength. It shouldn't surprise Lelouch, after all that toned, tan, broad chest had been pressed against him now for two nights. It had been the middle of the night, Lelocuh had woken as he felt Suzkua grip on his shift form a comfortable cuddling to almost as if on the offensive. It was just the way Suzaku's grip had tightened around Lelouch to the point Lelouch had to call out, afraid Suzaku would succeed in breaking his wrists.

It had only been at the most the space of a couple minutes, Suzaku's grip on him tightening and tightening, his face grieved in his slumber, then Lelouch had called out, and startled and breathing hard, that broad chest heaving Suzaku had woke. A part of Lelouch wondered if calling out had made it worse as wide eyes opened and huge dilated pupils focused on Lelouch. Whatever it was, tribute to his character, the first thing out of Suzaku's mouth was a stumbling apology. He'd taken his hands off of Lelouch completely, opting that it was better not to touch him at all rather than accidentally hurt him again.

When Lelouch had touched him, petting those cinnamon curls, Lelouch noticed his body was drenched in sweat, his skin hot to the touch. Lelouch had wanted to throw off the blanket but Suzaku had refused. So instead Lelouch had pulled himself closer, inserting himself back in Suzaku's hold. When Suzaku had finally let his head rest on Lelouch's shoulder was around the time Lelouch's own eyes had started to widen. When Suzaku had drifted back into sleep, Lelouch had continued to run his fingers through those soft curls, wondering who he really had started to share a couch with for the night.

It was problems for another time. Once at work, Lelouch had no doubt that the whirlwind of the day before would start to run like a reel in his head. So he leaned down, helping to slip his second shoe on and tied it with quick hands.

As he finished, he felt Suzaku shift under the blanket next to him. Lelouch turned to him, smiling at the groggy way Suzaku was watching him under the bed head of hair. Lelouch wasn't sure how he was allowed to keep his hair so long in the army, but Lelouch did have to say he much preferred it this length over the traditional military buzz cut. Suzaku even managed to sit up, clearly surprised as he looked at the clock on the coffee table.

"I think that's the latest I've slept in a few years." Suzaku said with a chuckle. When he turned to see that unlike himself, Lelouch was dressed and ready for the day he went on, "Are you leaving?"

"I have to work." Lelouch explained. "Besides the buses don't run until ten today so I have to start out a bit early." He finished with his shoes to straighten. He even felt Suzaku's hand resting on his back.

Looking a little guilty, Suzaku waited a moment before he spoke. "I wish I could give you a ride."

Lelouch leaned back, shifting to fit against Suzaku's knee. "It's fine. I realize you're not exactly organized right now. You've barely managed a cell phone over the past few weeks, getting a car I'm sure will take you a while."

Suzaku did lean forward and place a soft kiss at the side of Lelouch's cheek. "Well, once I get something you won't have to walk."

The term walk of shame came to mind again as Lelouch closed his eyes, letting Suzaku coax as much of a cuddler as he could out of Lelouch. Lelouch even relented, leaning his head to the side and onto Suzaku's neck, pressing his forehead against Suzaku's neck. "I think," Lelouch let a sly smile stretch, "if we keep this up, I would much rather enjoy it if you would invest in a bedroom set."

Seeming to consider it, Suzaku pulled his arm around Lelouch's shoulders. "A mattress would certainly give a bit more room than the two of us squeezing onto this couch."

"I would settle for a bed, with sheets…and covers…a set of pillows would be a plus." Lelouch decided that would be his compromise.

He was certainly considering it, Lelouch could see in the way that Suzaku didn't say yes and he didn't say no, just looked down, seeming in thought. With the prospect that Lelouch might stay over more if he did actually go the extra mile and get Lelouch what he wanted, Suzaku most certainly was considering. Lelouch looked up, flattered and happy that Suzaku would consider it and gave a kiss to Suzaku's cheek. Even for the two of them it was turning out to be quite an affectionate morning.

"I have to be going," Lelouch said as his hand found it's way up to trace along Suzaku's jaw line. The rough stubble under Lelouch's fingers was a comfort all on its own. It was nice to know that Suzaku was human too.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Suzaku asked, because he was that kind of cordial person. He gave a chuckle. "I'm pretty sure there's some Mac and cheese left."

Lelouch almost gagged at the thought. "As excited as I am over more food from a box, I should have already left to be perfectly realistic." And if he was perfectly realistic, Suzaku looked as if he could even use a couple more hours of sleep.

Neither of them moved, and Suzaku even shifted forward, trying to subtly rest his other arm around Lelouch's shoulders. Lelouch snuggled into the warm embrace, nuzzling against that tan bare throat. There was nothing left to say between them. Lelouch should have gotten up and left and Suzaku should have at least shifted to let him go. This somehow just seemed a better option.

But Lelouch had to be at the café before eight o' clock and staying here any longer would be cutting it close. With an inhale of breath Lelouch opened his eyes and pushed himself up and away from Suzaku's ever warmer skin. There was a moment of resistance, Suzaku tightening his arms. Then Suzaku relented and Lelouch was allowed to stand. Suzaku looked a little unwilling but he went to stand as well.

Of course, Lelouch knew Suzaku didn't want to get out of bed so he gave the soldiers shoulders a shove back down. "I know where the front door is, you don't need to show me." Lelouch said with his own chuckle.

He bent and kissed Suzaku's head before turning away from the door. "I'll text you once I get to work, just to put you at ease."

Lelouch received some grumbled response but he was already halfway through the door, ready to start his walk of shame.

* * *

><p>It was wishful thinking. The last day he had spent with Suzaku in the park, stealing kisses and swiping flirtatious comments, settling into Suzaku's warm embrace and eating food out of a box, all of it had been wishful thinking. And that was all made very shockingly clear as Lelouch stepped outside of Suzaku's apartment complex. The glass door had barely shut behind him when Lelouch realized it would have been better to let Suzaku act all gentlemen like and escort him to work.<p>

How they had found such prime parking Lelouch hadn't a clue, but about ten feet from him sat the sleek black car, silver and chrome lining, black tinted windows, which could only belong to one man. The driver at the sight of Lelouch stepped out and rushed to open the back door, holding out his hand in a welcoming gesture. As the door was opened, the sunlight caught on the silver lion crest detailed in the far back corner of the window.

"If you would sir," the driver said with a polite smile, bowing slightly.

Setting his jaw, Lelouch took slow long strides to the car, ducking his head as he stepped into the car and slid into the seat. The driver shut the door behind Lelouch and there was an audible click as the door locked.

With a wry smile Lelouch turned to look at his elder brother. "Do you really think I'd try and escape after willingly stepping into this car?"

"With you Lelouch," Schneizel said next to him, his own pleasant smile on his face, "I've learned that one can never be too careful."

Lelouch looked away to the window, "What is it now that I have done? What unspoken rule have I violated by walking out on the street?" Raising his hand to his mouth, Lelouch knew if he had to look at Schneizel while he spoke that he'd lose it.

"Can I not give you a ride?" there was a rustle of Schneizel's overpriced suit.

Lelouch chanced a look in his brother's direction.

Schneizel moved his sleeve up to take a look at the silver watch on his wrist. "After all, you might have been late to work if you had to walk all the way there."

The muscles all long Lelouch's jaw flexed as Lelouch forced himself into silence. "Of course," he gritted out in a small voice. It was unsettling that Schneizel knew his work schedule, but Lelouch should have expected it—it was worse to think about the fact that Schneizel knew exactly where to pick him up.

The hum of the car's engine started up and the driver looked back for the nod from Schneizel to go ahead. The car blocked out any sounds from the world around as it pulled out of the parking space and into traffic. They weren't heading in the direction of Lelouch's work.

As Lelouch sat a little straighter to try and figure out where they were headed to instead, he felt the feather touch of his brother's hand on his knee.

"We're just taking a bit of a scenic route." Schneizel explained, still wearing that ever pleasant smile. "I wanted plenty of time to have a conversation with you, I believe we're a bit overdue with this conversation after all."

Taking in a breath Lelouch finally turned to see those icy blue eyes watching him.

"I find your choice of company is quite fascinating." Schneizel continued to dangle his true motives right out of Lelouch's reach.

With a swallow, Lelouch knew he had to think through every word before he spoke them. "I really don't think it's any of your business where or with whom I choose to spend my time with when it is my free time."

There was a pause from Schneizel before the smile dampened. "Nothing is free, Lelouch," Schneizel adjusted the cuffs of his suit. "Especially time, and especially in a family with such responsibility as one with our status." He spoke in a quiet tone but with no radio on and the sound barrier that the car's interior provided Lelouch could hear ever horrible word.

"Well, you must feel relieved that we don't share the same last name." Lelouch was sure that it was probably the truth at this point in the embarrassment that his small branch of the family had caused. If there was one thing that Senator Charles wasn't known for tolerance towards it was embarrassment and with Marianne acting less than ladylike, Lelouch was sure he'd had to endure more shame than he'd had to deal with in quite some time.

They were quiet again. Lelouch noticed that the car was not only taking quite a route to his café shop job at Barnes and Nobel, but the car was probably going at least five to ten under the speed limit. The driver was still sitting in the front, completely silent.

"Lelouch, as family we are trying to be a resource, opening up opportunities for you that will potentially give you the life of independency you seem so intent on, but—" Schneizel stalled just long enough to consider his next words very carefully. "There is the issue of Nunnally, unlike you she can't be expected to have to carry a mansion full of relics and a mother draining your home dry. She's not like you, and she never will be."

Lelouch glared at his brother, clamping his mouth shut yet again. Making it about compassion, making it into an issue of Nunnally's safety and comfort, making it seem as if they actually cared about what happened to them was sinking to a whole new realm.

"Leave my sister, leave my family out of this, Schneizel." Lelouch hissed in a low voice. "I have worked to sever all ties to all of you and I won't have you reconstituting those ties in pleas of kindness and loving family caring."

"And that is why we both know I'm here." Schneizel shot back, in his own clear, calm voice. "There is no way to just ignore your absence at our family table. We miss you, Lelouch, we want to open our arms to you"

Again about the compassion that Schneizel and Lelouch both knew were a lie. "Family members are tossed aside all the time. If it's the visits from Euphemia that you don't like, fine," Nunnally wouldn't like it all but—"I'll make sure she stays away. She's the only real tie left to the family and I'm sure she'd understand that with a mother like mine we can't keep being a drag on her reputation. Wouldn't want to hurt any of those opportunities provided by the family,"

Schneizel's calm cool eyes shifted to watch Lelouch, and he even moved his hand up, resting it along the back of the of the pristine dark leather seats. It startled Lelouch out of his own gloom of thought when he felt Suzaku's cool fingers ghosting at the side of his face. His muscles on instinct tightened and his body contracted to make himself seem smaller under his brother's overwhelming size and intimidating natural authority. Lelouch could feel as Schneizel's large hand shifted, barely making contact as it cupped the back of Lelouch's head, his fingers brushing though Lelouch's inky strands.

"Oh my dear naïve brother," Schneizel hummed, sliding far closer than was comfortable for Lelouch. "Do you really think this is over Euphie's little visits to your oh so quaint home?"

The hair on the back of Lelouch's neck sprang up as Schneizel loomed ever closer, the breath as he spoke freezing over Lelouch's already placid skin. It was for one a partly straight forward conversation but Lelouch still felt like he was wading through dark murky water, trying to figure out what was in Schneizel's own agenda and what was for his father's agenda. Lelouch was sharp as a tack and a good talker, but his father already had that in Schneizel, why would he need Lelouch, and what could he possibly need him for?

"I can't stop my mother's behavior," Lelouch knew his words would be stronger if he could manage to look away from the window to face his brother, but he was sure that if he did he might just crumble under the glacier gaze of his brother. "Believe me, I've tried. I have managed to keep her away from the family as much as possible which I will continue to do as long as you leave us alone."

A part of Lelouch wanted to believe that a brief moment of a blunt and straight forward offer would win out, somehow, some way that Lelouch could just see a small glimmer of hope. He closed his eyes, feeling those long fingers at the side of his head, moving now, petting through Lelouch's hair as if Schneizel was just humoring Lelouch's desperate pleas for independence. Lelouch took in another shaky breath as he felt Schneizel give an amused chuckle, the man's chilling breath on Lelouch's neck again.

God help them if this didn't work, god help them if they were ever forced to move back into that hell hole of backstabbing games and snide gossip every time one turned their head. God would be the only person that could help them if Lelouch was forced to watch those gothic iron gates of the Britannian main estate close behind him and his sister.

"My, my," Schneizel moved his other hand to Lelouch's face.

Instantly Lelouch on instinct jerked away from the touch inadvertently trapped as his head bumped into the large hand cupping the back of his head. Trapped Lelouch couldn't bare to direct his gaze properly, but he knew he was still to be pleasantly polite, still follow the rules or his sibling wouldn't hesitate to take what was wanted by force. So following those rules, Lelouch let his head rest in Schneizel's hand, forced himself to relax.

On cue, as if rewarding Lelouch like some sort of dog, Schneizel started to pet through Lelouch's hair again with his other hand, petting the hair away from Lelouch's face. "I never thought you would act so desperate to get away from us. I guess the people you think you know the most are always the ones that tend to surprise you."

Lelouch had to close his mouth again, anger flaring a the suggestion that he was desperate—even if he really was, the gall to mention it made Lelouch's jaw tighten again. His eyes cracked open, if only slits the directed straight to his brother stoic face, that creeping smile still present. As their eyes made contact that cold smile quirked just a bit, widening.

He hated their games! Lelouch hated to be forced to play their game so much. Leaving that house was the best thing he'd ever done for him and his sister. Lelouch could still remember the day they had been moved out of the Britannian estate house. His mother had been in tear s as they moved into the upper-class house that they still lived in. It was the first step to separation that Charles had made towards Marianne. She knew it immediately and while the movers had carried in their expensive things and their family photo's Marianne had cried. Nunnally had started to cry too, mostly from the fact her mother wouldn't stop crying. But Lelouch was elated. He was elated and relieved and it was the first day as still a little boy barely about to become a teen he'd rolled up his sleeves and set to work. He had been the one to direct the movers. He had been the one to help Sayoko set up their house, he had been the one to see that Nunnally got to bed that night and he had been the one to accept the change and know it was for the better. His mother had started on refrain shortly after.

Narrowing his eyes, Lelouch hated to think that this burden his mother was so incapable of dealing with had been shoved onto his shoulders. He wanted to jerk his face out of Schneizel's hold but instead he watched his elder brother. Reactions were what Schneizel loved from Lelouch after all.

"If you would please inform your driver, I'm sure that it's very nearly eight and as you have pointed out, I have work at eight." Lelouch swallowed after speaking, needing a drink of water, or may be just still nervous.

Not releasing his hold, Schneizel slid closer, his knee skimming against Lelouch's thigh. "I'm sure he's very aware of that." Schneizel snapped for the first time. "I believe, we were discussing more serious manners."

Lelouch looked away. "Right," He could debate the importance of his job but that would ultimately fall on deaf ears to a man trying to ruin his life.

Over the minor distraction Schneizel started to glide his fingers across Lelouch's cheekbone. "Your appearance is really quite unique for our family." Schneizel never was fond of whispering its seemed, but he always had a way of dropping his voice, discretely relaying information without the demeaning action of making a show of it. "Even Nunnally bares the unmistakable resemblance to our father. But not you."

It was a reaction, but Lelouch couldn't hold himself back as Schneizel approached closer, shifting up on one knee on the seat. Lelouch slid back into the cushions, sinking down on the leather. Unfortunately it was exactly as Schneizel wanted probably since now the whole weight of Lelouch's head was being supported by Schneizel's broad hand, holding Lelouch's head up, still to the side so with his free hand Schneizel could manage to move his fingers from Lelouch's prominent cheek bone to slide his fingers through his hair.

Holding some of the coal black strands up, laced between his finger tips as if it was feather light and just as fragile, Schneizel continued. "Color just like your mothers, soft like Nunnally's and so vibrant against your skin." Schneizel let the strands drop through his fingers as he moved his hand again moving them in a feather light touch across Lelouch's skin again.

"Sir," The driver in the front said in a low tone as he pulled the car into park in front of the Barnes and Noble.

He was promptly ignored as Schneizel adjusted closer, placing his hand on the door this time. With his hand supporting Lelouch's head he slowly turned Lelouch to look at him.

As Lelouch's eyes widened, making clean eye contact with those icy blue eyes he felt like a child again, having no choice but to play the game to try and survive.

When his brother moved in closer was when Lelouch's prying fingers finally found the handle on the door. When the shiver ran through Lelouch's spine as Schneizel skimmed his nose across the skin at Lelouch's throat was when Lelouch closed his eyes and pulled on the door handle.

The repercussions of his actions would be dealt with later, but Lelouch scrambled out to the car as fast as he could manage, scrambling out from under his brothers hold. Much to Lelouch's astonishment, Schneizel let him go as well, not even putting up resistance as Lelouch stole out from under him, stumbling out onto the street, knees a little shaky and eyes still just as wide. In contrast, Schneizel sat back, keeping himself in perfect composure. Schneizel easily claimed his victory as Lelouch stood like a deer caught in the headlights in the middle of the sidewalk.

As a token of added cruelty, Schneizel smiled at his brother as he spoke. "It is very interesting who you spend your time with. I'll be sure to let the Major know how hard you tried on his behalf."." Schneizel closed the door to the car, rolling down the window just enough that Lelouch could see those brilliant glacier brimmed eyes. "Also, our dear Euphie will be coming over tonight, I'd best advise that you be there when she arrives."

And just as Lelouch lunged forward, to desperate ot think, the car window rolled up. Just as Lelouch's fists hit the glass the driver started the engine. It pulled out into traffic again before Lelouch could get in another hit.

In his rage, he stood there in an empty parking place, breath heaving in and out of his chest, a snarl marred on his face. He hated this game, but he hated when he lost the game even more.

* * *

><p>Just so you all know—I don't know what I'm doing! Haha! I have no clue what it's like to be in the military. The most I've learned about the military was from the TV. (I really have no idea what I'm doing.) Also, read the blooper I posted. It's a FUNNER park date than the one I knew actually fit with the story.<p>

~Reviews are Awesome!~


	5. Perfect Strangers

**Special Thanks: Guest, Allora Gale, luckless-is-me, Guest, Atheist1, ixloco, LawliPop, Vega Nightshade, EchizenRyomaLover, EriEri99, iceley11, Thanasi, jjj**

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><p>Chapter Five<p>

Perfect Strangers

6/24/2012 8:00 PM

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><p>Two born and raised soldiers stood a good distance away from each other, on either side of them was rows of metal bunk beds. It was the barracks that just a couple of years before Suzaku had entered as the youngest recruit there. It was the same place that Toudou had received his first rank of responsibility, receiving Suzaku and his brothers–in-arms as his first group of men to lead through the grim and muck of a war zone. It had been the place where both of their lives had matured into something real, something they could be proud of. It was the place that had started each of their journeys.<p>

"You're going with Bismarck's offer?" Toudou looked grim as he watched down at his hands. A tattered and worn metal was in his hands. He wasn't fiddling with it or even fidgeting mindlessly, His attention was on the medal, his thumb running across the thin gold-plated surface. "After all those letters, you're finally giving in to his offer."

Across the barracks, standing at full attention Suzaku gave a sigh. He'd known that Toudou wouldn't approve of his new course of action. His hands behind his back, legs an equal distance apart, Suzaku was dressed in full military honors. His boots were shined and all of those shiny, horribly little pins were on his chest.

"Bismarck's unit is very—" Suzaku wasn't sure what word to use, "active."

Catching Tohdoh's attention, the man finally looked up from the little metal. He studied his would-be pupil for a moment before straightening, Toudou asked, "Do you really miss it that much?"

Suzaku wasn't startled by the question, but he was ashamed, ashamed of the answer he knew that if he was being honest, the answer he would give Toudou. Saying it would seem more shameful though, so Suzaku looked down at his boots instead.

"I know you've had a hard time coming back." Toudou voiced as he started his way forward. "Civilian life after immersing yourself that much in operations like ours becomes—mundane. But it's life, Suzaku. There won't always be a war that needs fighting." Toudou stopped a few extra feet away from Suzaku.

Suzaku looked up, noticing the wide rift between them. It was only growing from the moment they had split ways. "Bismarck's unit—"

"Are thieves and pillagers. Bismarck wasn't always a soldier, Captain Kururugi." Toudou always had a way of stopping Suzaku dead in his tracks. "I've gone through his files, for men long before you boy, and Bismarck's unit might as well be a death mill for how many young soldiers have had to go in to fix their mistakes."

It had always been hard to face that stern, expectant face, especially now that Suzaku knew he was throwing everything that he'd done under his commander in his face to run back to a battle field Toudou had worked so hard to get Suzaku out of.

"Bismarck worked for years as a contract mercenary before magically being placed in command of his own, in many aspects, rouge unit. This isn't a man who thinks about the consequences of his foolish actions. He never thinks about what he's doing, he just does it regardless of right or wrong."

And that was Suzaku's reason. Right there, Suzaku knew Toudou was throwing this in his face because it was why Suzaku was doing it. Sometimes it was just easier to just follow orders than to think about if what he was doing was right or wrong.

"Principles matter, Captain," What Toudou meant was, I taught you better, I taught you what matters and it's not the money.

It had made Toudou very unpopular over the years, that principle thinking had made him an enemy in a system that operated on the grace of corrupt senators and twisted agendas. And soldiers had flocked to him, Toudou had been barred from promotions for as long as could be had, but now that he was a Major—there was no stopping a freight train already on the tracks.

"I have a plane to catch, sir." Suzaku resigned as he looked up from his boots.

"You know," Toudou showed the small medal in his hands. "this is the first medal I ever received." Toudou looked long and hard down at the little piece of metal. "I just remember the three men that died on the way to getting this metal."

Uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation Suzaku looked away with an awkward lump in his throat. "Sir," he couldn't finish. It was harder than he'd ever thought to face his commanding officer. For some odd reason, Suzaku thought he'd be able to just give a salute and leave without much more than a couple of sentences of adieu.

Toudou gave a solid, single nod. "Alright." He looked straight at Suzaku though. "Just remember that I will have a place for you. When you realize who you're working for, what kind of people you're working for, you can return to this battalion."

"Thank you, sir," Suzaku said as he turned away. He really did have a plane to catch. He would be meeting Bismarck's small, specialized unit within the next twelve hours. His first mission was to be completed within the next twenty four. And unlike his place with Toudou, Suzaku was responsible for no other lives but his own. Unlike under Toudou, Suzaku didn't have to think about what he was doing and what was driving him, it was just do and be done.

"Kururugi!" Toudou called as Suzaku made it to the doors, one hand on handle.

Suzaku looked back, looking for possibly the last time to the man who had been his first commanding officer.

"You're a good soldier." Toudou called. "You're an excellent soldier, but—just remember that you're human."

Whatever Toudou meant, Suzaku let it drift over his head as he gave a nod for both acknowledgement and goodbye. Then he opened the door and walked out into the night at a brisk pace, leaving Toudou behind.

* * *

><p>He was spoiled. Having Lelouch as a partner meant whenever Suzaku wanted coffee he usually got really good coffee. If he ordered it from the small shop just around the corner, Lelouch usually just surprised Suzaku with something Lelouch thought he would like. When they were at Suzaku's apartment—well, Lelouch tended to be in control of the kitchen all together, but coffee was something that he kept in good control. Lelouch if nothing else always handed Suzaku a steaming cup of awesomeness whenever he was over, spending the night or not. And he was spoiling Suzaku to the point of no return.<p>

Thinking about how he would have liked to be sitting on his couch, his arms comfortably wrapped around Lelouch and in hand a warm cup of coffee. Suzaku got a little carried away and tried to image what Lelouch would have put in his coffee. Chai maybe—or wait now, Lelouch had found Suzaku's weakness for Irish cream. That's probably what he would give him if they were at his apartment. Lelouch knew that Irish cream would make Suzaku feel warm and cozy and they'd probably start to curl into each other and just drift into an easy conversation before realizing what time it was they might pull the blankets over them, still talking about nothing and everything.

Sighing there was absolutely none of that reflecting back at him in the dark liquid in his cup. But still trying to be an optimist Suzaku raised the cup to his lips and took a sip. He swallowed before turning to the sink and dumping the cold and awful coffee down the sink. It was horrendous compared to anything he usually drank.

When he turned back to the instant coffee maker he tossed in another packet and flipped the switch. There was a practical reason for this. He needed the coffee—he needed to stay awake. There was no chance for Lelouch to come over for the next week or so and sleeping alone was getting—shitty coffee in the middle of the night on base was a better option. Nights for which he had to go home usually reverted to going to the gym. That was getting a little awkward. There was always the same girl at the front desk to swipe his membership card and Suzaku was pretty sure she was getting suspicious. The only option left was to start pencil pushing and stay as ahead on work as was humanly possible.

The coffee machine beeped loud at him and Suzaku flipped it off, pouring another cup. It was scolding hot, but with a shrug Suzaku lifted the cup to take a sip.

"God damn, why did you dump that out?"

Suzaku turned to the door just in time to see a younger soldier he'd seen come in along with some others from Toudou's unit.

"Uh," Suzaku stumbled.

She was looking at him like he'd just somehow affronted her entire family. That baleful ocean blue gaze didn't falter as she took a step forward. In her private's uniform she'd grunged down for after hours. Her jacket was gone, shirt was unbuttoned and the tie was nowhere to be found. Suzaku himself had removed his uniform jacket, but really there was a point where Suzaku even knew not to go, after hours or not. Besides that was the fact she was dressed like a man. A skirt wasn't required anymore for women—but still. In Suzaku's opinion it looked nicer.

He snapped out of his book cover assessment to answer. "It was cold. So I didn't think anyone would mind." He didn't think anyone was here besides him for starters but that was clearly proven wrong. "It didn't taste all that great either so I figured it would be fine." He went on as he replaced the new pot he'd just made back in the coffee machine.

If he'd received a glare from the woman before this than it was probably just a prologue to the glare he was getting now. She took out another mug from a cabinet rolling her eyes as she looked away from him to the cabinet.

In hopes of somehow mending the situation of getting off on such an apparently horrendous start, Suzaku tried again. "I'm sorry." He said a bit uneasy.

"For what?" She growled as she pushed past him to get to the coffee machine. She took out the newly brewed pot and poured some in her mug.

Suzaku was a little lost but he kept pushing forward. "…I'm not sure how but it seems I've somehow offended you."

She raised an eyebrow at him as she turned to look at him. "Well aren't you rather pathetic." She took a nonchalant sip from her mug.

Suzaku was—well he was a bit taken back to be perfectly honest. He'd been called pathetic in his life before—but not since he was ten. Indigent to the rude approach, Suzaku leaned back against the counter, setting his jaw but knowing that politeness was a better approach he went on ahead with the apology. "I'm sorry that I tried to make up for my short comings."

"Right, do you grovel like that to everyone?" the private sneered at him over her coffee with a stoic expression on her face.

Suzaku took in a breath. Dealing with bullies never got him in anything but trouble. It was better to turn the other cheek and maintain some semblance of civility than to start an argument over nothing. "I'll make sure to check before I make a new pot of coffee in the future." He said as he turned to the door to start back to his office.

"That wasn't an answer to my question!" the private called after him.

He ignored her and just took another sip of his coffee as he continued to his office. Suzaku had enough to wrestle with in his life—dealing with a belligerent co-worker wasn't something he felt needed to be added to his very long list of problems.

* * *

><p>The parlor was so quiet Lelouch could hear the ticking of the grandfather clock next to the fireplace. He just sat there looking down at his hands. If he really paid attention he could hear the sound of himself grinding his teeth. His hands were fisted in his lap, his hair combed and parted as best he could. He was dressed in the nice suit he knew he would have worn usually only at his father's estate. The suit coat hung heavy and lank off his shoulders. It'd been so long since he'd played the role of dutiful son, and never anywhere but in the presence of his father.<p>

And yet—this was his home.

It felt nothing like his home. Sitting in his parlor, his maid serving tea on the coffee table, surrounded by his own things he just felt—encroached upon. His family was part of the elites, he'd always tried to act like the elite stock he knew he was from—but now was just so—

"Lelouch," Euphemia said. She sat across form him. Her eyes wide she watched him from across the coffee table. She sat straight up, even leaning a bit forward towards Lelouch. She was alert and watchful, her mouth hung open as if she wanted to say something more but just couldn't find the right thing to say. She was dressed accordingly as well, in a soft pastel yellow dress. The fabric was ruffled a bit, uncustomary to her usually whimsical appearance. Compared to the somber form of Lelouch, she was an entirely different dimension of anxiety.

"Thank you, Sayoko." Lelouch spoke for the first time in a long while. He didn't look up, didn't move to take the cup of tea left on the table before him.

There was silence again.

This time Euphemia shifted forward, the sound of her dress wrinkling was just before she spoke. "Please Lelouch," she said, her voice with just a slight tremble this time.

He wasn't as versed in the game as he should have been. Because of that Lelouch had lost to his family now twice and was now being reined back in. His family was tightening the noose around his neck and it was all because—he'd lost the game. He used to dominate to the point he'd weaseled his way into a house far away from his family, he'd managed to isolate himself and his sister as best he could. And he'd learned to thrive in the limbo between the average world around him and the bubble of his family. And somewhere along the way he'd lost his feel for what communication really was like in his family.

Lelouch let his eyes flick up towards his sister. He opened his mouth so ready to just relent and lull back into that sinkhole that let him just imagine that his father wasn't looming over him, his brother was out to strangle him, his life wasn't careening out of control—but there was something's that couldn't be forgiven. And forgoing his trust was one of those things.

Lelouch was wide awake now. Now that he'd been threatened with only the tip of the iceberg of what Schneizel could do, Lelouch had come shatteringly awake. And he planned to keep it that way. And so be it if he had to burn every bridge on the way. This was war, and there was casualty in war. There always would be and he was determined to keep his sister out of that list.

"We're happy to have you here, Euphemia." He spoke in a low level tone as he watched her through the shad of his long fringe. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like,"

"Lelouch," this was the first real crack in her voice. "Please, Lelouch, don't do this." She begged, her hands fidgeted nervously in her lap. The anxiety was starting to become even clearer. It was hard to see, but after years of knowing her Lelouch could see the red splotches on her face starting to flare.

He took a deep breath before standing. "Please give my regards to our father when you see him next." Lelouch spoke as he turned away.

"No, don't do this Lelouch." He could hear the tremble in her voice as she still sat there in his parlor. "Please don't do this." He could hear the first gasp as she started to break, gasping for breath as she scrambled for a handkerchief.

He looked away to the floor. "I have to leave for work." He said in solid tone. His eyes were so low his eye lashes almost obscured his violet irises from view. It was harder than he imagined to do this to her.

"Please, don't. You're the only one I have left. Don't be like this." If the cracking in her tone, handkerchief held up to her face to keep from trying to show her weakness

It was when he heard the first sob break that Lelouch looked behind himself. He couldn't keep this limbo up and expect to win against any fight—but he could—he stepped closer to his sister, coming up to the side of the couch. Taking the handkerchief he raised it to her face and wiped away the streaming tears. "Crying is never very becoming.' He said in a soft tone.

When he was done he sat at the edge of the couch. He didn't smile, didn't even look her straight in the eye he just sat there for a moment.

"You don't have to be like that." Euphemia said in a quiet tone. "I know you, and you're not like them. That's why you left, I know, you aren't like that." She was still crying though, seemingly against her own willingness to stop.

With the handkerchief, Lelouch whipped away the new wave of streaming tears. He didn't say anything. And it stayed like that for a few minutes, time passing without much count, before Lelouch looked up.

"I don't think that you're like that either." Lelouch said. He looked back down. This wasn't going to make anything easier in the long run.

"I don't think any of us are like this!" Euphemia shot back with a sniffle again. "We're not like this."

Lelouch looked at her with emotionless eyes. She was betraying him and she didn't even know it. She was sinking her own ship and she was too blind to see it. He leaned forward, kissing her on the forehead before leaning back to stand again. "I have to go now." He said as he looked away from her.

She grabbed at his hand. Both of her pale delicate hands striking out to grip Lelouch's palm in a vice like grip.

He did stop. But it was a lot harder if he looked back so instead he turned just enough to place his hand over his dear sisters and squeezed, just enough to let her know he'd be there if she ever decided to finally take those hard and long steps he was about to take himself. It was the steps he so dearly wished she would take. Her grip on him weakened and she leaned forward again as if she was almost willing to take that leap of faith forward.

But she didn't—and Lelouch couldn't wait for her.

He spared one last glance back at her before continuing forward. Those delicate fingers tightened for just half a second before they released and as Lelouch took another step forward, her hand slipped away. Lelouch didn't have to look to know that her hand hung there for a just moment, reaching for him until—her hand dropped limp into her lap.

A few minutes later Lelouch reentered the entry way of the house, coming down the stairs with his wallet and pulling on his jacket. He was dressed for work and had his house keys in hand, shoving them in his pocket as he passed the parlor doorway, trying not to look up as he went to the door.

There was a part of Lelouch that just wanted to—to go back to the parlor, put his 3-piece suit back on and sit back next to his sister and just—he looked back. Just a glance was enough to propel him forward this time as he flung the front door open and charged down the walkway. He already knew he shouldn't have taken that last look, he shouldn't have turned at all. It would never leave him now—the image of his dear older sister, sitting there in a rumpled and solemn mess of sorts, face in her hands.

* * *

><p>"What is that?" Lelouch spoke up as Suzaku came back through his office door.<p>

Lelouch leaned back against Suzaku's desk, impatiently waiting as Suzaku shuffled through the motions to be able to leave work. Not that he'd been waiting long, he just clearly didn't like waiting in Suzaku's office alone, but Lelouch had been the one to duck into the office the second he'd arrived.

Suzaku looked in the direction of Lelouch's outstretched gesture to the gun mounted on the wall. It was a relic of the previous owner of the office and for some reason had been left behind when Suzaku moved in.

"That?" Suzaku said in disbelief that Lelouch was even mildly interested. "That's a Les Baer TR Special .223 Caliber."

It was a second of Lelouch blinking at him several times before Suzaku gave a smile and took the long gun down to give an answer in American English. "This is a very high powered gun, that is very expensive and ultimately in this office," Suzaku flipped the safety switch and pulled the clip out, "completely useless." He showed the empty clip to Lelouch. "Besides it's basically a fancy sniper rifle and is unfortunately quite heavy so to be able to get an accurate shot you'd need a gun rest and I'd at least prefer a scope."

Lelouch stepped forward to look at the long gun, "So it's an office show piece?" A smile quirked as he went on, "I'm guessing you didn't put this up?"

"Course not," replacing the useless weapon back on the wall between two empty bookcases, Suzaku still took care with the gun, know that even though it wasn't his preferred weapon it still required his respect.. "It's a hand me down of the old occupant of this office." He turned back to Lelouch. "I can't decide if it held some significant meaning or if the former owner was a simple pencil pusher and wanted something in here to soldier him up a little."

Lelouch leaned back against the desk. "My guess is it's compensation for lack of masculinity in a masculine dominated environment." Lelouch placed his hands on the desk and hopped up to sit on the edge. "My question is what would you put there if that gun wasn't taking up the space?"

His first answer would have been, well nothing. The less he had to move out when he was shipped back out to Bismarck's unit the better. But humoring the theory Suzaku turned with a smile. "A 2001 Cheytac .408 caliber."

"A bigger gun?" Lelouch guessed.

Displaying mock disgust at Lelouch's simplification, Suzaku gave a snort. "A much bigger gun, I'll have you know! It's a useful gun."

"Oh right," Lelouch said. He gave a sly smile though, letting his head cock to the side.

Suzaku took a step closer to continue his defense. "If I had to fill the space it would be a gun I could at least use, I'd make sure to hide a gun tripod in the book case and with the Cheytac there's no way any threat could get through the doors of this office."

Hooking his leg around Suzaku's calf Lelouch tugged him forward to raise his hands to Suzaku's chest. "I'm mildly shocked, but I think that this might actually be working."

A raise in his eyes brow brought Suzaku back to look down at Lelouch. "I've managed to convince you I'm the real deal, masculine soldier in a masculine dominated environment?"

"Without a doubt," Lelouch purred, "Plus, to be honest, it's kind of a turn on when you talk about guns."

At the mention of that Suzaku took a step forward. "Oh really? I'll have to keep that in mind as a potential seduction method in my arsenal."

"If it's from you I think I'd be okay with being assaulted with such a seduction method." Lelouch gave a sneaky smile. "I'll be sure to press charges later of course; I mean I could use your money as well."

"I'm sure you will." Suzaku said pushing off from the desk. "Come on, I'm done, so we can finally leave."

Lelouch got off the desk, slinging his bag back over his head, sliding the messenger bag to its usual place at his side. When he looked up he watched Suzaku pull on his uniform coat before walking around the desk again, sliding in his chair and picking up the small buckle briefcase.

In all honestly, Lelouch hadn't wanted to come, too afraid he may run into certain family members, but at seven in the evening he doubted that Cornelia would be at work still and it had been the most convenient to meet Suzakuat his office before they went to dinner. And with little to no one left at the base Suzaku was more at ease with Lelouch, even hooking a hand to a weak hold of Lelouch's arm as he led them out of the office.

They made it to the coffee machine before they were forced to turn at the call, "Kururugi!"

Suzaku was the one to turn first, dropping his hold on Lelouch's arm, as a female soldier jogged up to them. Oceanic eyes were narrow as she rounded on Suzaku.

"Where is that air strike report? Toudou asked you for it yesterday."

Lelouch had never looked up or ever even taken an interest in rankings of military but he had a hunch from the vagrant way that the women spoke and the half step Suzaku had slid into, standing a littler straighter his head cocked just a tad, and eye brow so close to ticking into an arch, this woman was overstepping her rank.

"Private Kozuki," Suzaku started, but smiled pleasant and cordial, "I gave that report to Coronel Toudou two hours ago."

"Well it didn't go through me." the woman persisted.

He couldn't hear it, but Lelouch could feel as Suzaku gave a sigh, wanting to just go out probably. "I'll get you a copy really fast." Suzaku said as he started back to his office.

Lelouch took a step to follow, but Suzaku held up his hand to stop him before continuing to his office. As he opened the door to the dark office, Lelouch caught a glimpse of Suzaku's hand raised to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. Hiding his own indignation wasn't easy as Lelouch shuffled on his feet.

"So are you a relative or is Kururugi your baby sitter?" the woman abruptly asked.

Turning his head to the blunt woman, Lelouch knew his eyes were narrowing as he spoke. "We're dating."

"Right, so Kururugi like's the preppy school boys, does he?" she continued to jab at the prospect of an insult.

Feathers ruffled at the fact she was kind of right, Lelouch straightened just a tad. "And you get off on antagonizing those around you in a justification of your own foul outlook on life. Everyone has something."

"Touché," the woman huffed. "But that wasn't a denial."

Lelouch gave a noncommittal shrug. "I could flail aimlessly around explaining I'm a second year in college with a 4.0 grade average, majoring in Biological Engineering, as well as student body V.P. and in all actuality that simply proves that Major Kururugi just prefers someone with the proper intellect to know he'd dating me for more than the fact I look younger than I am, but really, I think throwing your own brand of ammunition back in your face is more effective in this instance."

"Wow, what a mouth full, but you sure it's not that pretty face and perk ass he's after?" the woman cross her arms as the first sign of a smile quirked, her hip snapping to the side with the action.

"Well, I do his taxes for him," Lelouch said as his violet eyes flicked up, and gave a sly smile.

He was rewarded with a full smile from the woman. "He's a self-righteous prick-"

"And he can't manage to do his own laundry in a timely manner, can't cook food that doesn't have a box and constantly has the bad habit of trying to tell me what to do and what to think," Lelouch fixed that woman in his gaze, "I fully realize that Suzaku has a few down sides."

She was smiling now, closed lipped and a bit smug, but she was smiling. She opened her mouth to say something but the Suzaku's office door opened and Suzaku rushed out just as the woman closed her mouth again.

"Here you are, Private Kozuki," Suzaku politely handed off the report in question before stepping back towards Lelouch.

"Right," the woman said as she turned, "See you around, school boy." She hollered over her shoulder as she retreated down the hall.

As she disappeared around the corner Suzaku turned to look at Lelouch, an eye brow raised as he spoke.

This time it was Lelouch who took up Suzaku's arm and led him towards the door, "Come on, It's been at least an hour since we made reservations and I'm starving."

* * *

><p>And he was back. Sitting in that chair across from the fiercest woman Suzaku was pretty sure he had even come across. Even Kouzaki wasn't like Cornelia. Suzaku doubted there was another woman on the entire planet that compared to Coronel Britannia.<p>

His eyes drifted up to the bookshelf housing the long career of achievement. That same photo of Cornelia in the arctic, brazen boot marking her victory, pressed on the skull of that dead polar bear. That wasn't what was bearing down on Suzaku though from that photo. It was those eyes. Those dead, lifeless dark eyes of the polar bear drew Suzaku's gaze and almost made him shrink back all at the same time. There was no way not to look down at that bear, blood drooling out of its slack jaw. Suzaku frowned at the way Cornelia combat boot seemed to almost grind the bears head deeper into the snow.

In all reality, Suzaku was shocked he was back in this office at all. The last meeting like this hadn't ended exactly in flowers and well wishes. And Suzaku hadn't exactly come crawling back. It was more like scrambling out of the way. Every time he's seen the Coronel or one of her loyalist cronies Suzaku had quickly been finding a reason to slink back into his office as quietly as possible.

There wasn't much escaping though when he had been ordered to report.

So he sat there waiting, and knowing that he wasn't going to be the first one to speak. What was the point. Just about everything in his life had been talked about between the two of them. It was actually quite possible that Cornelia knew more about Suzaku than anyone else in the entire town.

In fact, that was very believable since the one person that did know at least a bit more about him, in all reality knew pretty much nothing about him. That was the great part all about Lelouch, they talked about nothing important with each other and then they made out and then they spent the night together. Their relationship was damn near perfect.

Suzaku glanced up, just to make sure he wasn't spacing out on something he shouldn't. Of course, Cornelia hadn't even looked up. She still just kept plugging away at the paperwork before her.

And Suzaku was back to thinking about Lelouch. This whole thing of having dinner once –okay maybe more like twice a week was turning out awesome! It was so great to just be able to call Lelouch up and go out to eat with him at whatever random restaurant they picked for the night and he could just forget about everything but getting Lelouch back to the apartment.

"Kururugi,"

Suzaku snapped to attention. Eyes wide he looked up and straightened his posture enough to be passable. He'd almost forgotten that he was sitting in the Coronel's office.

"Ma'am." Suzaku said in return.

She wasn't even looking up yet, now appearing to be writing something down on a small piece of note paper.

"I have spoken to Bismarck." She said it so casual, that stern look still on her face.

This perked Suzaku up. It was life or death now. He sat very impatiently now, waiting for Cornelia to go on.

"He says you were an impeccable soldier." Cornelia said with a poised peck of her pen onto the note she was writing.

"Thank you, ma'am." Suzaku said with a brisk nod.

"I said 'were' not 'is.'" Cornelia said as she looked up. The hard line of those finely manicured eyebrows lowered just a bit as now those cold eyes focused on Suzaku.

This time Suzaku wasn't sure what exactly to say.

"It's obvious that there is something holding you back." She said it as if she was annoyed by it all. "And whatever that 'something' is, it can no longer be tolerated if you wish to still regain the rank and reputation you were once worthy to have."

"Coronel, "Suzaku started. "Look, that incident was jus—" just what? and accident? A mishap? A moment of memory lapse? What really was that moment to Suzaku? "A slip up." In the most rudimentary way possible. It had been a slip up of him as a soldier, letting his life interfere. A slip up as him as just a person, letting just one incident rule him. "It won't ever happen again." Because if he could just go back to his old life, back to that control he'd somehow accomplished before—it would all just be fine.

"You're absolutely right." Cornelia's brow furrowed just the tiniest bit.

Suzaku was starting to feel like the onslaught was far from being over.

"Now there is no way, I'm letting you keep mooching around from this base." Cornelia snapped at him. Her voice was both raising and deepening at the same time.

…oh God, he was really that transparent, wasn't he?

"I expect nothing but excellence out of my men and I will not have you here screwing up all the time. Now you used to be passable as a soldier." This time she had an edge to her voice.

Suzaku wasn't sure when this had turned personal but clearly something—somewhere along the lines, this had turned very personal it seemed. And to be frank, Suzaku hadn't a thing to fire back, even if he could have fired something back.

"Kururugi, this farce of a soldier's performance has been dragged out long enough." She snapped at him again.

Suzaku could feel the heat rising in his face. It wasn't like he'd purposefully 'slipped up.' This wasn't his fault. It couldn't be his fault—and yet it was his fault. Completely, he knew it was his fault and he knew that Cornelia could see right through him.

"Then what exactly would you have me do to fix that?" Suzaku didn't realize he'd snarled until it was out of his mouth.

The silence then hit them both.

Suzaku's mouth fell back open. A hard swallow and widening of eyes marked as fear flooded all spaces of his brain, accompanied by the return of common sense. Or at least that was the ultimate hope, that in the return, common sense would return. Maybe if Suzaku was lucky it would be back to stay.

His mouth still open he just started to talk, through that open mouth. "I—I'm sorry. That was uncalled for, I didn't mean, ma'am. That was—I'm really sorry."

That was when the most unexpected of things happened. It was slow but then suddenly Cornelia smiled. "Don't bother, Major."

She sat as perfect as ever and just smiled—or maybe smirked, Suzaku wasn't sure he could tell the difference any longer. It was probably because he'd never seen Cornelia have any facial expression past content and all the way down to utter distain, like a five to a ten range on the scale of unhappy.

"We all have limits. Unfortunately for you, I believe you haven't reached yours yet." Cornelia looked away then writing one last thing out on that note and holding it out over the desk.

Suzaku looked at it for a moment, before leaning forward and taking the note. It was folded, so he couldn't see what was written on it.

Somewhere in his mind he had the inkling that this may be crossing some kind of line somehow. Then again, it was Cornelia—so he wasn't sure if that meant there was some very strict lines or if that meant there was no such thing as lines.

"You're dismissed." Cornelia's gruff and callas manner was immediately back as she looked back down to the paperwork on her desk.

"Yes, ma'am." Suzaku seceded immediately and stood. He was being given an escape so like hell was he going to pass up on it.

Once he was back in his own office, Suzaku stared down at the phone number written on the small post-it note. He gave a sigh, but knowing he would face worse consequences if he didn't call, he flipped open his cell phone, dialed the number, and pressed the phone to his ear.

Put Line Here

When Lelouch knocked on the apartment door he hitched the messenger bag just a bit more up on his shoulder. He'd come right after school since he didn't have work and had-quite ashamed and a bit disgusted to admit it- no desire to go home he'd gone to the next best place.

There was the rattle of locks before the door was opened and Suzaku's smile was Lelouch's greeter. Lelouch leaned up for a kiss.

The hasty press to his cheek wasn't what he had expected. Watching as Suzaku was already turning back to his bedroom, Lelouch couldn't quite stifle the sneer that was forming on his face.

"Come on in," Suzaku finally said, with a brief look over his shoulder.

One favorable aspect was that Suzaku had his shirt off, Lelouch mused to himself as he closed Suzaku's front door and set his school bag down in a chair at the table. He took his time, even checking to make sure his school uniform was safely tucked away in the school bag where Suzaku wouldn't chance to see it. Then Lelouch removed his jacket and even went to Suzaku's fridge to get a Pepsi. It wasn't like Suzaku was in a big hurry to get Lelouch's attention anyway.

By the time he sauntered his way back to Suzaku's bedroom, the soldier was charging back out of the room.

"Does this look nice?" He asked a bit desperate as he presented himself. He was finishing up buttoning the cuffs on a dark plum shirt he now wore with his pressed black slacks.

"Not as good as you do without a shirt," Lelouch mumbled as he took a drink from the can of Pepsi.

Suzaku's brow furrowed. Then he made the face.

Immediately, Lelouch understood. That was the stressed face. It was always a weird mixture of emotions coming out in a look of confusion and annoyance. Lelouch didn't even know if Suzaku knew he made that face when he was stressed.

But with that cleared up, Lelouch knew his snarky comments weren't going to be appreciated. "Where are you going?" It was something he needed to clear up before he knew how he could help Suzaku best. He stepped up to straighten Suzaku's collar.

"I have a dinner to go to for work." Suzaku explained, frowning as he tugged at the collar that Lelouch had just fixed.

Lelouch nodded. It went unsaid that this was clearly important. "Well, it's better to be well dressed than under dressed. Do you have a tie?" The outfit needed one. And a suit coat.

Completely willing to hand this over to Lelouch, Suzaku nodded in submission and started back to the bedroom again.

Once Lelouch entered after him he was pleased to see that there was a suit coat waiting on a hanger. The hanger was balanced on the edge of the doorframe to the private bathroom, but Lelouch couldn't be too picky.

"Uhm," Suzaku frowned as he started to look thought his drawers for a tie.

Lelouch stepped up, setting his Pepsi down on the top of the dresser. The source of the problem was rooted in the fact the Suzaku didn't seem to have any organizational skills. Lelouch reached into the drawer of everything pretty much to fish out a. Couple of ties. He tossed one back into the drawer, noting to organize later.

He swatted Suzaku hands away before he looped the tie over Suzaku's head and started on a knot that would be impressive, yet subtly. It wasn't typical, but it wasn't out reaching unless one looked close enough to realize it was a double knot instead of the typical tie knot. Lelouch then handed over the suit coat.

"Put it on," he hummed before he picked up the Pepsi again and started to take another drink.

"But that will be really hot!" Suzaku whined.

"It makes you look more professional." Lelouch growled. "Put on an extra layer of deodorant and suck it up." He rolled his eyes. Honestly sometimes Suzaku was such a baby!

Reluctant, Suzaku slipped his arms into the suit coat and shrugged his shoulders as if he was already uncomfortable.

"Button it up," Lelouch scolded as he gestured with his Pepsi.

With a grumbled huff, Suzaku did as he was told, buttoning the suit up.

Much better, Lelouch though as he smiled, smugness oozing, as he took another drink. The suit coat was exactly as fitted as Lelouch would have liked, but buttoning it up made it look more fitting around Suzaku's waist. He looked like a competent force not to be reckoned with at the very least. And Lelouch wasn't below taking the credit for it.

"Take a taxi," Lelouch said as he noticed that Suzaku was hunting for his wallet and keys. Knowing that oblivious boy, Suzaku would take the bus, just for the fact that it was cheaper.

"I have to, " Suzaku growled back at him. "I'm already running late." He turned to that bedroom door the instant he had his wallet into his suit coat inside pocket.

Lelouch followed of course.

It was clear that Suzkau didn't care if Lelouch stayed in his apartment as he found his keys on the kitchen counter and headed straight to the door.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch hissed as he came up to the kitchen table. His eyes must have been blazing as he set that Pepsi back done. Because _really? _Was Suzaku really just going to leave without even a second glance at him? His hand was already on the god damn door knob even!

Suzaku must have realized his mistake, but him making up for it wasn't that much of a relief, Lelouch observed. He rushed to give Lelouch another hasty kiss before he was already back at the door.

"Sorry Lelouch, I just really have to go." He explained as he pulled the door open and dashed out, "I'll see you later."

And that's all Lelouch was left with. Standing there alone in Suzaku's kitchen, Lelouch was just left there. His brow furrowed as he tried to possess what had just come to light.

He took another drink of Pepsi as his thoughts whirled. Suzkau was under stress, but what was-Suzkau had never just brushed Lelouch off like that, even when he was stressed.

Lelouch turned to the fridge. He opened reaching into it before he realized what he had been doing. This wasn't the typical times he was at Suzaku's apartment. There would be no reason to make a meal here, at least not now.

He pulled his hand back, and let the fridge door close. He looked down to the floor for a minute just breathing.

When he looked up he slowly gathered his things. He left the Pepsi on the table as he left. It had been a while since he'd been in the company of friends anyway. So why stay somewhere he was basically useless, when C.c. would at least have a dialog with him?

* * *

><p>By the time Suzaku stepped out of the cab, he was nervous enough that his palms were slick with sweat. His entire job was on the line for this dinner and he hated it. There wasn't much that Suzaku could do to make up for being late to his appointment anyway.<p>

He rushed to the doors, his mouth was already open as he approached the hostess.

And she was already smiling sweetly as she greeted him. "Major Kururugi, we've been expecting you." Her red lipped smile was as wide and forcibly polite as possible.

Suzaku felt as his brow puckered. He hadn't ever met her.

But she was already gesturing him to follow her. "This way please,"

His questions were then pointless he figured as he quickly followed on her heels. As soon as he could get to the table the better, after all.

She showed him through the main dining hall, filled with people before she started up the grand staircase to the balcony overlooking the main floor of the establishment.

Suzaku would have been more than satisfied just to amaze at the grandiose feeling of the establishment as he went. The gold inlaid into all the intricate carvings, framing what looked like hand painted panels and the carpet alone was rich reds, lined in more metallic gleams of gold. Suzaku swallowed, and hoped that there was at least something on the menu he could afford. Then again he was late so maybe he'd just get a water.

Lelouch was at home and would probably wrap up a dinner for him to eat later anyway. Lelouch was always thoughtful like that, Suzkau mused to himself. He came off as self-centered, but when he cared about someone, Lelouch turned nurturing. Suzkau reminded himself he'd have to thank Lelouch with something later.

The woman gestured him to follow her still back towards one of the balconies, Suzaku nodded to her overly eager smile before he followed a bit closer behind again.

"Suzaku!"

His head shot up at the sound of that voice. And he had to make sure his jaw didn't hang uselessly open for a minute as he made eye contact with his old partner.

"Gino?" Suzkau said it more to himself this time and he realized his friend was seated at the larger round table that was the same table Suzaku was intended for.

That huge smile on that giant's face was one Suzaku hadn't realized how much he had missed.

And then Suzaku was forced to stop as another towering man turned in his seat to look at Suzaku. Mid step, the glacier blue eyes made contact with him and Suzaku almost felt like ice shot through his veins. Then a pleasant smile spread on the mans sculpted features as he gestured to the table. "Major, please join us, we were just finished up ordering for you. Lieutenant Weinberg said that you wouldn't mind."

Much to his shame, his jaw hung there for a moment just as useless as ever before he scrambled to a seat next to Gino and managed to mumble, "Uh right, thank you... Sir..." He wasn't sure what to call him anyway. He was already amazed at the way the man had so casually acknowledged that Suzaku was late and yet he just swept it away with that pleasant smile somewhere all with in what Suzaku thought was he same sentence.

With that same smile the man abruptly stood then, "Oh my apologies, I haven't actually introduced myself to you, Major,"

A jab to his ribs made Suzaku shoot up a well to his feet. He would have shot a glance down at Gino if those icey blue eyes weren't already demanding his attention.

The man held a hand out to Suzaku. It was huge. Literally. Suzaku had never exactly been a small guy. He'd managed, despite his Japanese father to reach the six foot mark, barely but he'd done it around his last growth spurt in his early twenties. But his height Suzaku knew was never his strong point. He was broad and stout and built like a second generation Japanese wall. But he was a freaking tooth pick to this man.

"I'm Schneizel el Britannia, Cornelia's elder brother." He outstretched his hand even further.

Suzaku swallowed as he took the hand. Thinking to himself that this must be the reason that Cornelia looked like a freaking Amazon. The entire family must be towering and huge and frightening. Only these people. Only people who could instill fear and as just seen hope with just a couple of words all the way down to Suzaku's soul must be built like this They just needed such a large stature to contain all the power they could exhort over others.

"Uh, Suzaku—Kururugi," He added his last name knowing that this was formal. He was still hot from practically sprinting from the taxi and hurrying to keep up with that woman.

This smile that spread was smooth, like spreading warm butter, it came to Schneizel's face just that easy. "Very pleased to meet you. My sister has spoken quite highly of you as well as our family friend, Bismarck."

Suzaku swallowed again, gulped was probably better terminally to what he actually did. Friends in high places and places Suzaku was very involved in could be a good thing or an awful thing. He might get a promotion tonight or he might lose his job. The worst was that this kind of pressure was so different than the kind of pressure Suzaku loved. He loved the life threatening pressure. It was like a cool calm washed over him in those moments. He had objectives and he could act single mindedly then. Just get it done was the simplest way to put his train of thought under the pressure that was the greatest adrenaline rush Suzaku ever felt.

There was a firm shake to his hand before Schneizel took up his seat again. Following his example Suzaku sat as well. This time as he did he made a point to look at the four other people around the table. He knew none of them. He glanced at his former partner and quickly started to take cues from his friend and meeting the others there with a pleasant smile as conversation sparked up again.

* * *

><p>He'd learned the names of the other four people by the end of the meal. They were researchers the most notable was probably the Duke, or as he preferred to be called Dr. Lloyd Ashplund. The other more notable was an Indian woman named Rakshata. Between the two of them seemed to be most of the conversation—or argument. It was about half way through the meal that Suzaku realized that this was a business meeting.<p>

Of course it wasn't like any business meeting Suzaku had been to before in his entire life. Schneizel had a way of bending –no, dancing. The man treated it exactly like it was a dance around exactly what he wanted. It had worked as well, with in minutes Schneizel had found a way to pick out who he still wanted at the table and who he didn't. Two of the researchers had become insignificant within minutes of talking about their subjects. And somehow, Suzaku was still trying to catch up, Schneizel had made it as if the rejected researchers weren't even there and yet Suzaku still knew that they sat with them at the table.

Then Suzaku had been offered a drink and because he had a headache trying to keep up he'd taken it. And all hope was lost. He wasn't drunk, not even close. But with one drink of something with kick and Suzaku was numbed enough he didn't bother to try and keep up the play by plays. All he knew was that by the end of the night, he was pretty sure that Dr. Ashplund had won the business deal—or Schneizel had twisted it around so it sounded like it was a competition and that he had won. Suzaku stopped thinking about it.

And then they were all standing up and leaving. Suzaku wasn't sure why he had even been there but taking another cue from Gino he happily shook hands and smiled and went along with whatever was wanted from him.

Then there was a very large hand that came down on his shoulder. Suzaku felt his muscles froze as Schneizel made a casual offer to have a drink with Suzaku at the bar, as if it was just the end of the night's last call and that he just wanted to have friendly conversation.

By then, Suzaku had known better and he gave an affirmative.

He hadn't expected the drink to be so—private. He'd been given what tasted like bourbon after they had entered a small room, this one about twice as exquisite and richly decorated. It was more or a spacious parlor than a bar, Suzaku noticed but he stayed silent as Schneizel ordered a drink for himself.

"My sister had quite a few things to say about you, Suzaku." Schneizel said as he took a seat in one of the arm chairs.

It was amazing but Suzaku, even being the one standing didn't feel like he had any higher ground in this situation. He realized that Schneizel's cool composure was one to wait out a response from Suzaku. So he just sort of opened his mouth. "The Coronel is a—" what? He glanced to the side, searching for something to say. "the two of you are nothing alike."

That beckoned a deep rolling chuckle from Schneizel. "Why yes I imagine the comparison is quite stark." There was another flash of glacier eye, "She is a very strong woman, and she shows it through her entire demeanor."

"That's one way of putting it," Suzaku mumbled into his drink as he lifted it for another sip. He realized after saying it that it was probably the wrong thing to say. Eyes just slightly wider skirted to Schneizel's face.

There was a look of amusement that met him.

Suzaku was nowhere near relief though. He set his drink down on s side table. Drinking more and clouding his judgment and loosening his tongue weren't wise at the moment. He wasn't even sure why he was there any longer. Him or Gino for that matter! He hadn't even been given a chance to ask Gino what on earth he was doing here.

There was a pause, one that Suzaku wasn't finding comfortable. He shifted on his feet, but he wasn't sure he was allowed to sit down or not. He wasn't sure if he even needed permission. Should he ask?

This was the effect that the Britannian's had. Suzaku was starting to be completely convinced that that entire family must have some super power that was called pure dominance. They walked in a room and anyone there wondered if they should bow. It was crippling if they willed it and evne when they weren't swilling anything at all it was just there, in the room, making Suzaku stress and wonder if he was really safe as major. A freaking Major! He had job security at least until he walked into the same room as Britannia and then he wasn't sure that he had anything for sure that they couldn't rip away from him.

"You know, Suzaku, I don't know many people that know how to tie a knot like that."

Suzaku's eyes shot up. He was confused for a second before Schenizel gestured to his black tie.

"I'm sure it's not easy." Schneizel said with a pleasant tone.

Looking down, Suzaku figured he should just admit to the truth. "It wasn't me." _Where did that drink go again?,_ he asked himself. "I—" well might as well admit it now. He had commanders that knew I so why not this man? "My boyfriend is really helpful with stuff like this. He tied the knot. I'd have no idea how to do it." He gave a chuckle. Listening to it come out of his own mouth, he knew it sounded nothing close to natural.

There was that amused look back on Schneizel's face. "Oh really?" there was another smile. "Tell me more about him."

Suzaku hand was twitching back to that drink when he was startled again. "What?"

"Your significant other, I'd like to hear about him." Schneisl took a drink himself.

Suzaku took his hand off the glass as he tried to figure out what exactly it was that Schneizel wanted to know. "Well, he's…" what cold he tell? Then again what really did he know about Lelouch that Lelouch would feel betrayed if he told to someone? The answer was nothing. "He's younger than me, in college right now."

"Studying?" It was amazing how intrigued Schneizel manage to sound.

"Uh.." Suzaku stopped, realizing—he didn't know. He looked back down to the floor. He shook his head., trying to brush it off with a shaky smile. "I honestly don't know. I know he's probably told me. I must have forgotten." He gave a nervous laugh. That was a lie. He'd never asked Lelouch what he was studying. Lelocuh had never offered, but what was worse—Suzkua had never asked him.

Schneizel's brow rose in question.

Suzaku glanced away quickly again. He tried to think of something else to say about Lelocuh. His mind was—blank. He dint know. His brow furrowed as he realized, he didn't know anything. He didn't know how many siblings Lelocuh had, or if any. He dint know what year in school Lelouch was, he didn't know what Lelcouh wanted to be outside of school. He didn't know Lelocuh favorite—well anything. They had to have talked before though—at the restraint! They talked on their first date a lot at the restraint.

There was a frown that now tugged at Suzaku's lips. What had he ever learned on that date? Lelouch liked chess…. And he liked Suzaku. Suzaku eyes were shifting quickly as he tried to think of anything that he really knew beyond the chess and the common attraction towards each other. Had they even talked, Suzaku asked himself. It was as if they didn't even have anything in common!

Suzaku glanced up, Schneizel had a smile on, it was smile but it wasn't a smile.

Shaking his head, Suzaku cleared his mind. And just knew he had to stop this. "Sir, if you don't mind, what am I doing here?"

That caused another smile. "You were here tonight for my own entrepreneurial sake." Schneizel took a drink. "There needed to be a certain," he paused to search for the words, then it was there just as quick, "Kind of persuasion there at that table tonight. You and Mr. Weinberg did splendidly." He added the last with another smile into his drink. When he set the glass down he went on. "I would like to find out a few things from you though."

The room was very still this time as Suzaku closed his mouth, waiting for a moment before he spoke. "What do I have-?" what could he ever offer a Britannian?

Schneizel just le that amused look flash back onto his face. "I'm curious. For one, I'm very curious about you."

Standing there, Suzaku shoved his hand into his pocket, trying to stop himself from going for that bourbon on the table. His eyes narrowed just a touch.

And the change in expression must have been enough because Schneizel was off again, speaking in that level, and rich tone again. "Of course I'm not going to make you do anything Suzaku. I'm not here to present myself as your enemy. If anything I want to help you."

The use of his first name somehow, seemed like a token. A token of what exactly, Suzaku wasn't sure but it was certainly something.

"Bismarck, tells me that you're a great soldier." Schneizel still went on. "I've heard the same from my sister." There was another dazzling smile. "Trust me, Suzaku. I can assure you that you won't regret it."

Suzaku wasn't sure what there was to say.

"We're here to make you better." Schneizel was practically made the word sound like a soothing charm caste over Suzaku. "If anything we want to make you a better man, a better soldier."

Licking his lips, Suzaku managed to pull his gaze away to look to the door. Then he looked to the floor again.

"Well," Schneizel said as he stood. "I'm sure we can discuss this later. Your significant other must be waiting for you."

Suzaku was desperate for the escape this time. "Uh, uhm yeah, he's probably at my apartment still." If he was lucky Lelouch would spend the night again and there would be his cooking in the fridge and—and Suzaku wanted to ask a few questions of his own tonight.

The carpet muffled Schneizel's steps as he approached Suzaku. He let his hand rest on Suzaku's shoulder and gave it a pat as a softer smile spread on his lips. "We should let you go home to him then."

Nodding, Suzaku turned to the door.

"Suzaku?" that smooth voice rang out again.

Twisting, Suzaku still let his body face the door as he looked back. He didn't want to get pulled back into this. He wasn't sure how to—he wasn't sure of anything with Schneizel. It scared him and it was—comforting. He liked having someone that just gave orders, even if it was just with their manner and the way they held themselves Suzaku liked to have a chance just to be a soldier again. But since when was questions and talking a part of being a good soldier?

"I like talking to you." Schneizel stated. "You will join me again for dinner, say Thursday night?" It was hard to tell if it was a statement of fact or a real question. The first part of wanting to have dinner again wasn't an option, maybe it was the day that was the option...

Balking for an answer, Suzaku furiously tried to think of the right thing to say. Those cold eyes were telling him the right answer, but could he really, could he trust Schneizel? Could he trust the Britannian's? It felt like he was being warped into being one of them. And yet, wasn't he already? Bismarck was clearly knee deep in this family. Suzaku could at least put that much to get to know that Bismack was heavily involved in this family. So why not Suzaku?

And Suzaku just wanted orders. He wanted simple orders. And Looking in those eyes Suzaku knew he'd get exactly what he wanted in the end.

"Yes," Suzaku quickly added, "Sir."

The smile this time held something Suzaku didn't recognize. "Splendid. I'll have my secretary get a hold of you with time and place just as she did for tonight."

* * *

><p>When Suzaku opened his apartment door he found a cold apartment. He saw the Pepsi first, still three fourths of the way full and left on his table. Suzaku already knew, he just—he went straight to the fridge. There wasn't a plate wrapped up for him at all. He checked his voice mail, he checked ever surface in the apartment for that note. He went to the bedroom and the living room and everywhere else.<p>

In the end, he came back to the Kitchen and realized the only thing Lelouch left for him was the open pop can on the table.

Suzaku felt a twinge in his chest. It was sharp and hollow—and it hurt. His hand shaky he picked up the Pepsi. There was nothing in the apartment that was even Lelouch's and they'd been dating for how long? At least two months. And there wasn't honestly a thing of Lelouch's in the apartment?

Suzaku took a drink from the Pepsi. It was the most he could have of Lelouch at the moment—and it was lukewarm and flat. Suzaku throat tightened up, and he set the can back down. It was a bit bitter, or at least the realizations coming with it were.

* * *

><p>"So how's your little school boy?" Kouzaki's snarky comment reached Suzaku ears far too early that morning.<p>

"Excuse me?" Suzaku looked up from his desk. He was buried in more paper work and somehow he wasn't doing the best job of digging himself out this time. He had pen in hand as he looked up at the Private leaning in to his office.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder before giving him a sneer. "You know, your little college toy, how's he doing?"

Suzaku looked up at her. Did he even dare to answer? "Lelouch is fine." He decided on that was the best course of action. Keep it simple and get rid of the snarky bitch.

"I'm sure your little Bio Engineer is swamped with homework, isn't he?" Kouzaki jabbed again. " I mean it's finals in like a week, right?"

"Bio Engineer?" Suzaku said. Finals? What the hell was she talking about?

She looked confused this time, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yeah, he told me he was a Biological Engineering Major."

"He told you his major?" Suzaku was pretty sure that had been shot out a her a bit too quickly. But Suzaku didn't care. Why would Lelouch tell her? He'd never even mentioned his major to Suzaku! He never mentioned anything about himself to Suzaku! Suzaku set down the paper in his hand when he started to hear it crinkle as his fisted hand.

Kouzaki rolled her eyes. "Don't be so possessive golden boy, it was just a friendly conversation." She sauntered her way out of the office as if their conversation had clearly turned on her completely.

Suzaku was just left there, alone. And he hated it.

* * *

><p>I actually feel quite bad whenever I write about Kallen. I'm not a Kallen fan in the least bit. I think she's brash and lacking in several aspects. But just because I believe she's a completely unsympathetic character doesn't mean that in this story she needs to fulfill that role. So I'm trying very hard to write her in a likeable light and yet still maintain that shoot-first-think-later kind of attitude that is Kallen. So I hope I'm somehow succeeding, because her character really will play a significant role in the overall plot of this story. I am really sorry about the Kallen and Suzaku scenes. But Kallen just doesn't like Suzaku. Period. Suzaku never even had a chance of being on her good side really. , Kallen just hates Suaku in this fic.<p>

~Reviews are Awesome!~


	6. Being a Good Soldier

**Special Thanks: EchizmeRyomaLover, Wolf of Summer, Eien-Kiseki, luckless-is-me, EriEri99, Larien Surion, OrlandosLover2009, G. Wings, guest, Yarouka, OrangeFoxx, sad1st1c m1stress, Yuzuki Inohara, zemmeline**

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><p>Chapter Six<p>

Being a Good Soldier

1/12/2013 10:54 AM

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><p>The third dinner with Schneizel. The words ran over through Suzaku's head as he pulled on his suit coat. He still—he knew exactly what he was getting into. He'd always known. And yet starring at his own reflection, Suzaku was heading straight back there. In all honest he wasn't sure why he was even returning. The entire situation wasn't honest, it wasn't the way Suzkau knew he wanted things and yet-<p>

He cast a look behind him. Through the door way and hall to the kitchen he could see Lelouch sitting at the kitchen table, working on more homework. His laptop was out as well as text books and notes. The table was dominated by Lelouch and all of his things. Those violet eyes weren't glancing up though as Suzaku wished would happen. It would have been a terrible cliché, but Suzaku would have still smiled with affection if Lelouch would just look up at him.

Suzaku had laid awake night after night of that long week, thinking of Lelouch and the expensive dinners, and his job.

He never paid for a thing at one of these dinners, he never worried that he might even have to. Schneizel took care of it all and just required that Suzaku—sit and let his presence be used for Schneizel's own gains and ends. It felt a lot like Suzaku was being used—and at the same time, it made him feel useful. Instead of just pushing papers across his desk he actually felt like he was a soldier again. His skills as a soldier hadn't be called on yet, and Suzaku hated to think about if it ever will.

But he—He'd thought about Lelouch a lot lying on his couch at night.

You didn't even know his major! The thoughts growled at him anymore. He'd realized how much—he was using Lelouch. He let Lelouch clean his apartment, and make him food and keep him warm when they slept together on Suzaku's fucking couch. What was he giving back? Hell, he wasn't even giving back.

Schneizel, with everything that was entailed with these dinners, was opening doors to him. Suzaku had just been biting his time to leave, go back to a life in hotel rooms and hit and run missions. It was all he'd wanted for weeks. And it hurt to think that a majority of his relationship with Lelouch had been spent thinking that if Suzaku could just keep his head down he could leave any day now and go back in time, to who he was before he'd messed up.

With Schneizel, Suzaku could stay, he could have a future and he could actually invest something into the relationship with someone that might as well be a stranger as things stood now.

It was a possibility, if anything, it was hope for something better. The problem was Suzaku knew that hope had sharper talons than despair.

He tossed a tie over his head and walked out into the kitchen with a smile as Lelouch did this time look up from the assignment in front of him. "Would you mind?" Suzaku asked with that smile still a he tugged at the tie end, in a gesture he hope Lelouch caught on to. He hated it in himself, but beside wanting another nice knot in his tie, he had ulterior motives in this,. He was hoping that maybe he could hook in a kiss or two to come along with the close proximity.

There was another soft smile from Lelouch before he stood with smooth limbs. "Of course," There was a bit of smugness in that voice Suzaku noticed, but he just smiled in return.

Feeling their closeness, Suzaku let his hand rest on Lelouch's jutting hip bone. Lelouch was in another casual long sleeve button up and slimming jeans. He looked—relaxed, and even more he looked like he was comfortable in Suzaku's apartment. Suzaku glanced back at the table. He liked that Lelouch was fine with taking over his kitchen. It was setting a burn in him. There was a moment it ran through his veins fueling the fire of wanting nothing more than to excel at his new endeavors with Schneizel.

"Another dinner for work?" Lelouch inquired. He finished up with the tie, before tucking Suzaku's collar back over it and smoothing down the lapels of his panes gray suit coat.

Suzaku nodded. He hooked his arm around Lelouch's waist as he leaned forward, brushing his nose along that fine jaw line. "It's not as much pressure here." He assured. "I just—I need these, Lelouch." At least right now he did.

Lelouch's brow twitched as his eyes glanced up into Suzaku's face. He looked—inquisitive and at the same time, suspicions.

Suzaku didn't feel the desire to know what it was Lelouch was inquisitive about. He didn't need to know the details of it all. Instead he smiled again as he leaned forward. He kissed a corner of Lelouch's mouth, waiting patiently for Lelouch to turn to him. The moment their lips met again Suzaku dragged in a ragged breath. It had been too long since they had tried anything like this. Arousal shivered through his limbs and his arms tightened.

Lelouch gave a keening whine into the kiss and that was enough to prompt Suzaku forward. His arms tightened again before he cupped Lelouch thighs hauling him up and pressing him back to the table. Once perched on the edge it was easier for Suzaku to push forward. His hands surge up, grasping at that inky black hair as their tongues met in slick fulfillment.

The arousal was thumping through his head and lower before he could control it.

But he could feel that reproachful hand fleeting to his chest. And it was so—hard (pun intended) to step back, relaxing his hold on either side of Lelouch's face. As his eyes opened he knew that a satisfied smile was already on his face.

He was met with wide, studying eyes.

Confused, but knew he had probably over stepped his bounds Suzaku let his hands fall, leaving Lelouch's face with a soft caress along Lelouch's cheeks.

"Lelouch?" Suzaku uttered in his breath a second later when those eyes turned quizzical. "Did I do something wrong?"

Lelouch's brow furrowed, a look of what could be described as scrutiny playing across his features. "No." His eyes adjusted downwards. "I just got used to our-plutonic form of our relationship. You startled me, that's all."

Frowning, Suzaku wasn't sure he followed. How was sleeping under the same covers and sharing a pillow plutonic? "What? " he finally breathed.

A smile broke on Lelouch's face and he shook his head. "Never mind it, Suzaku." He leaned forward stealing another kiss. This time much tamer and quick. "You were perfectly fine."

In hopes of moving on to lighter topics, Suzaku looked down at the homework, Lelouch was now half sitting on. "What are you working on?"

Lelouch hummed and barely spared the work a glance. "Homework."

Suzaku wanted to say that even he was observant enough to get that little detail. Instead, to keep the peace he just plugged on. "For what class?"

It wasn't unnoticed the icy cool front that slid into place over Lelouch's countenance. "Just some math."

Lelouch clearly wasn't making this 'getting to know more about your boyfriends life' easy for Suzaku. So with a frown again, Suzkau gave up all subtlety. "I know, Lelouch." He glanced down. "I can see that it is math. I want to know more than the obvious." He waited for a response, but when he didn't get one Suzaku went on. "I'd like to know more about your life."

Those violet eyes shifted up to him. Lelouch's cool expression not giving away a damn thing as he still remained still in Suzaku's arms.

Felling like he should, still strive forward Suzaku kept going. "I want to know you. The real you." There was still no response. Suzkau leaned forward pulling Lelouch into an embrace. "I want you to be able to tell me things."

That same long boned hand was pressed to his chest again, urging him back but not enforcing. Suzaku looked down at it before he stepped away. Lelouch never enforced anything really, he just nudged and nudged and prodded until he had his victims where he wanted them.

Lelouch slid off the table, averting his eyes as he hooked around to start gathering his things. "We can talk later, Suzaku."

It was one of the coldest rebuffs he'd had in a long time. It-stung. It stung a lot coming from Lelouch, Suzaku realized as he took another step back, letting Lelouch have all the room he would like. He could feel that odd ache again in his chest, like a long punctured knife wound that had never healed, leaving him painfully hollow on the inside. He adjusted his tie, and cleared his throat, trying not to dwell on it.

When he looked up, he found Lelouch was gathering his things back into his messenger bag.

"You're leavening?" Suzaku murmured. He had hoped Lelouch would stay, and greet him when got home, and them join him for the night. It was a Saturday night and perfect that way. and if Lelouch didn't work in the morning they could spend part of the day together. It had been a while since they had done that...

"Yeah,"Lelouch breathed. It sounded a lot like an exasperated sigh.

Suzaku looked back down. Was Lelouch really that bored of his company?

"I promised a friend that I would swing by their house for a bit before I went home." Lelouch's eyes didn't lift as he spoke.

Unsure how to handle it, Suzkau looked down as well. He couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling that he should know as to where Lelouch was going, who was his friend, who was any of his friends? His entire life to Suzaku was just one big question mark. They went on dates where they barely paid attention to each other and when they did try to connect it was met with-nothing. Just like now. Suzkau could fell ha jaw clench with frustration. In correspondence his eyes averted and his arms crossed over his chest.

"I'll see you," Lelouch started before stoping, knowing they hadn't made any more plans for the upcoming week. He shrugged. "I'll see you later."

It was just so-cold. Suzaku smiled at Lelouch, enforcing the goodbye kiss. His hand on Lelouch's shoulder, he pressed the tender but fast kiss to his lips, not letting him side step out of it.

"Call me tomorrow?" Suzaku asked, his hand briefly brushing against Lelouch's cheek. "I like to know that your safe. I care about you know. I'm still here because I care about you."

Lelouch swallowed at the statement oddly enough. Before he pulled on a practiced smile and nodded. "Of course."

It was only a few seconds before Lelouch had slid out of the door, Suzaku could hear his hasty steps down the hall to the elevator.

Looking to the floor, Suzaku's resolved that he was going to find a way to fix this. If he was going to stay here, make a different life here, Suzaku knew he wanted Lelouch with him.

* * *

><p>When he entered, Suzaku was surprised to see that the same table that Schneizel always preferred was mostly empty. Schneizel sat with a drink of some kind in hand as he looked out over the balcony, seeming content to watch those below him.<p>

Suzkau cleared his throat, not wanting to surprise the larger man.

With casual ease, Schneizel turned to look at him. He smiled a pleasant, polite smile before gesturing to the chair across from him. "Suzaku, it's good to see you again."

Nodding, Suzaku stepped forward and took a seat. "Thank you, sir."

It didn't pass Suzaku's notice of the self satisfied smile that crossed Schneizel's face. Though not always obvious, Suzaku was quickly becoming aware of how much Schneizel enjoyed having other subservient to him. He took it with polite ease and assuring that he cared for others, but there was always that smile when ever Suzaku or Gino did as told with out question.

Maybe it wasn't self satisfaction. Suzkau mused to himself. It could very well have been confidence. It wouldn't be hard to believe that Schneizel found obedience a nice stroke to his ego. Unlike Lelouch, whose ego was probably just as large, Schneizel kept his under smooth expressions and soft words and pleasant, knowing smiles. He only flaunted power when it served his ends. Lelouch flaunted power when ever the opportunity was presented.

Suzaku sat back at the thought of Lelouch again. He let the waiter pour him what looked like white wine and turned to look out the balcony.

"You seem distant." Schneizels voice broke through Suzaku's self imprisonment of thought.

Sitting a bit straighter, Suzaku turned back to where he knew his attention should have been all along. "I'm sorry, sir, were you saying something?"

"It's quite alright," Schnzeizel smoothed over his napkin at the side if his plate. "Clearly what ever I was saying had no merit on you." He chuckled. The sound was low, rumbling, enough to make anyone squirm just a bit.

Not sure what to say to make up for himself, Suzaku realized he was stalling just a bit but switch subjects. "Who is joining us tonight?" He was surprised that at least Gino hadn't already come in.

"There is no one else that will be joining us for the evening." Schneizels glacier peaked eyes locked onto Suzaku. "Actually, I wanted to just have the evening with you. As I have mentioned to you, Suzaku, you are a curious person."

With those cold eyes on him Suzaku could feel as ever nerve in his body snapped to attention. It felt-oddly comforting. It was like the driving force in his bones that he'd missed since he'd been back in the states.

He still wasn't sure where to go with conversation though. It didn't matter how many times Schneizel tried to assure him that he wanted conversation with him because he was interesting, or curious, or fascinating, or whatever other word he chose to use, Suzaku still couldn't see it. He played his part at these dinners and in return Cornelia had stopped riding his arse over every thing and he had a measure of what felt-missing-returned to him. It was enough for him.

Schneizel just smiled again, this one the practiced pleasant smile he gave any one. He took the lead when it was clear Suzkau had no intention of speaking. "For now, lets just enjoy our meal?" It was more of a command than a suggestion, but Schneizel had a way of just doing that.

Suzaku nodded, glad for at least a bit of a reprieve. He relaxed enough he let himself reach forward for the glass of wine, taking an ample sip.

* * *

><p>Sitting in C.c.'s down stairs theater room, Lelouch realized he was holding his head in his hands.<p>

"You're paranoid." C.c. said in a solid voice. She was playing the part of the friend well for once.

"That's just it," Lelouch growled out from between his knees. "I don't think I am this time."

C.c. shifted a bit, clearly thinking. She was wearing only a large oversized night shirt, a peak of hip hugger panties in bright neon yellow visible at her hip and mismatched equally neon ankle socks. She seemed completely unaware that her cleavage and ample amounts of thigh were a shade just below proper scandal. Not that Lelouch minded, it wasn't like he'd ever be looking. He'd learned a very long time ago that the last thing on C.c.'s mind was propriety, especially when her parents weren't home.

Speaking of...

"Where are your parents?" Lelouch asked. He raised his head just enough to give her a look of skepticism.

C.c. seemed to think on it for a moment before she gave up and shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't seen them since July. The best guess would be Mexico or Burma."

Lelouch nodded before he shot back, "Burma?"

C.c. gave him a stare enough to make him realize it wasn't like he was much different. Thank God she didn't actually ask where Lelouch's mother was. His guesses were as pleasant as Burma.

It wasn't like Lelouch could really say his life when his mother had been sober was any different either. He stopped for just a minute. His mind was caught up in the paradox of the thought that rich family's seemed to be the ones to have time for their children, and yet they were the ones that seemed to shove them off to boarding schools the most. Snapping himself out and back to the present he gave a sigh.

"He knows."

"You're paranoid." C.c. repeated as if the y had never taken a pause in topic. "Really how could he know anything?"

"You weren't there." Lelouch hissed. "His questions weren't the normal Suzaku kind of questions. He's being driven by something."

"And that something has to be that he knows your real age?" C.c. Let her eye brow raise in a fashion Lelouch was sure shed picked up form him. "That sounds absurd, Lelouch. Listen to yourself for once, love."

He wasn't convinced. His head lowers back between his knees and into his hands. "He knows something. He was-I mean god, he sounded like Schneizel!"

That finally perked his best friends interest. C.c. Studied Lelouch across from her on the couch for a moment before she spoke. "You don't think it could be your elder brother?"

Lelouch shook his head. He'd already entertained that thought several times, each time finding it extremely unlikely and tossing it aside. "No." He breathed out slow trying very hard not to feel hopeless. "Schneizel sounded like-this sounds bizarre-but like he wanted Suzaku around when he mentioned him."

"But he knows about him?" C.c. clarified as she watched Lelouch much more intently.

"Most assuredly. " Lelouch said with a sneer of disgust for the mere fact of it. "He knows more than he's telling too. When he mentioned him, it was Major Kururugi, besides the fact that he picked me up at Suzaku's apartment."

C.c. kept him in that intense stare. "Then I don't see why this couldn't be him."

"It's not." Lelouch hissed. "My brother wouldn't be that straight forward. He wouldn't be the one to tell Suzaku. He seems to want him there too much."

"All that from mentioning him once in a goodbye?" This item it was C.c. that sounded skeptical.

Lelouch tried to concentrate on breathing properly. "That's the way it works in my family. One word means way more than just that one word." It was harder to explain Lelouch was realizing than probably should be necessary. "Besides, if Schneizel was displeased by Suzaku's presence he would have just had him somehow quietly and discretely removed." Lelouch shook his head. "No, there's something about Suzaku he likes, other wise he'd just show indifference if he didn't care about him."

"We'll, wouldn't caring about him be enough to prompt him into some sort of action towards you?" C.c. countered with a quick tongue. "This isn't a stretch to think that your brother would want Suzaku to at least know who he is actually dating." She sneered at him this time around. "Honestly, it's you who seems to be skirting past these glaring facts. You're letting preconceived notions cloud your judgement."

That was a hit right at his ego. Lelouch knew he probably deserved it as well. It had been weeks since he had paid his friends much heed. Spending time at Suzaku's apartment was so much easier after all.

His apartment was like-a different world. Lelouch had to fess up to nothing there, he didn't even have to be himself. He was using his relationship as an escape. And he was pretty sure that Suzaku was doing the same thing. It was nice to have an out in life when it was harsh.

C.c. was still waiting for her answer though, Lelouch noticed. "I highly doubt that this is my brothers doing. I haven't crossed his rules yet. Until we rattle each others cages there is no reason to take action against me." It was true. Lelouch had been a good little brother. He'd distanced himself, but still let Euphie into his home. That had been Schneizel's condition. And he was sure that he would have been some how notified if that had changed.

Changing gears, C.c. shrugged. "Well, then play this out, how do you expect Suzaku would act if he ever were to find out?"

She had a point this time around. Lelouch sat back into the couch. "Angry. He wouldn't like lies, and he especially wouldn't like lies between us." Lelouch sighed. "Or exactly like he did, coming to me with open arms. Telling me he cares and that it would be fine to tell him. Trust is big for him.. I think." They never talked about anything substantial in their lives so Lelouch really couldn't be sure. "Our relationship is out of convenience, " Lelouch murmured as if to explain his failure to give a straight answer.

"And you're sure that it wasn't just curiosity?" C.c. purred.

Shaking his head, Lelouch's wanted to lean forward again. "Why would he be curious now?" He was trying to fool himself now. "No. I say he knows."

It was quiet for a few moment between them.

But as she always did C.c. made sure to hit the nail of reality right on the head, pounding it through Lelouch's psyche. "Than if he knows, what are you going to do about it?"

Lelouch did lean forward again. "I can't have this over my head. If he knows," he had to stop. Suzkau was his escape in life. He was someone to turn to when he didn't want to be Lelouch anymore. This was going to be hard. "I can't stay if he does know."

"Wouldn't he be the one to get in trouble?" C.c. asked. She was just as accustomed as Lelouch was to bending the rules. "Why not continue if in the end he'd be the one to take the blame?"

"That would be cruel." Lelouch growled. He was all for bending things around to fulfill his own ends, but Suzaku was someone that actually meant something to him. Hurting Suzaku would in turn hurt Lelouch from knowing he'd caused the pain. "Besides statutory rape victim isn't exactly something I could put on my résumé. Besides all the other crap that could be strapped on to him."

C.c. shrugged again. Her attention had already shifted as she snagged a Pizza Hut menu from a side table. "It's up to you. You're the one who pushed the relationship with him." She stopped thinking a moment. "Maybe a two month fling was all you needed. I'm sure there are boys at least in our own age range that wouldn't mind a shot at you."

Lelouch just sighed. He didn't want any of those boys though. But how else was he supposed to get around this? He hated it when the inevitable swung around to bite him in the arse.

* * *

><p>When the meal was through, as alway Schneizel lead the way to retire in the back more private bar room. It was the same room that Suzaku guessed Schneizel always used. Suzaku was starting to wonder if Schneizel owned the restaurant or if the restaurant simply valued his patronage enough to alway keep the small bar room open for him.<p>

Regardless, Suzaku took another drink. It was brandy this time. It wasn't a bother since in all honesty Suzaku could never tell the difference between drinks like brandy and bourbon and scotch. He'd always just preferred a shot of vodka more than anything. Then again he'd never drank at such a lax social level. Usually he drank for the sole purpose of being so shit faced he could barely remember his own name.

Actually, that idea didn't sound so bad at the moment. In response to that thought, Suzaku kicked back the rest of his drink. It wasn't exactly the burn he wanted to feel weighing all the way down to his stomach, but it was a good enough. Besides, getting drunk in Schneizel's company didn't sound like a good idea. He had a couple of good things going for him after all, and Suzaku was getting exactly what he wanted out of it. There was no way the Suzaku would fuck that up on purpose.

"Is there a lot on your mind, Major?"

Startled, Suzkau knew he must have looked like a deer in the headlights as his head shot up. He opened his mouth but all that managed to fumble out was a tangle of words. "Uh, uhm, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize..." He let his words fade, knowing he wasn't helping his case any.

Schneizel only gave a bemused smile. "It's quite alright." He poured himself another drink before looking to Suzaku again. "I'd much rather know that your mind is preoccupied than learn that my company bores you to the point you feel you must retreat inward."

Shaking his head, Suzaku took a step forward. "No, sir, really, I am sorry. I was just-"

That raised white gloved hand made Suzaku stop, swallowing and cursing all the while in his head. "It's quite alright, Suzaku." The tall man took a seat in the broad leather armchair he seemed to prefer and motioned for Suzaku to take a seat as well. "There is something troubling you though, I take it?"

It was a polite one Suzaku didn't quite know if he was comfortable to answer.

The one similarity between Schneizel and Cornelia seemed to be their hunger for information from Suzaku. The difference was in the implementation. Cornelia forced answers out, regardless of whether Suzaku wanted to give the or not. On the other hand, if he refused to give information to Sxhneizels subtle questions he received that smile in returns. Suzaku wasn't sure what he thought about that smile. It was like a whisper to him, telling him that sooner or later, Suzaku would tell Schneizel anything he asked.

That caused Suzkau to pause a moment, looking at the chair Schneizel offered. If it wasn't tonight that Suzaku talked than Schneizle would just invite him to dinner again. Though invite seemed like the wrong word, strangely.

It was better to get it over with Suzaku decided as he took a seat in the opposite armchair. "It's just been a long night." It was a dismissing statement. One he hoped Schneizel wouldn't take the wrong way, though he doubted he would just let it be. "I don't mean to be preoccupied."

"I don't think that is ever your intention, Suzaku." He gave Suzaku another amused smile. "You seem like the sort of person who strives to keep with in others good graces."

Suzaku smiled as well. That was probably the kindest way Suzaku had ever been told that he was a push over. It certainly wasn't the first time he'll been called that either.

He chuckled to himself as he reached for his empty glass. "We'll, unfortunately I'm not doing too well at that at the moment." He poured himself another drink, because why not?

Schneizel set his own glass down, his eyes still shifted to watch Suzaku. "My sister has assured me that you've been doing quite well at work. Therefore it must be other problems I'm assuming."

He was good at this, Suzkau thought. If nothing else Schneizel was usually right on the target when it came to assumptions. And though giving a sigh, knowing the last thing Schneizel probably wanted to talk about, polite or not, was Suzaku's ineptitudes.

But those icy eyes were still watching him, and this time they expecting an answer.

So with a a shrug Suzaku figured he could spit it out and they could move on to another subject. "My-" Suzaku had to think exactly what to call Lelouch. "I believe, I told you I had a boyfriend?" Suzaku looked up for confirmation. He knew that by now there wasn't much risk but in the back of his mind he still worried.

He was met with another smile and nod, urging Suzaku to continue.

The last thing that Suzaku ever expected in Schneizel's company was awkwardness. Suzaku swallowed again. His throat brushed up against his collar, reminding Suzaku of the neck tie Lelouch had knotted for him earlier that night. God, talking to Schneizel even felt like a betrayal now. Wasn't relationship matters supposed to be kept between the two of them? Then again really what was there between the two of them at all anymore?

"He's distant from me." Suzkau concluded on looking down at his hands. "It's understandable he and I are at different points in our lives. But I've been-" he had been about to say, 'here.' "Absent," Suzaku decide that word was much better, less accusatory, "and I think that he feels like I don't have a place for him." This shouldn't be as hard as it was. Suzaku looked to his drink. Damn it all, he just wanted to get drunk! Maybe he'd call Gino later and they could go do just that. He had been looking forward to seeing his old partner anyway. "He's running from me."

That was the best way of putting it. Suzaku refused to look up fromhis hands or go on. There wasn't much that he could do to quaff the feeling he'd just hadn't ex over insignificant information to a man who would most likely find it laughable.

When the silence continued, Suzkau looked up, wanting to at least know if he had spoke out of turn.

Schneizel was sitting back, his eyes clear but not on Suzaku any longer. His long white gloved fingers stroked the side of his glass.

"Suzaku," his voicewas as deep as those oceanic blue eyes. "You know by now there are certain reasons I invited you here." He didn't even wait for a confirmation before those eyes shifted and he had Suzkau pinned with ease under the scrutiny of eyes Suzaku was sure he'd never dare lie to. "I want to make that clear to you." Schneizel shifted, raising his chin just a fraction. "There will be opportunities that I will require you to prove yourself. And in return, I'm sure you know we will reward you."

Nodding, Suzaku could feel his limbs singing. In his minds eyes he knew he probably looked like a drooling mongrel just begging for the next orders. He wanted that back so much he could barely function. He wanted orders, he wanted rules, he wanted someone to tell,him what to do and how to do it and Suzaku wanted the satisfaction of doing it and doing it right. His body leaned forward, still nodding, just slightly.

He was met with a smirk this time from Schneizel.

It was so nerve racking. Suzaku could Hear it! He could hear the offer in Schneizel's words, he just, just-damn it! Suzkau knew, he knew enough to know that the offer wasn't extended yet.

His eyes narrowed and he bared his teeth. "I'll do my best." I'll prove myself.

There was another smirk this time to answer him.

And Suzaku could feel that rush through his bones. It was a chance to go at it again, a chance to prove to another commander that Suzaku could and would be the perfect soldier. Suzkau felt invigorated by it. He loved the task and the challenges, he loved being able to look ahead and see a mountain only thus waiting to be scaled.

Just then a smartly dressed man hastily walked into the room, his eyes down, he walked straight to Schneizel. He bent, murmured something in his ear before standing straight again. Suzaku leaned forward a bit more, but still couldn't catch anything said as Schneizel nodded to the man.

"It seems I must cut this evening short." Schneizel said as he looked up. "A rare order of business has come up."

As eager as Suzaku was to find out what he was missing out on, he was obedient enough that was a polite dismissal. "Of course, sir. I'll let you go then." He started to walk to the door after giving one last nod in farewell.

"Suzaku," Schneizel said just as Suzkau had been about to exit.

Turning, Suzaku made ensure to seem at Schneizels disposal as he looked at him.

"I'd like to have dinner with you again like this, though this time I have some people I'd like you to meet." Scneizel said, he wasn't smiling in the least bit now. Instead a cool, calm mask had slid into place.

Cautious of the change, Suzkau dutifully nodded. "Of course, sir." He turned to leave again.

"Though," Schneizel waited for Suzaku to turn and look at him. "I want you to bring your significant other." Those icy eyes alighted up to meet Suzaku's. "I'm sure he'll feel much more engaged in your relationship if he can come and participate at least in this aspect of your life."

Not sure what to make of that, Suzaku just nodded again. This time when he turned to leave he wasn't called back.

* * *

><p>Lelouch had arrived home to find his sister sitting on the stairs. It startled him so much, Lelouch had to take a step back. Sure he usually acted like the high schooler he was, sinking below the standards of a high brow Britannia many a time, but-Euphie? She was alway the proper princess required of her.<p>

He wasn't sure what to do. This wasn't what Lelouch had expected at all. He crept closer, easing his bag from his shoulder and down to the floor. His sneakers made little sound as he shifted closer to his sister,

Euphie had her knees up, arms draped over her legs in a tangle of limbs and bent down ward. Her usual smooth silk waves of hair flooding around her but the odd kinks and lank way her hair fell over his shoulders were sign enough that she hadn't bother to take much care of it.

Quiet as he could, Lelouch stepped closer, coming upon the stars he lowered himself down to the seconds step, trying to place himself on her level.

She raised her head just enough so Lelouch could hear her as she spoke. "Lelouch," her voice cracked. "I need your help."

Startled by the plea it took Lelouch a minute to process. He reached out his hand laying it gently on Euphie's shoulder. "What happened?" He asked in a firm voice.

Euphie leaned against himthen, letting her weight shift on to Lelouch.

Taking a deep breath, Lelouch didn't move himself. It would look cowardly if he shifted her weight off of him. Besides, Lelouch knew she wouldn't have even been here unless she really did need his help.

"I did something." She said in a quiet voice. "Something I know father wouldn't want. I thought it was right, I thought I could make it up."

Lelouch stared, not quite sure if what he was hearing correctly or not. Of all the people in his family, of every last one of them, the last person he expected of turn was his innocent little Euphie.

"Odysseus was here." She whispered her head was still up just enough to speak. "The way he left, Lelouch he knows. He knows what I did." She cracked this time. She raised her head just a touch more so that Lelouch could see that terrified tremble of her lips stuck in a frown, a second later with a. Sharp intake of breath a whimper broke out as tears surged for her eyes. "I didn't think it would go this wrong!"

So inept at comforting , Lelouch had to scramble, pulling his arm around his sister and hugging her close. He couldn't brings himself to lie to her though. If it really was that bad, if there really was a chance that the family knew-well, then Lelouch knew that was reason enough to be here like she was. His jaw ached as the muscles tightened.

After calming her down enough with soothing words and comforting gestures, Lelouch managed to pull away enough to be able to see her face. He wanted that small amount of contact. He needed her to realize that he was asking her. If this really was that serious he needed to know everything's in hopes of solving it.

"Euphie, what happened? " he asked. His voice broke, reflecting a bit more of that rough frantic emotion swirling around in his mind. It was unrefined and in response Lelouch cleared his voice and tried again. "What went wrong? What-" he hated the implications of this question but it had to be asked, so he went on. "What did you do?"

Through the tears and the hiccups for air and her delicate, shaky hands trying to wipe at her face, Euphie looked to be trying very hard to surface with words. "It just-I didn't mean for things to go this way." She broke into another sob.

Lelouch held her closer to his side. He took in a breath. He needed Euphie to calm down enough to be able to get something done. If nothing else he just needed information for a start.

"Euphemia," Lelouch let his voice drop into a deeper tone. It worked enough that those cloudy and teary eyes flicked up to him. "I want you to tell me what you can. I can't help you if you keep this from me."

She swallowed, nodding. Logic wasn't always a strong argument with Euphie, but a bid for needed information it seemed was a successful one. Her fingers tried to smooth over her dress before, an attempt to appear as if she was some what composed. "I -"she look in a shaky breath. "It was so stupid." Her voice broke. "My roommate, she needed some money." Her eyes skirted back down to the fold of the dress. Her gave a deep frown as wave of sadness quieted her voice. "I never thought this would happen. Out of everything's that could happen, this was so-so unreachable I didn't even think of it."

She wasn't going quickly enough for Lelouch. It was frustrating but in response he only let his own frown deepen before he laid his hand on Euphie's arm. Chaffing over her sleeve he urged her on with out pushing the matter too forcefully.

He already knew a few things. It had to do with money, but with his family so it was never just money. Indulgence on money was tossed aside with a snort and he was sure Euphie would have been given the funds for such a thing with out a second thought ever again. But lending money was something entirely different. Debts were something important to the family. Having unpaid debts made one in the servitude of another after all.

He stifled his train of thought though as Euphie sucked in another breath, ready to speak again it seemed. It would be beneath him not to center all his attention on his dear sister.

"She told me it was for after she graduated. She needed it to start on her internship and start on her own business."she was rambling seeming to search for the right words. "She just said she needed a down payment and that she would pay me back."

Of course, Lelouch couldn't stop his mind this time around. He was making connections at a pace he hadn't had to think since his last interlude with his elder brother. It just made sense, someone was in need and the moment they asked Euphie rushed in to give of her self. Lelouch could feel the tightening of his brow as his eyes narrowed. His was leading in a very bad direction.

"I didn't know." She whispered this time. "It as too late after I'd given her the money that I found out and I never thought-this wasn't supposed to happen." Her voice cracked again.

This was the point Lelouch knew he needed the information. The peak, climax, the one thing that would give him enough to at least to form some sort of counter. "What happened?." He knew his cold voice bit too much but the were past the point of soft coercing.

Scarred lavender eyes started straight ahead. "I found out," she stopped again , her mouth half open as if a hollow wail would echo forth. Her head dipped as her voice quitted in tone. "She used the money for refrain."

That was the essential link. Eyes wide Lelouch knew exactly why she had come to him. He was the only one they knew had any sort of experience with real sin in the family and a sin so closely tied with the drug that pulled forth feelings of nostalgia.

But those eyes were straight ahead still as she went on. "I found out from the officer that was arresting her for possession and distribution."

Lelouch stood immediately. This had turned very quickly and he hated it in himself but he took a few very hasty steps back from his sister. Just as abrupt those lavender eyes, still wide and watering, were on him, looking for hope that he wouldn't betray her.

He could have helped her, the thought was running rampage in his mind. He could have helped her if it was just the refrain use. Lelouch new how to cover up the tracks when it was just use. He'd done it before with his mother, picking upon where she has slacked and hiding all implication to the family in every way possible. The difference, was that his mother was still family, she wasn't stupid enough to get caught, and even if she did, the would be no charges pressed again a former Britannian,

This was entirely new territory and dangerous enough that Lelouch had never even considered it.

His sneaker snapped against the hard wood floor as Lelouch took a strong step forward. "Did you tell them?" He hope his sister wasn't that stupid, but then again she just proven she was too trusting of others, too naive, too innocent to realize that not every one had such obvious motives.

"No." Euphie sobbed, her head shook with enough force to tossed her hand over her shoulders. "I just stayed quiet, and I left. As soon as I could, I left. " she looked back up to Lelouch. "I told them I was just in shock, that I need distance, and they said that was alright. They said it would be okay, they just needed me to come in later for an official statement."

This was beyond what ever circumstances Lelouch had imagined. To the family, what Euphie had done, her carelessness, could be see as damnable treason. And because she was Brittainian the punishment for such a careless and dangerous act so closely and so easily related to the family would be sever.

"And Odysseus, he knows, he knows for sure?" Lelouch questioned further.

Euphie nodded. "He got the call while he was with me. I thought I'd at least have a day or so before they started to track down the funding."

Naive, the word was sneered in Lelouch's mind. Drug money was one of the first to be tracked, that was why the Britannians stayed as far from it as possible. It here were just some rule that remained intact if the Britannians wished to maintain their noble facade.

A sharp pain was sparked in his jaw as Lelouch noticed he was grinding his teeth. This would cost him. As much as he loved his sister she had no idea how much this would cost him.

"Come on," Lelouch growled as he retrieved his jacket. He needed Euphie somewhere safe while he worked to handle this.

Euphie rose on shaky knees as she found her own pea coat and followed.

Lelouch was calling on several favors all at once. He wasn't happy about it and he was less inclined to think that Euphie would return him with any compensation. Not for the fact she wouldn't want to, but more from the fact Lelouch knew that there was nothing that Lelouch would value that was in his sisters ability to give. He hated it in himself, but at the same time, he could feel his thoughts turning, rolling, shifting Euphie in to a completely different category in his mind from that point on. She was a liability now.

* * *

><p>He wasn't nearly as hammered as he wanted to be as Suzaku slumped back into his couch. Gino was out of town, meaning if Suzaku wanted to drink he'd have to do it alone. And he hated drinking alone. Instead of happy he turned somber. Suzaku.'s eyes narrowed as the thought passed him. He acted like his father when he was drunk alone. And there was nothing that he liked about that thought.<p>

The thoughts quickly turned as he noticed that his living room had been straightened up. It was Lelouch's doing. Probably while Suzaku was getting showered and changed. He only sighed more at that thought.

The feeling that he was loosing all utter control of his life permeated the room. He rested his head back on the couch. He should probably go eat something, of course instead of drowning himself in more alcohol.

But he wanted to be irresponsible and mourn his preeminence of his losses now that he had the time to do so. So he shrugged off his suit coat as he stood. Retreating back to his bedroom he removed the tie as well and unbuttoned the shirt at his neck.

When he was back in the kitchen he rolled up his sleeves as he retrieved a glass from his cabinet. Once he had a drink in hand he slumped back into a chair as his kitchen table. He pulled his laptop closer, starting it up. The glow of that white apple against the table top distracted Suzaku just enough for a moment before he shook his head and took a long gulping drink.

It burned satisfying all the way down, just like cheap alcohol should. He laughed to himself as he thought about the fact that besides having a mostly scarce house, he at least had alcohol.

Opening up the web browser, and with Lelouch still on his mind, Suzaku typed in 'bed sets' to the search bar. He could at least try to placate Lelouch into staying with him just a bit longer maybe if they could actually sleep comfortably when Lelouch spent the night.

He'd already sat back, drinks in hand, pursuing through the first departments stores choices, when he was startled by a knock on his door.

* * *

><p>He didn't look at Euphie as he stood there in front of Suzaku's apartment. He could feel it in the weight of his limbs or how every thought of her turned to a sneer. He could feel it, and yet he knew at least for the moment, he couldn't stop it. It was resentment, already taking root so deep he knew it would be hard to dig out later.<p>

Even thoughts he had never harbors against his sister before where surging forward, tearing through his insides with socking sped and accuracy.

...of course he would have to help her, the perfect little Euphie. The one with the model mother, the one that had everything at her life perfect and pristine. None of their siblings despised her for things she couldn't control!

He closed his eyes taking in a breath before he lifted his hand, clearing the images back at the same time and knocking on the door.

If he wanted to be able to fight this battle for Euphie he would have to think of her as he had just a few days ago, just a few hours ago, and keep that solely in mind. He would lose if he dwelt on this and let this infect him.

When the door opened, Lelouch kept his head down and flicking his eyes up as Suzaku.'s mouth dropped open at the sight.

If it had been just a few hours ago, Lelouch would have noticed the casual way Suzaku was stirring his attraction. But it wasn't and at that moment the last thing Lelouch needed was the haze of arousal to cloud his judgment of a situation. So ignoring everything else, Lelouch did notice the drink in Suzaku's hand.

"Lelouch...?" Suzaku seemed to finally find his voice. As expected, immediately Suzaku's gaze shifted to Eupie, but to be courteous he focused back on Lelouch.

He tipped his chin up, still wearing a finely knit mask of anonymity as he asked. "May we come in?"

It was enough to clearly tip Suzaku off of the situation as he gestured in, stepping out of the way. "Of course," he murmured low as Lelouch passed him.

Once in the kitchen, Lelouch was pleased to see that Suzaku had followed. He set down the drink on the table. His eyes shifted between Lelouch and Euphie in a way that Lelouch immediately knew he had made the right choice.

He didn't know exactly what Suzaku had done in the military before they had met, but he knew enough from their first date. Suzaku, if nothing else, could be trusted to keep a secret, not ask questions where it wasn't necessary, and to be able to keep this situation in well working order without having to delve to deep.

Lelouch was impressed as he wondered around the kitchen table to the fridge. He noticed with a touch of interest the browser and web page open on Suzaku's Mac, before he opened one of the cupboards.

"Euphie, would you like something's drink?" He asked.

She was shivering again, and her eyes shifted at the oddness that it was Lelouch offering instead of Suzaku. Lelouch shrugged it off. He already knew he would tell her that Suzaku was a close friend, so he had little worries.

He looked at Eupie more pointedly when she didn't answer. "Uh, " she stammered. "Water would be fine."

Lelouch filled the glass in hand with cool water from the fridge and went around the table to give it to Euphie. Resting his hand on her shoulder, Lelouch tried to soothe her further for a moment.

After she took a drink, and inhaled a few deep breathes Lelouch took his hand away, gesturing instead to the living room. "Go sit down, okay." What he really wanted to say was that he wanted to speak to Suzaku alone, but he felt that Euphie was better handled at the moment with-well, handling her as if she were a child. Unlike Lelouch, she would be the last to resent the coddling treatment.

She nodded, dutifully doing as told and shuffled into the living room, clutching her glass of water close.

In a second, Lelouch had rounded on the table again, coming up to Suzaku's side. The older boy watched his sister with trained eyes, keeping silent and still until he saw her enter into the living room and sit at the couch. Then his head turned to Lelouch.

And that was when Lelouch wasn't sure he was ready. He looked down at the laptop. "I like the ones with wooden frames." He said in a quiet tone. No longer commanding now that he considered himself speaking to an equal. "I think you should get something with posters, and a darker finish, it would look nice in your bedroom."

Suzaku stepped closer to Lelouch, glancing down at the laptop screen.

Lelouch looked away, feeling that resentment starting up again, still centered straight on his sister. He was about to lie to Suzaku. He was going to lie to Suzaku. Again. And this time Lelouch doubted it would be worth it. And it was her fault! Damn it all it was all her fault!

Lelouch felt the sting in his chest finally. He hated that it wasn't just casual between Suzaku and him, no matter how much he wanted to proclaim that to C.c. And he hated that he was still thinking about breaking up with this man and he hated that he didn't want to. He hated that Suzaku cared enough to try and find something Lelouch would like and he hated that Lelouch was going to leave that. He hated that he was going to throw it all away.

The difference was now he had someone to shovel all that blame onto. Wrong or not, falsely founded or not, Lelouch's emotion latched on to the idea that this was her. It was all her, she had caused this rift between Suzaku and Lelouch, and now she was the one forcing Lelouch to pry it even farther open.

Because not only was he going to lie to Suzaku, Lelouch knew he had to give him some truth as well.

Suzaku shifted closer, his hand coming up-

But before lelouch turned away from the living room, squarely facing Suzkau as he hissed, "don't."

Hovering in mid air for a moment, Suzaku was still, and silent. Then slowly he let his hand drop.

Placing his gaze on Suzaku, Lelouch dropped his tone as he started to speak. "I need your help."

A nod was his answer, swift and assuring and everything that Lelouch could have hoped for from his lover. It still didn't make the next part any easier.

"I also need to tell you something." Lelouch swallowed, licking his lips a second later.

Those eyes narrowed on him. Suzaku head tilting just slightly. "What?"

It startled Lelouch for a moment how eager Suzaku had sounded. At the same time it also tore into his insides, confirming that Suzaku probably already knew Lelouch coveted secret.

Taking a breath Lelouch plowed ahead. "I haven't actually," he paused to glance in the direction of his sister, just to check, before he progressed. "No one knows about you in my life."

Those eyes narrowed agin, this time there was a spark, an intensity that was triggered. And Suzaku stepped-no, he charged a step forward. "Excuse me?"

It was anger, but the same cold kind that Lelouch had witnessed once before, so he knew he could withstand. In hopes of gaining standing back he explained further, "I never told anyone but a couple of close friends about you. " he paused before honestly adding. "There was no reason to tell them."

"No reason?" That was a hiss, and certainly not a question Lelouch knew Suzaku actually wanted answered. "So I'm nothing to you?"

The irony was that it was just the exact opposite. Lelouch knew he never told anyone because Suzaku mattered to him. And now he even wished he'd never told, C.c., the one person who did know.

Lelouch shook his head. "That's not how I meant it." He exhaled and went on. "They can't know, Suzaku."

The soldier was already backing away from him, but not in retreat-in refusal. The rejection stung at Lelouch's core.

"It's very hard to explain to you," Lelouch knew he was damn near pleading. "It's so-so complex, no one in my life would have understood-"

"I don't understand!" Suzkau growled. His voice had elevated to the point it shot through Lelouch only a footstep away.

There was rustling for the living room and everything went still. It figures. Euphie had never been around confrontation, let alone the kind that involved blatant emotion and straightforward communication. The went room still as everyone waited for the moment to pass.

He closed his eyes, openings them again only when he felt he had something's say to persuade Suzaku on to his side again. "You mean more to me, than even I realized." He whispered, just loud enough that he knew Suzaku could hear him.

That stolen cold expression and darkened eyes at least didn't look as though they were murderous Lelouch observed as he watched his lover.

"Please," he was for sure begging at this point. "Help me. I need you right now and I need you to help me keep this-us-secret."

Lelouch watched carefully this time. Suzaku still looked right back at him. Those green eyes flicked over Lelouch's face, and Suzaku's brow tightened for just a fraction of a second before-there was a release of breath at the same moment Suzkaus shoulders went lax. Lelouch didn't think either of them realized how they had tightened and rose wight the tension.

"Alright," Suzaku breathed.

Lelouch felt his own relieved breath leave his lips.

"But," those sharp eyes were instantly back on Lelouch.

Lelouch paid his full attention in return. He owed Suzkau a debt. He knew even if Suzkau didn't. He was also aware that Suzaku may want something else, something Lelouch couldn't handle or accomplish.

"I expect full explanation the moment you can give it to me."

A smile spread on Lelouch's lips and he leaned forward, his body hiding his actions, he rested his hand on Suzaku's chest. "I promise, I'll give you as much as I can."

There was skepticism this time in the way Suzaku titled his head, but it must not have been enough to cause him to falter because a second later Suzaku nodded and looked to the living room. "May I ask who she is?"

Lelouch was pleased that it was an answer he could freely give. "She's my sister."

Suzaku glanced back at Lelouch, clearly curious before he looked back to Euphie sitting on the couch. "Why is she here?"

With a sigh, Lelouch stepped away. Things had gone smoother than expected, though not perfect, but that still left Lelouch with the living part.

"I need her to be safe, here." He wanted Suzkau to know even after the argument they had just exchanged that he still considered Suzaku's apartment safe. "And while she's here I need to go take care of the problem."

Suzaku's eyes flicked to him.

Lelouch had intentionally left information out, he didn't want to tell Suzaku something that wasn't true and he wouldn't if he could prevent it.

They stood there at an impasse for several seconds before Suzaku gave another one of those assured nods.

"Alright, she can stay." Suzaku agreed.

Lelouch smiled again. "Thank you."

Turning to the door, Suzaku still kept his voice down as they moved through the kitchen. "How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know." Lelouch said, still elated that Suzaku had accepted his meager amount of information. "I'll be back at the very least by morning."

Suzaku looked a bit less satisfied with that answer as he opened the door to the apartment. But he gave in again and glanced back at the living room before he nodded again. "I'll be here,"

It was a good enough answer for Lelouch as he went through the door. On a last not he grabbed Suzaku's wrist. "Take care of her." He murmured low. "And-"he hesitated, "and wait for me, until I can come back."

It was a wave of relief as Suzaku gave that confident, soldiers nod.

* * *

><p>Standing at the door to one of the families, smaller, if not equally lavish manors, Lelouch felt the apprehension and doubt rising in him. He was already regretting his decisions, and he had yet to even knock on the door.<p>

Of course, as all knowing as ever, Lelouch only had to lift his hand before the door was opened. A smartly dressed man, giving a grand gesture to come in. He had bright blue eyes that danced to accompany that secretive smile.

Lelouch had yet to meet this family lapdog, through he was sure he was about to get well aquianted.

"Come in, mr. Lamprouge, my lord has been awaiting your arrival." The man said.

Stepping over the threshold felt too much like burning his bridges behind him, but Lelouch ignored it in favor of tipping his chin a bit higher and sneering as he spoke. "Inform my brother I don't intend to stay long."

"Naturally," the man rose from a bow. "Even my lord, Schneizel, wouldn't want to keep you from Euphie's side at such a tumultuous time."

Lelouch could feel as his veins were set alight with the blaze of anger, but there was no one to place it on as the man hastily gestured into the nearest drawing room and swiftly departed.

Another feeling he hated was rising in Lelouch chest. This one was hard to ignore as well. He was in way over his head with this one.

* * *

><p>Oh hey. Been a while, but don't worry the next couple chapters shouldn't take so long.<p>

~Reviews are Awesome~


	7. Friends and Family

**Special thanks: pft980811, Yarouka, OrangeFoxx, kay-kw33n, XxJewelxX, gabstergirl, Allora Gale, luckless-is-me, Diana Prince, zemmeline, .Prayer, ssplague, BrokenWings66, GrimIsaac, Baba, eff-eff-fanatic, Killua17, Guest, Lee, liolin, Kay54**

* * *

><p>Jan 29th, 2012<p>

7.

Friends or Family

* * *

><p>Standing at the door, Suzaku took a minute to himself. Then he took another minute. Eventually he ended up with his head leaning on the door, his shoulders slumped and his arms hanging lack at his sides. His mind was still trying to process what had just gone on in front of him, but was finding a blank at the end of his memory.<p>

The confession Lelouch had given him actually explained a lot. Then again it only opened up more questions in the end. Now, Suzaku's mind buzzed with little callous things like whether or not Lelouch really had invested anything in Suzaku. If he wasn't important enough to be talked about then what really was the measure of their relationship?

Suzaku huffed out a sigh, sliding his hand up to press against the door. Nothing would be solved if he chose to simply stay there leaning against the door like a drunkard.

That brought up another thought as he pushed himself up to stand straight. There was no way he could even hope to get drunk now.

He gave an inward groan before turning.

She was standing there, in the kitchen and watching him. Her legs looked like they might give under her at any moment. She had set the glass of water down on the table, her arms hanging at her sides as she looked to Suzaku.

"He's gone, isn't he?" She asked as she tipped her head up to look at Suzaku.

Suzaku pushed away from the door, taking a step closer to the girl. "Yeah, he just left."

"Did he say where he was going?" She replied so fast she almost cut Suzaku off. Her hands fisted in her skirt at her sides.

Suzaku stilled, watching her for a moment more before he shook his head. "No, but he said he'd be back before morning."

She nodded, looking down again. Her hand came up to her face. It surprised Suzaku in how quiet she was as she spoke again. "It's all my fault." She wasn't crying, but it was dang near close. "I didn't know what else to do and Lelouch was the first one I could think of that would help me." There were a few tears this time.

Suzaku could feel his limbs stiffen. It was mostly because he could still feel that contempt concerning the conversation he had just had with Lelouch. But it was also because before him was a woman crying. How the hell was he supposed to know what to do with her now?

He cleared his throat shuffling forward at the same time. Still unsure, he laid a gentle hand on her shoulder.

That didn't do much good as she just kept on crying, her face in both of her hands, and little shakes of her shoulders and trembles vibrating down her spine every few seconds.

"Hey," Suzaku tried. "It'll be alright. I promise. I'm sure Lelouch knows what he's doing." He tried to keep it general since he hadn't the foggiest idea what had happened and Lelouch had made it clear that until it was all over Suzaku didn't have a right to ask any questions.

She raised her head just a bit, looking at him up thought bedraggled fringe. "Yeah, I suppose you're right." She gave a hiccupped last effort at more tears. "Lelouch will know what the right thing to do. He always does." She started to wipe at her face with shaky fingers.

Not true, Suzaku wanted to point out. Lelouch don't always know the right thing to do, like lying to everyone in his life about having a boyfriend for instance. Suzaku shook his head, he'd be sure to have that talk with Lelouch, and his sister didn't need to hear it. Instead of open his mouth then, and probably spilling more contempt for Lelouch than was necessary Suzaku grabbed a dish towel to hand to the small girl. It was the closest he had to a handkerchief.

"Thank you," she said as she took the towel and used it to dab at her eyes, trying to clearly avoid smearing make up.

A smile did finally break on Suzaku's face. "How about some dinner?" Suzaku asked in a soft tone. He took his hand away from her shoulder as he moved to the pantry. "I'm sure something to eat will help." He'd already had dinner, but that was at least a few hours behind him at that point and he had no doubt waiting for Lelouch would be a short time. He might as well eat again.

That earned him a smile from the girl as well, as she finally lifted her head up fully. "That would be lovely." She proceeded to take a seat at the table and looked hopefully to Suzaku.

He hadn't quite expected that reaction but he shrugged it off, pulling some Hamburger Helper from the shelf.

"Um," the girl spoke up. "What actually is your name?" She sounded a bit bashful but was still looking at him with big lavender eyes.

Suzaku wanted to sigh. That would be Lelouch to not even tell her where she was going to be staying the night. He gritted on a polite smile. "I'm Suzaku," he paused, wanting to growl the next words but instead kept that polite smile as best he could. "Lelouch's-friend." It was even hard to get his mouth to form the words.

An ethereal smile spilled on to the girls face. "I'm Euphie."

* * *

><p>Of course, Schneizel would make Lelouch wait a good twenty minutes before sauntering in. He came with that cocky smile as he entered the drawing room, looking Lelouch up and down with that general smugness that was so damn aggravating.<p>

In summery, his behavior was stating a clear message: that bastard was gloating.

"It is quite a pleasure to welcome you into my home, my dear brother." That smile only spread, smearing the smugness around.

Smoldering violet eyes flicked up to look at the looming man. Lelouch wasn't going to move from his seat, wasn't going to give Schneizel the satisfaction of politely rising for the host. Lelouch sneered at at him, forcing himself not to hiss like an affronted cat.

Schneizel leveled his gaze on Lelouch, not so much as stopping to blink at the look of utter disdain. He turn primly to mantle and lazily made his way there. "I thought you would have been here earlier, seeing as how I was informed of the situation much earlier this evening."

Lelouch stroked the long stem of his wine glass, contemplating what he should say or even if he should speak up at all. He took a sip of the red wine, savor in the taste as it went down. One of the family manors was after all one of the last places he would be caught for any kind of crime.

"You have enough problems all on your own, you know." Schneizel said in a tone just loud enough to travel to Lelouch's ears. "And I can assure you the last thing you need is to be tangled up in is family politics."

Lelouch head whipped up. Staring into those icey blue eyes. "You've got to be mad." He hised under his breath. "You're the one who wants to rip me from my life and tangle me up in-" he gestured to the wine and then on second thought all around him, "this, the family politics, everything."

There was a low rumbling of a chuckle humming through Schneizel's closed mouth smile this time. "My, my you are becoming quite crass in the past few days." Schneizel placed a hand on the mantle, idly stroking the fine carved decorum. "I do wonder where these little out bursts of yours are coming from."

Lelouch wanted to stand and raise his voice again. But he knew that would only prove Schneizel's point. So contrary, Lelouch tried to compose himself again. He was running on raw emotion and he already knew that wasn't the way things should be handled with his elder brother. So he looked down, trying to think of ice and stone and stoic expressions, pulling his emotions back and letting logic feel the space in between.

When he was sure he was ready, when he was sure his face would show no other emotion other than mild interest, Lelouch looked up and made to begin the conversation anew. "There is no need to worry for my sake, brother. I can assure you, I'm doing quite well. I'm sure it's just the stress of my life at the moment." Lelouch knew that he still harbored just a touch of spite within his tone but it wasn't enough to cause any real change. He could work with the spite.

A poised and pleased smile stretched on Schneizel's lips then. Lelouch could almost hear the chiding, 'good boy,' Schneizel's eyes conveyed. He made a sharp sound with his tongue as he gazed at Lelouch. "Of course. I can only imagine your position right now."

And it was just like Lelouch remembered it. Almost instantly the miss step seemed forgotten. Lelouch knew full well that that it was far from forgotten, but it was being ignored none the less.

"Yes," Lelouch said as he looked to his lap before looking back up. "Well, as you have made mention the events of the evening haven't helped with my position much either." Lelouch let his eyes peer up through his long lashes and inky colored fringe to his elder brother. Looking small and innocent would be the best ploy.

"Indeed." Schneizel turned back to the mantle. "I'm afraid our dear sister has taken a very unfortunate miss step." He looked down at his white gloved hand still resting on the mantle. "I feel for her. And was greatly relieved to hear that she had gone to your residence soon after."

So they knew, and from Schneizel telling Lelouch they wanted that information clear. Lelouch could only hope that they didn't know that he had then taken Euphie to Suzaku's apartment. Counting on Suzaku's apartment to be safe was why that decision had been made. If the family sent someone there-well, Lelouch would lose two people very important to him all in one stroke. His muscles tensed but he forced them to still a moment later. He still needed that small and needy appearance.

Thinking what to say and how to say it was the hardest, Lelouch decided. "I do think that this situation is far from over, brother." He hated it in himself to intentionally sounds as if he wanted Schneizel's help, but that-that was why he had come in the first place.

"Quite," Schneizel's eyes lazed a side long glance in Lelouch's direction. "It will take a lot of time before things are settled I'm afraid." He wasn't smiling this time. There was no amusement in the set of his jaw. Pure ice was what formed that look.

That was exactly what Lelouch was afraid of as well. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rise as he abruptly looked down at his lap, his hand on the arm of the chair reflexively clenching. He couldn't let Schneizel see the widening of his eyes though as he spoke. "And within the family? How long do you expect it will be until that is handled?" He could feel the muscles in his jaw dancing, tense and then loose one second, set alight by the nervous thumbing of Lelouch's own pessimistic thoughts.

Schneizel shifted at that, Lelouch could hear but refused to look up. They were being cordial to each other and as long as that was still in the air of the room, it was doubtful that Schneizel would pull anything. "What she's done, Lelouch, can't be treated lightly."

Swallowing, Lelouch studied the fabric of the armchair for just a moment more before speaking. "I'm not asking for total amnesty." He braced himself on the armchair. "This is nothing that my own mother wouldn't have done." Smoothing his hands over the rich and soft fabric on the armrests, Lelouch shifted his head to look up at his brother. "Just some lenience, even in the slightest, that's all I'm begging you for."

Lelouch could feel as his spine bolted ram-rod straight as Schneizel took a long, sauntering step forward towards him. He forced his shoulders to relax as Schneizel's brow raised in question, but regardless he took his time with another long stride forward.

It was when that tall, looming man stood so very close to Lelouch that he started to feel that hard-earned cold facade crumbling. He set his jaw regardless. With a shift of his weight, Lelouch really felt as his elder brother entered into his personal space. Lelouch looked down and away, at one of his hands.

A cool, soft gloved fingers made light contact under Lelouch's chin. Defiant, Lelouch refused to look up even then, keeping his eyes low. Those long fingers ran along Lelouch's jaw line and curved underneath to lightly urge Lelouch into tipping his head back. That carful hand still held Lelouch chin, careful as if he were made of glass, but almost in a presenting way, as if Lelouch was something precious to behold.

"Before all this, I never would have thought I'd hear those words from you." Schneizel said. "and now I'm hearing them often."

Lelouch didn't have a choice any longer than to look up at Schneizel. He reminded himself that he was playing by the rules of the game still. He hadn't made any uncalled for move and until he did he knew that Schneizel wouldn't step out of turn. Or at least as far as Lelouch had known that was how the game had been played in the past.

"What surprises me most," Schneizel said as he titled his head, adjusting his hand and tilting Lelouch's chin, for what appeared like inspection. "Especially coming from you is that each of these desperate pleas are in the stead of someone else." There was another low chuckle and Schneizel started to let Lelouch's chin settle into a more natural position. He still kept his hand there, stroking along Lelouch's jaw and along the underside. "Whatever has happened to my self-centered and apathetic brother?"

Proximity and nervousness still pounding in his veins stifled any snarky reply urging at Lelouch's lips, instead he simply shrugged and looked away for a moment.

He swallowed before he could bring up the courage to speak. "Things change, Schneizel."

"Indeed they do."

Lelouch was startled by how close that voice was to him. His eyes widened as he realized his brother was leaning down to him and in closer. He wanted to jerk away from him, but instead he forced himself to still, letting his chin still lightly rest in his brothers grip.

It wasn't until Schneizel shifted and leaned ever closer, his breath ghosting over Lelouch's skin that Lelouch had to look away or go cross eyes watching his brother. There was another breath, this one alighting over Lelouch slightly parted lips. The sensation sent a tense shiver scrambling down Lelouch's spine and in response Lelouch couldn't stop the jerk of his head away.

He instantly regretted the weak action and his eyes cracked open, only to widen as Schneizel shifted the half an inch closer to Lelouch's ear.

"You have certainly changed a lot, my dear little brother." It sent another terrifying shiver down Lelouch's spine as those lips brushed against the sensitive ridges of his ear as Schneizel spoke.

Lelouch tried to compose himself better but past the words that were so eloquently spoken against his ear all he could concentrate on was the pounding of his heart. In the end, he just managed to close his eyes, shuddering as Schneizel's hand slid up and onto the armrest of the chair, holding himself closer to Lelouch.

The worst was that—he couldn't—didn't know what to do. If he rejected his brother as he always did he knew he would sentence Euphie, and yet if he didn't… but he wanted to pull away. He could feel his skin crawling. His mind screaming that he should move, run, protest, anything! As that arm enclosed around him Lelouch shrank back, gathering his hands to himself at his chest.

That only elicited another chuckle from Schneizel, only this time it vibrated against Lelouch's ear, cloying against Lelouch's jaw. "Unfortunately for both of us," He eased up then, taking his hand away, and pulling back. "Things in this family will never change."

Lelouch finally felt as if he could breathe again, gasping on to the fresh air as he steadied himself in the chair.

Schneizel was all propriety and nobility as he stepped away, turning back to the mantle. "Lelouch, though it is quite endearing and admirable, I'm afraid that your pleadings instead for our dear sister will only find deaf ears here." Those icey eyes were still locked on Lelouch, still watching him. "It is very regrettable what has happened, but regardless, retribution needs paid."

Turning his head, Lelouch favored Schneizel with a long glance before he stood from his seat. "I see," Lelouch murmured low.

He knew well enough that if Schneizel couldn't offer help, even with the price he'd clearly wanted to demand as payment, than there was nothing more that Lelouch could do for his sister.

Before Lelouch turned to the door though, he gave one last shot, looking back to his elder brother he asked. "Would you at least tell our father that I came here.? Tell him that I came here for her cause, for her sake."

Schneizel looked at him for a long moment, his expression serenely unreadable before he gave a light smile. "I would be pleased to do so."

It was a moment before Lelouch nodded, satisfied his brother wasn't lying to him and turning back to the entryway.

"Oh, Lelouch,"

He stopped. Lelouch could feel his joints lock, defying his minds wishes to turn to his brother again. It took a moment for Lelouch to overcome the feeling and as composed as he could he managed to half turn, peering at his brother as if all he wanted wasn't to run as fast as he could from the manor.

"This evening I was also made aware of something else," Schneizel flicked his icey eyes up, scanning over Lelouch before going on. "If I were you, well I'd try and settle this disengaged situation you have managed with the Major. "

Lelouch could feel his eyes widen and he gave a jerky nod, trying to process the information. This was the second mention of his relationship with Suzaku, and it was even more unsettling this time around.

"Excellent." Schneizel said with an off handed tone. "If you were to leave him after all, I'm sure the consequences for him would be less than desirable. I've been told he's a man that's achieved quite a lot already in life, I'd hate to see that lessened in any way."

His jaw set at the underling threat in his brother's words. But instead of lashing out like he would like, Lelouch just locked his gaze onto his brother, his eyes narrowing, making his own message of solidarity clear.

Another amused smile was his answer. "Kanon will see you out."

Lelouch leveled that glare on Schneizel just a moment more before turning to that same smiling blue-eyed man that had met him at the door.

* * *

><p>Suzaku met him with the same cold expression he had said goodbye to Lelouch with. It was midway through the night, and very much past any reasonable time to be awake by most standards, but Lelouch still turned to Suzaku in the kitchen.<p>

He could see in the room beyond that Euphemia had been well taken care of, tucked into the makeshift bed in the couch. The remains of what looked like a real dinner for once were in the sink, Suzaku looked to be about half way through the dishes.

Lelouch looked over at him. Suzaku was still in slacks and the same dark shirt from earlier that evening. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his collar unbuttoned just enough to see the hollow of his throat.

God, doing his homework at the table and watching Suzaku scurry around in the rush to get ready seemed like it was eons ago, asking Lelouch to help him with this or that. It was a good thing too, because Lelouch was pretty certain Suzaku went spontaneously blind every morning when he dressed himself. It was another good thing that he was required a uniform. Lelouch felt like it could have been weeks since then, especially with that solemn and stoic expression that now occupied Suzaku's expression.

There was no insatiable questioning this time around, Lelouch snorted. Not that Lelouch was allowed to think about breaking up now. Schneizel had been clear enough on that.

Suzaku's expression didn't change as he turned back to the sink. He looked pointedly down at the task as he grabbed a scrubber and another plate.

Right, so he'd done as Lelouch had asked, staying up to meet him at the door, and yet he would still defiantly refuse to say so much as a word to Lelouch.

Lelouch almost rolled his eyes at the other man when he remembered that-wait, wasn't that what he was doing? As things were shaping up, Lelouch had bowed to every demand his family had made, though he'd done his best to not act happy about it.

So unfortunately brought to a measure of sympathy and understanding Lelouch retrieved a dish towel, pulling on a light smile as he approached Suzaku's back. "Well, for once you've cooked, and cleaned, both appears to be a thorough job and surprisingly all with in the same night." Lelouch chuckled as he started to dry off the dishes stacked in the drainer. "Maybe I should make you mad at me more often."

The look he received would be a definite answer, no. Nope, he shouldn't make Suzaku mad like that on purpose... Ever.

Lelouch looked down at the dish in his hands. He turned to put it away in the cupboard before he returned to Suzaku's side. The man refused to look at him this time around. Lelouch had the off handed thought, that the neglect may actually be better compared to the glares that had been shot since he'd come back.

This time as he approached he did it with a much different tactic. "You're angry with me?" He said in a low voice. The last thing he needed was Euphie waking for the exchange.

Another glare as Suzaku took a step closer to him, sliding a dish into the drainer. "You tell me, genius." He hissed in an equally low tone past Lelouch's ear.

Making the blows personal and biting seemed everyone's goal that night, Lelouch observed and he shrunk back from the way Suzaku roughly slammed a cup into the second sink for Lelouch to rinse and dry. Dipping his head, Lelouch looked back through the doorway to his sister.

Clearing his throat, he tried to pull in as much courage as he could manage as he stepped forward, resting his hand on Suzaku's shoulder. "Can we please not do this here?"

He thought for a split second that Suzaku might yield even the tiniest and agree to take it back to the bedroom.

That thought passes as Suzaku charged again, "Of course, wouldn't want anyone finding out about us now would you?" He turned back to the pan in his hands, scrubby a bit harder than necessary as he went on under his breath. "It would be an embarrassment after all if anyone knew you had some hang on like me."

Lelouch dropped his arms, leveling his own gaze in Suzaku's direction. "It's not like that, Suzaku!" He snarled in the quietest tone he could manage. "I told you, it's complex."

Suzaku laughed as he turned those vicious eyes on Lelouch, giving up on the dishes completely it seemed this time around. "Right. So trying to explain it at all would just be too much of a hassle to indulge in." Suzaku gave a mocking bow. "So sorry to trouble you with such petty worries like honesty."

That sparked Lelouch's own outrage. "Stop it!" He hissed. "My family is a complicated matter. You have no idea what you're talking about."

Suzaku seized his wrist this time around, clenching as he pulled Lelouch closer.

Nose to nose, Lelouch felt his nerves run wild again as he stared back into those narrowed and darkened eyes.

"You're right," Suzaku hissed. "I have no idea, but seeing as how you never talk to me, I don't see how that's my fault."

Lelouch jerked against Suzkau hold on his wrist, trying to jar himself free. It was clearly a lost cause he realized as Suzaku's grip only tightened.

"Therefore every fault in this situation must be mine?" Lelouch concluded. The distinct sound of disdain he was sure must have been quite audible.

Suzaku took a step closer, his grip tightening as he forced Lelouch's arm back.

With a hiss, Lelouch managed to take a step closer to Suzaku instead of buckling at the knees. He immediately returned his eyes to Suzaku, glaring right back in to those olive green eyes.

"Right, because resourcing to physical means to make me instill any amount of trust in you is a brilliant idea, Suzaku." Lelouch gave him a vicious smile.

That grip on his wrist was only tightened just a little bit more, the crinkle of Lelouch jacket the only sound for a moment or so before Suzaku sneered. He took a final step forward, close enough he could breathe against Lelouch's ear. Lelouch's jaw jumped and flexed as he held in the cry as his arm was pushed back even farther.

He could feel that hot breath over his skin, and Lelouch hated that even then he didn't feel the need to twist or squirm or even move away from Suzaku.

"Words," Suzaku breathed, sending shivers down Lelouch spine.

In response Lelouch turned a baleful eye towards him, giving a groan through gritted teeth. Right, and Lelouch had thought he would have been able to call off this off earlier that night. The boy almost literally had him bending over backwards at his finger tips and Lelouch was so-god, it was so arousing.

"I've learned tonight," Suzaku went on, "That words have no meaning to you, Lelouch."

Grinding his jaw, Lelouch looked up in frustration before looking back to Suzaku. God, this was so different that dealing with Schneizel. Arguments were so-they were so heated. Lelouch could feel the emotion and he loved it so much.

"Without words, how then am I to make a fucking point otherwise?" Suzaku tightened his grip a final time, tipping Lelouch's arm just a touch farther back.

This time there was actual pain. Before had been uncomfortable but nothing unbearable. Lelouch choked on air, his eyes going wide.

"Stop," he whispered.

Suzaku only continued to watch him, that uncompromising expression still marring his face.

And fuck, Lelouch knew exactly what he was waiting for. "Please," he choked out. "Suzaku, stop." He snarled the words at him.

He released immediately, even reaching around, though a bit roughly, to keep Lelouch from falling.

The second Lelouch was steady and balanced again, Suzaku released him and turned back to the sink of dirty dish water. He looked as if the cold statue that Lelouch hated had returned, the moment the haze of anger cleared from Suzaku's eyes and the stoic mark of narrow eyes and thin line of his mouth returned.

The twinge in his shoulders eased as Lelouch let them drop. Eyes still trained on Suzaku, Lelouch wondered if this really was going to be their end tonight.

Then Suzaku sighed and pulled the stopper for the sink, turning and wiping his hands on a dish towel as the sink emptied. "I don't know if I'm madder at the fact you lied to me, and to everyone else in your life or if-" he stopped, folding his arms and looking at the floor. Hepulled in a breath before going on. "Or if I'm mad because as much as I wanted you to be a part of my life, I know now I failed and that I really do know nothing about you."

Head tipping back up, Lelouch cocked his head. If he wasn't mistaken this could quite possibly be seen as yielding. Only marginally, but at least it was progress. He shifted to catch those green eyes and was met with cold and emotionless frost bite. Lelouch nodded, still keeping his distance.

This wasn't yielding, it was compromise.

Makes sense really, his family simply didn't do that so of course it would take a minute or so to recognize.

There was shuffling across the room, and Lelouch looked up at the same time Suzaku doing the same to see his sister. She was still asleep, only shifting on the couch. The rustle of the blankets the catching sound for both men.

Looking back to Suzaku, Lelouch reached out, lightly laying a hand on Suzaku's arm. "Come on," he urged.

Suzaku only looked back at him for a few brief moments. Just long enough to instill Lelouch with the doubt that he would follow at all. But he nodded, setting the dish towel down on the counter and following Lelouch back to the bedroom.

It was a surprise when he felt Suzaku from behind take a step closer to Lelouch, easily slipping off Lelouch's jacket.

"Thank you," Lelouch murmured as Suzaku slid past him to hang the jacket in the closet.

There was another long pause as Suzaku turned back to Lelouhc. He looked over at the air mattress that hadn't probably been used in weeks. When he spoke it was in a quiet tone. "I don't feel like we worked anything out." He said. The set of his jaw told Lelouch that he wasn't particularly happy about the fact either.

"We talked." Lelouch said. "Isn't that what you wanted? To talk about it?" He tried to hold back that lingering acidic tone, but despite his best efforts, he could see from the way Suzaku's features went still and cold again that he'd failed.

Suzaku looked to the side, absently unbuttoning his shirt. It took Lelouch a moment to come to the conclusion he was trying to kindly not start another conflict.

The silence only seemed to further hurt Lelouch's already enflamed and raw nerves. "What do you want?" Lelouch hissed. "We both know I'm not going to tell you every aspect of my life." He hadn't even told him about, well any aspects of his life.

Suzaku looked up. He looked like he wanted to full out and growl at Lelouch.

"You know," Lelouch snarled for him. "In my option this is a rather fair situation. You tell me nothing about yourself, your work, anything about you beyond the mundane, and in return I have down the same." He folded his arms, letting that marred expression of defiance soak into his features.

Suzaku was still looking at him, still watching him with those keen but stoic eyes. Cold wasn't quite the right metaphor to fit them. They weren't like Schniezel's, ever preset, biting and distant. But they were a degree of cold. They were solid unwavering, and yet so-stones. Lelouch nodded. It was like gazing at two smooth and solidly indestructible stones.

"What's your major?" Suzkau abruptly asked, his jaw setting as he took a step closer to Lelouch.

"What?" Lelouch asked, his brow knitting.

"I don't even know your major." Suzaku snarled at him for real this time. "We've been dating for almost three months and I don't even know your major. You know where I work, my rank, you've been in my office."

Titling his head Lelouch reloaded to fire back. "Because obviously all that information is so vital to your life."

"My job is my life." Suzaku affirmed without the blink of an eye.

"Then why the bloody hell am I here?" Lelouch hissed. His arms shot apart, his hands fisted.

Suzaku's eyes widened at that, his eyebrows going up. It seemed that just maybe that little detail hadn't occurred to him. His chest heaved, rib cage expanding as Suzaku tipped his chin up. "You're right." He looked at Lelouch dead center in the eye. "I don't need this."

This time it was Lelouch's turn to be startled. "Excuse me?"

"You deal with me like I'm a hassle, or at least you have for that past few weeks." Suzaku said in a much more level tone than before. "I don't want you here unless you want to be here," he turned to the dresser, starting to remove his wrist watch. "And the answer to that has been made very clear, Lelouch."

"So you're just going to throw me out?" Lelouch hissed. He hated that Suzaku had turned away, leaving Lelouch with his back. It wasn't polite.

"No," Suzaku said as he started to remove his shirt form his shoulders. "I'm giving you the option to cut and run."

Lelouch hated the way Suzaku said that even worse. The other man had no right to be that damn calm about this. Lelouch stalked forward, gripping Suzaku's should to pull himself closer.

"Has everything that's happened meant nothing to you?" Lelouch leaned in, wanting to snag that eye contact again.

Of course, Suzaku managed to avert his gaze, looking down into the drawer of t-shirts at his hands. He look up as he spoke though. "And what has happened?" He looked like he sincerely meant that question. "We've done nothing to impact each other's lives-"

"You've changed mine." Lelouch interjected.

Instead of reacting the way Lelouch had thought he would, the way Lelouch wanted him too, Suzaku's eyebrows lowered and his teeth gritted. "How?" His voice was low, but he was definitely angered again. "As far as I can tell, you don't even like me enough to tell a single soul about me!"

"Will you come off it!" Lelouch hissed in response. "I come to you when I need help, when I need escape for a reason. Devaluing that won't be done, at least not from my side."

Suzaku looked at him for a moment more before speaking. "Then at the very least give me a why. If I'm your petty indulgence at least give me the reasoning behind it." His eyes shifted back down as he tried to act like he was just casually pulling a shirt out of the dresser drawer.

"Shouldn't the fact I want you in my life despite all this convince you that you're more than an indulgence to me?" Lelouch shifted forward just a bit.

Suzaku reacted almost immediately, his head rearing up and taking a step back. "Can you give me a why or not?"

Widening his stance Lelouch tried to meet that gaze. For a split second he almost thought about skirting his way through some half-truth answer. Instead he answered in a for voice. "No."

At the very least Suzaku didn't strike back. He looked down. "I don't understand." He pulled the old shirt on over his head before going on, looking at Lelouch this time. "I don't know if I can trust you anymore."

Lelouch nodded. That was fair. It was better to be skeptical than ignorant. "I trust you." He gestured to the door. "I come here the moment I need some where to go, I leave my sister with you."

There was still no clear emotion on Suzaku's expression then. He just looked back at Lelouch, not perplexed, but clearly not understanding either. "I still don't know if I could trust you."

Sighing, Lelouch crossed his arms again. He looked to the dressers before slanting his eyes at Suzaku. "Well what about tonight? Do you trust me enough to stay the night?" He his jaw shifted as that look turned to a glare. "I've stayed here for nights before-"

"How'd you explain that one huh?" Suzaku already had his jaw set again as those eyes shifted into shielded olive green stones again. "Or all of those nights really." He glanced away. "Guess I know why he never liked to stay in the mornings."

His mouth at some point had hung open, his mouth forming a bit of an 'o' shape in the process. Lelouch licked his lips, shutting his mouth before he looked down. Starting to blame each other now for previous actions would just lead them in circles. It was his turn to make a compromise.

"I can't tell you why," Lelouch said in a strong voice. Looking up he shifted to try and make Suzaku look back at him in return. "But I trust you, Suzaku. You're a part of my life even more than you know."

That strong jaw line jumped with the nerves, probably in time with the roiling emotion that always displayed itself so easily on Suzaku's sleeve.

"I do it for a reason." Lelouch said ever shrugging. "It's not like you aren't keeping things from me in return. I tried asking and you turned me away." His eyes lashes flutter and his eyes flashed as he looked back to Suzaku. "And I'm still here."

The soldier across from him still refused to look at him.

Lelouch almost started to think that maybe the silence was the best he could hope for, at least until Suzkau shifted.

He still didn't look at him as spoke, but he was speaking in a quiet tone. "I don't like this." There was another moment of shifting, uneasy, tethering on the edge of taking a step away from Lelouch or taking a step closer.

Lelouch took that step forward for him, charging on him. He didn't turn to make Suzaku would be looking at him, only came closer. "And you expected what? Perfection?"

Suzaku chuckled, startling Lelouch. "I almost would expect nothing less from you."

Trying to compose again, Lelouch swallowed, "sorry to disappoint."

When Lelouch looked up he was met with green eyes for the first time in several minutes. "We all have our faults." Suzaku murmured.

Licking his lips Lelouch paused before saying again. "I still trust you."

Suzaku shook his head, "I don't."

His eyes flashing Lelouch tried not to make it into a glare. "Before you told me that you didn't know. What's caused you to make a decision in just a few minutes?"

"I'd rather lean on the side of caution." Suzkau explained. "And as we have both discovered in the last few minutes time, we might as well be strangers for how much we really know about each other."

There wasn't much else that could be said in response.

Luckily, Suzaku seemed to pick up on the silence as he slid past Lelouch to the dresser. "Come on, I have a shirt you could wear for the night."

When Suzaku handed him a baggy, ridiculously oversized t-shirt with some military logo printed on the back, Lelouch accepted.

* * *

><p>The last thing Suzaku needed as he walked into his office was to be met with Private Kouzuki. Suzaku stiffened, but continued to his desk.<p>

"Running a bit late there, sparky." The girl mouthed off to him.

Suzkau set the brief case he carried down on his desk, willing himself to calm. After everything that had happened this was the last thing that he needed. And for once he wasn't above pulling rank on the private before him just to flick her annoying ass off his case for once.

He breathed, letting the fresh air wash over him before straightening. That wasn't true. He didn't hate Kouzuki. She was a good soldier and loyal to Toudou beyond almost all comparison. There was no reason to take his frustrations out on her.

"How may I assist you, Private?" He asked as he opened the brief case, taking out the documents he intended to get started on right away. He needed a distraction. No, that was a lie. He needed an outlet. But the shooting range would have to wait until after work. Then again, maybe if Suzaku played his cards right he could do some investigating. Hand to hand combat sounded perfect, and maybe he would get luck and training would give him the opportunity to slam some of the younger soldiers to the ground.

"Don't sound so over joyed to see me, Boy Scout."

Suzaku looked up then. He wasn't smiling.

It must have been enough because the look on the Kouzuki's face cycled through several emotions connected to surprise before her expression hardened and she straightened up. She didn't look happy about finally facing up to the fact Suzaku was a higher rank, but at least she did it.

"Coronel Tohdoh would like to see you in his office Major."

Suzaku stopped what he was doing. With everything that had been going on in his life he had completely forgotten about the exchange he had with Tohdoh. Man, how long ago had that been? A part of Suzaku even thought about telling Kouzuki that he had no intention of meeting with Tohdoh.

But duty and obedience won out in the end, and Suzaku nodded. "Tell him I'll be there in a few minutes."

Suzaku never even looked up to see if Kouzuki left.

* * *

><p>There was a moment walking in to Toudou's office that Suzaku considered just turning back around and leaving things as they should be, in the past. But Toudou's looked up the second Suzaku stepped into his door and nodded. The nod Suzaku had wanted since had first entered boot camp.<p>

It was enough, and Suzaku stepped into the room taking a seat before the simple but imposing desk.

Toudou's office was almost the opposite of Cornelia's, but unfortunately just as intimidating. It was so different though. The room was bright, white washed wall, and the window behind Toudou cimpletely open, streaming life in. It was all about functionality. There were no crowding of awards or trophies of former conquests. There was one book shelf, liked perfectly with books. And the rest of the walls were bare, white, visible walls. There was a certificate of office on tousou's desk, but it faced away from the viewer.

It was all so transparent. Suzaku shifted, he had little problem dodging Cornelia's questions or eve lying to her once or twice. But she had bore down on him, almost seeming to expect that he would lie. Toudou never expected anything like that for Suzaku. That was the hardest part about his former commander. He always expected honesty, and loyalty, and that Suzaku made the best decision in the worst of situations. And when Suzaku failed, because that seemed to be his ever present fate, he was always simply left with a disappointed shake of the head and Toudou's reassurance that he knew Suzaku could have done better and that he expected that in the future.

It was absolutely miserable.

There was a few more quiet seconds that Suzaku sat there. Toudou, content to keep writing on the papers before his desk, didn't even look up until he reached the end of the page. He stopped a moment later, capping the pen and neatly setting it parallel to the paper. When he looked up, Toudou clasped his hands in his lap and looked over Suzaku like he would look through a book.

The stare was unraveling and eventually Suzaku shifted, refusing to clear his throat but needing to somehow alter the stand still.

As always, Toudou was the last person to be coerced into anything and just stared back.

Suzaku had almost decided he should probably get up and go back to his office, even sliding to the edge of his seat before Toudou shifted. It was more of a straightening of his posture more than anything, not that he really needed it.

"It's been a very long time since I've seen you, Suzaku." Toudou said in that ever present deep but steel strong voice.

Suzaku straightened back up as well, watching the man across from him carefully as he gave a nod of acknowledgement.

"I think longer to you than it has been for me." Toudou said. "Change has a way of doing that to a man."

It was amazing that with such a passive comment Suzaku could feel a flush creeping up from his neck. A school boy flush of embarrassment was something Suzaku used thing he had out grown. In the end, Suzaku just looked down to his lap.

"You've done a lot in that amount of time." Toudou spoke on. It wouldn't have been as bad if there was at least some emotion there, but there was no cracks appearing in the stoic facade.

Suzaku hoped to any higher power out there that against all probably facts that just maybe Toudou wouldn't have found out exactly what Suzaku had gotten done. At the very least maybe Toudou hadn't found out what had earned Suzaku his cushy desk job.

"I wasn't surprised when I heard about your promotion to Major." Toudou went on. He gave a paused though.

It was just long enough that Suzaku tipped his head just enough to look up and see his former mentor pinning him with those dark Japanese eyes.

"I wasn't surprised when I heard you were being moved back to the states, either." There was no yielding in the gaze or Toudou's voice. His mouth a tight thin line held at what could be described as a harsh frown.

Suzaku's jaw tightened and he felt the heat of another flush as he looked back down into his lap.

"I always thought you understood, after struggles with your father especially, I thought you understood the responsibility required of you."

He don't sound angry. That was the most hard hitting part. Suzaku could handle anger, and snarl back usually once it reached the point of interfering in his life. He father had taught him how to handle and deal with anger. What Suzaku had never learned was how to deal with the probability that he would live up to others expectations, and he the consequences when the inevitable came to life.

"I never wondered what the military could do for you," Toudou shifted forward. "But I never considered that you might give into them first."

"I chose this," Suzaku said in a quiet tone. It wasn't the military's fault and Suzaku wanted that made perfectly clear. Not that Toudou was the sort to listen to him.

Toudou looked at him for several more moments before going on. "Tell me? How has wavering loyalties treated you?"

There was a tightening in Suzaku's throat as he considered a reply. He looked down a few seconds later, knowing that was all the reassurance Toudou needed of Suzaku's unspoken answer.

"Bismarck's unit never earned you anything in furthering yourself." Toudou clearly wasn't afraid of any consequences from Cornelia, Suzaku observed.

It occurred to him then that the Britannia's were quite close to Bismarck, uncanny for a well-established family. Then again Cornelia was in the army.

"That wasn't the purpose of his unit though, and I think you know it, Major." Toudou went on.

Suzaku looked up, finding those intense eyes on him again, as if they were trying to pull Suzaku's thoughts from his head and read them like a telegraph strip. There was a part of Suzaku, the boyish part, which still wanted to believe in superpowers, who shrugged at the notion as if it could be completely possible. Suzaku shook his head, if that was so he was damn sure Toudou wouldn't have called him here.

Suzaku looked back down. He deserved this scolding.

"I will be watching out for you, Kururugi," Toudou said in a much somber tone. "But you're decisions are yours alone. And I can't change them, nor would I want to. I'm not directly over you, but I still would like to see you live up to potential."

Suzaku dutifully nodded.

"The only thing I would like you to consider," he paused just long enough for Suzaku to look up and meet that gaze. "You need to look at where your aimless wandering has gotten you. And not just in the military, Kururugi." If it was possible the look on Toudou's face hardened even more, there was determination in the way his lip curled as he spoke. "Unless you wish to follow in your father's footstep I would suggest that you find a path for your life."

No further words were spoken for a few seconds as Toudou sat back.

Suzaku looked at him, and was instantly glad he bore no physical resemblance to his father. He knew Toudou had never meant to replace his father but somewhere in Suzaku's life he'd filled the role with more enthusiasm than Suzaku's real father had ever shown.

"I'm sure you have plenty of work to get done, Major," Toudou said a she looked back to his desk. "I'll let you get back to it."

Suzaku took that as his dismissal and briskly stood. He straighten out his uniform and have a salute, because it was Toudou, before he turned to the door.

"Kururugi," Toudou's voice echoed in the office, stopping Suzaku with just the tone.

Taking a breathe, and effectively stalling for just a few seconds before Suzaku turned to face his commanders desk. He linked his hands behind his back, looking toto udon with as emotionless face as he could.

"Principles matter, Major," Toudou's eyes were steadily trained on Suzaku.

Suzaku nodded.

"Don't forget that again," Toudou's said.

When the commander turned back down to the reports on his desk, picking up his pen again, Suzaku turned.

He paused by the door, his hand on the door frame. The pause for a moment was just enough for Suzaku to swallow another breath of air before he could speak. "Thank you-sir." Suzaku looked up, watching over his shoulder for just a second.

Toudou looked up for those few precious seconds. He watched Suzaku for a moment before he nodded and looked back down.

Suzaku let himself out, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Unfortunately, Suzaku was met with Kallen just outside the door. She was leveling a glare right in his direction. Suzaku could practically taste the sour black aura she had wrapped around her. She moodily sipped at a cup of coffee as she watched him.

Straightening his shoulders, Suzaku gave her a nod. "Thank you, Private Kouzuki, for bringing me the message to me this morning." And that was as much of an apology she was getting out of him really.

Nothing changed in her though and knowing nothing would, Suzaku moved to slide past her to his office.

"So you got one hell of an ass kicking," Kouzuki sneered as Suzaku passed. "And you're pathetic enough to say thank you for it."

He considered just staring straight ahead still and leaving her there in the hall. But a part of him-he didn't like all that much the person he was loaded to become as things stood. So he turned, and explained. "Sometimes," he paused considering if he should have used the privates name, though he shook his head and just went on. "Sometimes what you want isn't always what you need." He nodded at the end of that, assured even more that he had put it into words.

He heard the start of a sneer in Kouzuki direction and could bring himself to care any longer to turned to head back to his office.

* * *

><p>It felt so ironic, sitting there in the parlor again. He had guided his sister inside, telling her she could stay here as long as she needed, she could live there in the house as long as she liked.<p>

So ironic.

Just weeks before they had been distancing themselves from each other. Lelouch had been so determined to think of this as war and that his sheer willpower alone would keep his sister's name off the list of casualties.

And how easily that had all shattered. Lelouch clasped his sister's hands, next to him, squeezing as he tried to read he emotions on her face.

Lelouch had decided that telling her he would help would be the best. He had meant to tell her about Schneizel and his visit to the manor and all of it, but-but in the end Lelouch concluded that she didn't need to know. He didn't lie to her, he just didn't tell her.

"Your statement to the police was fine, Euphie. You did really well." Lelouch tried to give an encouraging smile.

She just looked down at her hands. "They didn't understand." Her voice was so quiet that Lelouch barely caught it, listening as intent as he could as well as watching her lips.

"Odysseus and the others," Euphie raised a shaky hand up to try and slide her hair back behind her ears. "They won't even look at me." She shook her head. "And the only one that does is Cornelia and she-she pitied me..."

Those wide eyes looked up To Lelouch. "What's going to happen to me?"

In Lelouch's mind flashed the image of his mother. But he still smiled though as he clasped his sisters hand a bit tighter. "We'll find a way through this."

That was a lie. Lelouch needed information on what was going on with the possession case but it wasn't like there was any way for him to get it on his own. He patted his sisters arm. "I'll find a way to get you through this." The only problem was that he wasn't sure how intact his sisters reputation would be in the end.

* * *

><p>Suzaku opened the door to the cab, before Lelouch could even have his hand on the handle. Suzaku even leaned in, paying for the cab before he closed the door and guided Lelouch in with a hand at his back.<p>

"Mr. Kururugi," the hostess said in a way that Lelouch suspected might be a hint of familiarity. "Just a moment please."

As she left, Suzaku dropped his hand from Lelouch's back, pocketing his hands and looking anywhere but at Lelouch.

But Lelouch couldn't stand it any longer. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

The muscles along Suzaku's jaw flexed. "Yes." He looked up, looking at Lelouch for the first time since a few nights before. "I don't hide important aspects of my life."

If that wasn't a scolding, than Lelouch didn't know what was. If they had been at Suzaku's apartment he would have called the lie out as well. Right he didn't hide things like his mail or his job or what he did before at all before Lelouch wandered in. Unfortunately they were in public. So a bit moodily he turned away to look in the opposite direction. There was the twitch in the back of his mind that couldn't manage to take this lying down. "I just am still wondering why you even invited me. It's not like we're much of a couple anyway."

The sidelong glance Suzaku direct at him sent a cold zip down Lelouch's spine.

The chilled voice that the soldier spoke in didn't make Lelouch feel any better. "Don't Lelouch. Not here at the very least. We haven't broken up yet and I was asked to bring my significant other, and at the moment that is you."

It was so matter of fact, Lelouch wasn't sure he even had a comeback ready. "Alright," he sighed the word. "Can we act like we're together then? At least for dinner?"

The regard the Suzaku gave Lelouch at that time made Lelouch yearn for their relationship just a few nights ago. He looked back down for just a second to regain his composure before he met Suzaku's gaze yet again.

There was a breaths amount of time before Suzaku nodded and took one hand out of his apartment. "You're right." He swallowed taking Lelouch's hand in a loose hold before going on. "This is important to me, I need these peoples approval."

He was looking at Lelouch with those deep green eyes and Lelouch could do nothing but look back.

It went without saying what Suzaku needed from Lelouch then. So with a smile, Lelouch tightened his hand and giving small, sad smiled before nodding.

Leaning in a moment later, Lelouch spoke. "Can we stop by the restroom? Your tie needs to be fixed."

This time when Suzaku looked at Lelouch, there was just a glimpse of the same happy go lucky boy Lelouch had initially met. "Of course," there was another breath before Suzaku ended. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>Unfortunately the small amount of relief and good feeling vanished the moment that the hostess presented the table to them.<p>

Lelocuh felt his expression harden as Schneizel gave him a pleasant smile. But that icey gaze only zoned in to Lelouch for just a moment before it shifted to Suzaku.

"Major Kururugi, " Schneizel said as he outstretched his hand.

Of course, Suzaku took the hand in a firm grip giving a shake before he stepped back to Lelouch. The soldier was already occupied with making a good impression as Schneizel turned his attention .

There was a split thought as he felt Suzaku's arm curl around his waist that it still wasn't too late to bolt. It wasn't too late not to just call an end and run. But the barrier of Suzaku's arm holding him still was just the tip of the iceberg compare to the pinning gaze of Schneizel's brilliantly snowy eyes. Besides, where was there to run? If he ran, he would be forced to abandon his sister to the wolves of Brittania and in the process possible getting Suzaku into a whole new world of trouble as well. It was a hard fact to swallow that for once in his life there was no way to wiggle his way free.

"This is Lelouch Lamprouge," Suzaku introduced him to the table.

It too more effort and courage to pull away from Schneizel's gaze than expected as Lelouch looked to the rest of the table. Of course, Bismarck was there as well as a few of his underlings.

Lelouch felt his stomach turn as the beast of a man, Bismarck stood reaching forward to Suzaku for another firm handshake. "Good to see you, Major."

Suzaku looked damn near euphoric as he clasped the outstretched hand eagerly, grinning and giving a nod as he spoke, "Likewise, Sir."

Lelouch felt like he was going to be sick. This was beyond anything he had expected. His knees felt like they would give and he leaned into Suzaku to stay standing probably a bit more than was appropriate.

Suzaku did notice, which was at least some small consolation. The man noticed and tightened his grip a bit on Lelouch's waist. He gave him a split second of an inquisitive glance before he nodded to another greeting, this time from a blonde giant of a man Lelouch hadn't seen before. He knew already though who the man probably was, especially since he was seated next to Bismarck.

Lelouch looked down for a moment, only giving as pleasant of a smile as he could beforehand. His breathe felt like it could barely make it out of his chest before he felt the need to gulp down more air. It was—he placed the sensation then. It was like drowning. He swallowed hard and followed Suzaku in a hasty step towards their seats. Lelouch noticed the firm hand on his arm after Suzaku had pulled out a chair for Lelouch. Lelouch didn't look up as he took the seat. Suzaku sat down next to him a moment later, looking up to the light conversation with a look of general interest. Looking up, Lelouch wasn't sure he could manage the same, seeing that his elder brother was seated right across from him.

The man gave a cool smile before joining in on the conversation.

Lelouch pointedly looked away, trying to catch his breath again. He felt like someone was trying to shove his head back under the water again. So with a bit more determination he turned back to the table. There was eight of them around. Three looked like command, including Bismarck and a rather large, portly man with a monocle. Lelouch didn't know his name, guessing he probably assumed the role in the time Lelouch had managed to keep out of the family. The third man in leadership was clearly his brother, and even though it was a round table, Lelouch could felt the superior presence he exuded. The rest looked like Bismarck's underlings.

Surprising was that—Kouzuki was there. She looked at him, just as lost and desperate from next to him. The giant Blonde next to her languishly extended an arm over the back of her chair, letting a large hand casually cup her shoulder. She looked at it for a second, long enough to give an eye roll to Lelouch. Lelouch smiled in response, turning back to the table. He was sure at some point the conversation at hand would be valuable.

"…foreign interests still shouldn't be as top a priority as they are for this country, or at least not the interests we pursue." The man with the scar said in a growling voice.

Schneizel gave him regard before looking to Suzaku. "What do you think, Suzaku?"

The soldier next to Lelouch froze. He clearly had been invested in the conversation only to the point of listening. Lelouch glanced at him, hoping for both of their sake's Suzaku didn't choke.

Suzaku sat a bit straighter, leaning back for a moment, his eyes flicking down, a good sign if it meant he was thinking. "I think—" He paused before looking up at Schneizel. "The best defense is offense." He sifted a bit, but Schneizel was still looking at him, clearly expecting elaboration. Suzaku swallowed before he gave it. "We can't just let something's be, they'll grow, they will infect others and if this country turned solely inward before we know it we would be surrounded by enemies, not that we already aren't. But it would be so much worse than it already is. I think to maintain safety and even prosperity to a certain point we have to be proactive about our approach, cut the roots of evil before it can grow large enough to overtake us."

There was a quirk of a smile from Lelouch's elder Brother. Suzaku may not know it, but if that smile had commentary it would be along the lines of, "well done."

Lelouch felt nausea return to him. Looking down he sincerely hoped, for at least Suzaku's sake, he wouldn't be sick.

* * *

><p>His reflection didn't look exactly peachy. But with another shuddering breath Lelouch whipped across his mouth, grateful he didn't look as ill as he thought. He imagined that's what happened when people were cornered into making decisions they would rather not. That feeling of drowning hadn't dissipated, but Lelouch at least knew he could manage to take a breath every minute or so.<p>

It was just too much to be able to stand his brothers extreme Darwinism without a breather.

Ready to face it again, Lelouch straightened.

Expectantly though as he came though the bathroom door he met Kallen. She held a drink in her hand as she leaned against the wall, watching the table from afar. Lelouch stepped up to her, buttoning his suit coat again as he observed the men at the table again as well.

"Does your Boyfriend know what he suggested would lead to perpetual war." Kallen said with a sneer. She shook her head as she looked ahead. "that idiot."

The rustling of clothing as Lelouch looked down was all the answer he gave for a moment. When he did answer he looked up to Kallen. "I wonder sometimes if the world isn't already perpetual war for him."

Her deep blue eyes, held so much—fire. Like bright blue sparks as she narrowed them on Lelouch. "You're defending him?"

. "Defend him?" Lelouch snorted. "I'm still trying to understand him."

"You haven't been given ample opportunity already?" Kallen sneered again.

That took an extra moment of marinating before Lelouch could eloquently assemble his words. "Opportunity doesn't mean either of us divulges much information."

Kallen raised an eye brow. "You're relationship on the rocks then?"

Lelouch took the drink from her hand, not quite sure it was but hoping for alcohol he knocked it back. It burned a lot which meant—certainly not a bitch drink. He smiled at her as he gave her the empty glass back. "It's better than dating the jolly blonde Giant."

He didn't give her the opportunity to answer as he made his way back to the table.

About to make it there, he saw his opportunity. Schneizel was at the bar. And he wasn't with any one. His brother looked expectantly at Lelouch. Of course he did. If he didn't want Lelouch to follow him over he would have had someone get him a drink.

There was a moment that Lelouch thought about simply turning back to Suzaku. It wasn't like Suzaku hadn't noticed the moodily and sullen exterior Lelouch hadn't quite been able to console over the course of the meal. He could say he didn't feel well, tell Suzaku he wanted to just go home. The soldier –Lelouch looked over at him. He looked like he was disappointed enough in Lelouch as of late.

And why pass up such an invitation?

Standing a bit straighter Lelouch glanced at the table one last time before he directed himself to the bar instead.

Of course, Schneizel gave him that same overly pleasant smile. As he moved to make room for Lelouch next to him, he leaned in then, closer than was comfortable as he asked, "Would you like something?"

Lelouch took a hasty step back and spun on his heels, every word he wanted to hiss and snarl at his brother at the tip of his tongue. But a second before he remembered the conversation they had had at the manor. Lelouch wouldn't concede another victory so easily this time around. He gritted his teeth, his chest heaving with the effort it too to calm down. "No, thank you.' He ended up sneering. He glowered at his brother but kept himself from speaking anything else.

"Naturally," Schneizel replied as he took a sip of his own drink. "We wouldn't want the Major getting in trouble for aiding a minor in underage drinking."

"Don't—" Lelouch hissed, cutting his brother off before he could stop himself. "At the very least let this rest when in public."

Schneizel gave another one of those smiles, the one that felt like a pat on the head for being such a 'good dog.' Lelouch looked down to keep from yelling again as his brother looked back to the table.

"You'll do well, you know." Schneizel said, taking another drink. "In the family and for the family, I know you'll accomplish things for this family we could have never done without you." He had that smugness about him again, as if he had already decided Lelouch's future, as if he already knew what was going to happen.

And it made Lelouch want to slam his face into whatever crystal ball he's consulted with. Instead Lelouch just leaned closer, letting that glower turn to a sinister glare. "We are far from checkmate, my oh so dear brother."

He strode back to the table with a bit more haste than was necessary, but he wasn't running. For once in his life, he hadn't run from the powers confronting him. He sat down next to his boyfriend and tried gave a pleasant smile.

However, Suzaku didn't look so pleased. The man took another drink before saying in an undertone to Lelouch. "I know you like antagonizing people, but please refrain from doing it when my job is on the line."

Lelouch nodded. Clearly the exchange had been observed. Good, maybe Bismarck would take a hint as well. But not so good for the glowering soldier next to him. "No harm done, Suzaku." Lelouch assured.

The soldier turned away from him. They didn't speak much for the rest of the night.

* * *

><p>When Lelouch got home the house was dark. Suzaku had pretty much put him in a taxi, pressing the fair into his hand and walked off with the tall blonde. Lelouch hated that it stung just a little that Suzaku hadn't even stayed long enough for Lelouch to slide into the taxi's backseat.<p>

It stung because Lelouch knew now that casual was anything but pleasant between them.

He huffed as he opened the door. He knew better than to start stripping the layers off but, he was too tired to care and instead started to remove his shoes.

Near the door was the house phone, though rarely used, placed on a neat little table. Lelouch stopped as he realized the voicemail light was on. He finished with his shoes and stepped up to the machine.

It might be Euphie, Lelouch thought to himself. Though if it was Euphie, Lelouch wasn't sure he wanted to hear the bad news he knew would shortly be on the way. But knowing the inevitable he pressed the play button and waited for the message to play.

"Honey! It's mommy."

It was surprising just how apathetic Lelouch felt at the sound of his mother's shaky voice. There was crackling in the background, probably because she couldn't manage to hold the phone still.

"I'm calling because well, mommy can't get into her bank account. Lelouch, dear, ask your father why this is."

There was a pause.

"I don't know what's wrong, your father won't return my phone calls."

Lelouch gave a sigh. She should've know by now the last person Senator Charles Zi Britannia would ever talk to was a refrain addict.

"But I need the money, so call your father and have him call me. Please, I just need to talk to your father. He can fix this I know he can. Your father can do anything-"

The message cut off there. Lelouch stood there not quite sure if she had left that message while under a bad trip or if that we her coming off the drug.

It was surprising yet again how-easy it was to just pick up his shoes and walk away. He sighed again as he started up the stairs. If he remembered in the morning he would send a message to Schneizel. God only knew how close the money in the family was being watched after everything with Euphie.

It didn't occurred to Lelouch until he was sinking into the blankets of his bed that this may just be the ruin of his mother. He highly doubted it, but it could be. She was resourceful enough that Lelouch doubted she could find money if she really needed it. She took it out of Lelouch's damn wallet last time, and that was her son. No telling what she might do to someone else.

* * *

><p>I just thought I would tell you all, I actually almost completely lost this chapter. I switch from my iPad to my laptop to the three different computers at work all the time and Dropbox is the one that is supposed to keep that all straight. Well, yeah Drop Box glitched and I thought I lost about eleven thousand words of an almost complete chapter. Thank goodness I saved it at work. Haha!<p>

Edit: So sorry! Turns out the draft retreived wasn't the final. I thought of taking it down, but instead I'm going to leave it up and over the next few days edit and reread several times to work out all the mistakes. No drastic changes will be made, just spelling ang grammar mostly. So pardon my errors and I hope you enjoy still.


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